


when the air ran out and we both started running wild

by darlingjustdont



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alpha Louis, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Ambiguous Ages, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Past Abuse, a whole lot of cuddles, i can never decide how old people should be soz, implied ziam and narry, more like werepuppies tbh, not like graphic but there's some, some blood, some violence, why is one direction literally just a pile of floppy puppies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-10-14
Packaged: 2018-07-14 01:27:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 47,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7146554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darlingjustdont/pseuds/darlingjustdont
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>“so,” zayn says. “what’s up with you and grimmy?” </em>
  <br/>
  <em>louis winces and winces harder when harry’s head whips around. </em>
  <br/>
  <em>“what did you just say?” </em>
  <br/>
  <em>“nick’s infatuated with louis, haven’t you noticed?”</em>
  <br/>
  <em>“he’s not!” they say together, harry in amazement and louis in exasperation. </em>
  <br/>
  <em>“i don’t know if that would work,” harry continues and niall sits down at his feet. frowning a little, harry plays with his hair. “he’s too tall for you.” </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> <br/>a werewolf au where louis is the alpha of a pack and meets nick.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. you've got the stars, they're in your eyes

**Author's Note:**

> this has honestly been sitting in my drafts since february, and i decided to brush it off and fix it up. i wrote this at sort of a weird place in my life and it was really difficult to get through, but here it is. also it wasn't supposed to be this long, which is why it's in lowercase haha
> 
> thank you to nicole and caroline for reading through it and being amazing friends. also thank you to adriana for all your support and for naming it werepuppies au. i love all of you!! 
> 
> title is from 1d's what a feeling, obviously. 
> 
> enjoy xx

louis finds them all, really. 

later they’ll all sleepily make jokes about him having a superpower for it, and he’ll laugh it off, but everyone’ll wonder. 

harry’s first, and it shows sometimes. they can communicate without words in their weird way, read each other at a glance. 

zayn’s next, and louis finds him drinking black coffee and looking lost. he doesn’t come home with him immediately, but shows up that night right as the sun is starting to sink. he doesn’t leave. 

the house is next, once louis realises this is going to be more than just _louisandharry._ when it’s starting to look like a pack and not two friends against the world. the house is empty and a bit rundown, but no one claims it and they can stay. 

he finds niall wandering around the perimeter of the property with a fresh bite on his hip. they bring him in and explain everything as they watch the wound close over until there’s a scar. 

liam he finds in an alley, very much smelling like other and very much looking like a punching bag. 

it’s not because he’s the oldest or the bossiest that louis is their leader. it’s because he found them all and tied them all together. made them into a pack.

//

the other three are waiting by the door when he comes home, liam in his arms. niall--bless him, still so new--whines a little as the overpowering scent of blood and someone else’s pack floods the room. louis spares a second to give him a kiss on the cheek. 

“you’re okay, yeah? i’m right here.” 

niall nods and lets himself be pulled into harry’s side. louis continues on to the kitchen and lays the boy out on the table, distractedly thanking whoever had the idea to clear it off that morning. 

“go get the med kit,” he says and the pair scamper off to find it. zayn hovers by the door and louis can feel his uneasiness. 

“what are you doing, lou?” 

“what does it look like?”

“his ties aren’t cut,” zayn says quietly. “he could be a rogue.” 

louis gives him an unimpressed glance. “does he _look_ like a rogue?” 

“i mean, no…” 

“he looks like had the shit beat out of him, and he’s not any older than niall. i wasn’t about to let him bleed out in an alleyway, zayn.” 

zayn makes a small noise and louis knows he’s given in. niall and harry come back with the med kit and pull out the antiseptic and the bandages. 

“thank you boys. come help me clean these before they close, yeah?” 

louis isn’t sure if the boy looks better or worse without all the blood. it covered up the bruises blooming over his skin. 

the boy’s still soundly unconscious when they’re done; he hadn’t moved at all while they were cleaning him up. his cuts are healing, slowly, but they’ve stopped oozing at least. 

“you can put him in my bed,” harry offers. “i’ll sleep with you tonight.” 

“you didn’t even ask,” grumbles louis but he slides his arms under the boy and walks towards harry’s room anyways. at least he keeps it clean, which is more than zayn or louis could say. harry darts in ahead and pulls down the duvet, flutters around the room like he doesn’t know what to do while louis puts him down. niall comes in with a glass of water and sets it on the nightstand.

they all look at the boy, pale against the sheets, before louis clears his throat. 

“alright, this is getting creepy. let’s go do something that’s not staring at him creepily.” 

“i’ll make dinner,” says niall. “is chicken alright?” 

he gets three yeses and disappears into the kitchen. zayn wanders away to do whatever he does in his room during his alone time, and harry turns on some music that he hums absently to as he plays on his phone. 

louis tries to read his book, but the smell of _otherotherother_ is too strong in his nose still, and it’s distracting. harry’s restless too, tense where he’s slouched on the sofa. louis stretches his legs out so their feet tangle together. 

harry hums, louder this time, and blinks at him. 

“are we going to be a five person pack now?” 

“if he wants to join, he can,” louis says slowly, because that’s always been the rule. 

“even if he’s someone else’s?”

“it’s his choice.” 

harry kicks him lightly on the ankle. 

“don’t know why he’d choose anything else,” he mumbles and louis smiles down at he kicks him back.

“yeah, remember that when you’re pouting at me for not buying the healthy shit you always want to eat.” 

“you can’t live on pot noodles and pizza, louis. you’ll die before you’re thirty,” he complains as he smushes his face into louis’ shoulder. 

“but what a _good_ way to go.” 

harry groans and bites a little at his shirt. 

“no biting unless you’re a wolf, harry. otherwise it’s just weird.” 

he’s not surprised when he gets bitten extra-hard. shoving harry away, he rubs at the teeth marks and ignores harry’s smug grin. 

“you’re a pest,” he tells him, but it’s fond, and harry shrugs. 

“you still love me, though.” 

and, well. louis can’t argue with that. 

 

“go to sleep,” he tells harry, who’s yawning approximately every ten seconds. 

“i’m waiting for you.” 

“i’m not going to sleep tonight, love. not until we know more about our guest.” 

harry frowns, a crease appearing between his eyebrows like it always does when he’s worried. “i can too, then,” he argues and louis shakes his head. 

“you’ve got a lecture tomorrow, and i can handle him. c’mon harry, please sleep.” 

he gets up, grumbling, but he does what louis asks. he passes by zayn when he shuffles out the door, and zayn gives louis a look. 

“you can also get your worrying arse to bed.” 

“i came to see if you wanted tea, actually.” it’s a lie, louis can smell it, but he doesn’t call zayn out on it. 

“of course i want tea.” 

that makes zayn smile, just a little, and he rolls his eyes. “dunno why i even asked.” 

he leaves and louis can hear him flick on the kettle and then slide out the back door. when he comes back with a cuppa, he smells like cigarettes and yorkshire. louis takes the mug with a thankful smile. 

“you sure you’ll be alright? he’s bigger than you.” 

“he’s also hurt,” louis points out, “and in a strange house. i’ve got the upper hand, i think.”

“okay. i’ll be right next door if you need anything.” 

louis sighs, but waves goodnight as zayn leaves the door a little bit open. he pulls out his book and takes a sip of his tea. 

 

the boy comes awake all at once, jerking up with a gasp and then falling back down almost as quickly, face tightened in pain. 

he blinks up at the darkness before turning his head to meet louis’ eyes, shrinking as soon as he does. 

“who are you?” he asks in a small voice and louis sets aside his book. carefully, he leans closer and stops when the boy looks like he’s about to bolt. 

“i’m louis.” 

“where am i?” 

“you’re in my house.” 

“are you part of the pack?”

“your pack?” louis asks carefully and the boy hesitates before nodding. “do i smell like your alpha?” the boy breathes in and louis watches the indecision play out on his face, relief and fear all at once. “what’s your name?” 

“m’liam.” 

“nice to meet you liam,” he says cheerfully. liam echoes it in a weak voice. “why are you all bloody?” 

liam’s face is blank when he answers. “i disobeyed.” 

“enough to get beaten to a pulp? what the fuck did you do?”

liam flinches. louis makes a mental note to be a bit more gentle, because he’s clearly terrified. 

“i didn’t listen.” 

“to?” 

he shakes his head and louis shrugs a little. 

“well, liam,” he says slowly. “unless you not listening put someone in danger, i don’t see why you needed to be roughed up this much.” 

eyes wide, liam bites his lip and shrinks back more. 

“why are you an alpha,” he blurts out and instantly tenses, like he’s afraid he’s done something wrong. louis pats his arm comfortingly. 

“cause the rest of the boys wanted me to be. didn’t feel like it, but i think i’m too bossy to be anything else. or at least that’s what zayn says.” 

“oh,” he says, still in that small voice. “can i stay here?” 

“it’s three in the morning, you’re not going anywhere until at least nine. probably ten.” 

“no,” liam starts before he looks at his hands, cheeks flushed red. “no, i meant ‘do i have to go back’.” 

louis blinks once and then softens. “let’s let you sleep, okay? we can talk about it in the morning, when neither of us are exhausted.” 

“okay,” liam says faintly and louis stretches his back. 

“now that you’re awake and we know you’re not dangerous, i’m going to bed. is that alright with you?” 

“yeah, of course.” 

“try and sleep some more. it’ll help you heal.” 

liam’s eyes are already slipping closed, and louis just holds back on giving him a kiss on the forehead before he leaves. 

harry’s asleep in the middle of his bed, curled up like a cat, and taking up way too much space. 

“hazza, move,” he whispers roughly, shoving at him. he rolls over with a little bit of effort and immediately curls up against louis’ back when he lays down. louis sighs, but falls asleep quite happily to the heat of someone else in his bed. 

 

zayn and niall have joined them by morning, which doesn’t surprise louis. the house is off-balanced, and they can all sense it, and no one likes to be separate when they feel strange. he lays in bed and enjoys the feeling of pack together before he goes to find the other. 

liam’s still asleep and crowded up on one edge of the bed, like he’s scared of taking up too much space. there’s something about him that makes louis uneasy, not because he’s a danger but because he seems so fragile. something’s gone wrong somewhere, and he doesn’t like it. he leaves liam alone and goes back to his boys, his pack. 

niall’s blinking awake when louis creeps in, and he smiles up at him a little dopily. 

“you alright there, nialler?” he whispers and niall nods, nuzzling a bit into louis’ hand in his hair. 

“feel weird,” he mumbles and louis remembers just how new at the werewolf thing niall is. remembers how heightened everything is before you get used to it, and how jarring the presence of another pack is when your senses are so bright. 

“he’s not dangerous, don’t worry. i talked to him last night and i just think he’s a little scared.” 

“whatever you say.”

“i say eggs for breakfast.”

“why do i have to make them?” niall whines. 

“because i always burn the food, and you don’t want burned and rubbery eggs this morning, do you?” niall pulls a face and louis pats his cheek encouragingly. “there’s a lad.” 

“this is slave labour,” niall informs him as he gets up, groaning as his joints pop. louis smacks his bum. 

“yep,” he says cheerfully over niall’s howl of outrage. the other two don’t even jump at the sound. 

harry stumbles in, clumsier in the mornings, when louis is cutting up the peppers and slurs a greeting as he starts the coffee. as it hums, he plasters himself to louis’ back, burying his face in louis’ neck.

“uh, harry,” louis says slowly. “i’m holding a knife.” 

“put it down then,” harry mumbles, muffled by louis’ shirt and still sounding disgruntled. 

he heaves a sigh, but harry won’t go anywhere until he’s got his morning cuddle, so louis twists to face him. harry echoes his sigh they hug, huffing breaths into his skin and wriggling. 

“m’awake now,” he says happily as he shoves louis gently away. the coffee’s done by this point--louis is sure he times it exactly right--and he pours two cups, sipping at his and bringing the other into the room. 

“strange child,” louis mutters at his back and niall laughs over the stove. 

“finished cutting the veg yet, louis?” 

“almost.” 

“hurry up, then!” 

“don’t tell me what to do, or i’ll kick you out of the pack,” louis warns, but there’s no real threat and niall giggles. sliding the peppers into the pan and snagging one to chew on, he darts out of the way of niall’s slapping hands. 

harry comes back in just as niall’s pouring the eggs into a bowl, leading a sleepy-eyed zayn by the hand. zayn slumps in his chair and louis takes pity, refilling his cup with more coffee. 

niall grabs the toast and puts the bowl on the table. there’s a thirty second scuffling match as louis and harry go for it at the same time and zayn scowls quite impressively when they jar his elbow. 

“aww, zaynie,” louis croons, poking harry in the side. “lighten up this morning.” zayn grunts in response, so obviously the best choice is to smear jam across his cheek. 

“the hell? what was that for?” zayn sputters. 

“to make you sweeter,” says louis and harry leans in to lick it off his cheek. zayn pushes him away with a grimace and he knocks over niall’s water into his lap. niall protests and hits louis in the stomach, and then it’s just all out war. 

about five minutes later, they all freeze, heads turning towards the door. 

“um,” says liam, blushing furiously. he’s hovering at the entrance to the room with his hand scrubbing at the back of his head. 

“good morning, liam!” louis says brightly from where he’s sitting in zayn’s lap with niall’s wrists captured. “oh! boys, this is liam. liam, this is harry, niall and zayn.”

they watch with wide eyes as he slips away to stand in front of liam, as encouraging of an expression as he can manage. “you can come eat with us, if you’d like. it’s just scrambled eggs on toast, but nialler got a little fancy and chopped up some veg to put in it.” 

“okay?” 

“hazza, grab another chair.” 

niall pulls out another plate and harry’s back with his desk chair in no time. he puts liam between him and zayn, because the other two are too on edge. zayn’s got a calming influence. or maybe he’s just sleepy.

he ignores the prickling that settles across his skin when liam hesitantly sits down, tamping the urge to protect his boys from another pack. niall’s fidgeting even more than normal, shooting louis uncertain glances every few seconds. 

louis slings a hand over his chair and rests it at niall’s neck, feeling a little of the tension seep out of him at the touch. 

harry, bless him, manages to keep the breakfast as close to normal as possible, chattering away and trying to draw liam into conversation. 

“are you in uni?” louis asks him quietly when harry notices the time and rushes into his room to get ready. liam shakes his head. “alright then, i’ve called off work until this evening so we can get you back home, yeah?” 

liam blanches and shakes his head again. “can’t i just stay here?” he says a little frantically. louis and zayn exchange a glance. 

“you’ve got to go back to your own pack--” 

“i don’t want to, i want to stay here.” 

“are you sure?” 

“yes, yes. and i’ll be good and listen, i promise. i won’t be a problem or be mischievous or anything.”

zayn snorts. “if you don’t want to be mischievous, you’re signing up for the wrong pack. we’re all little shits, and louis is the worst of us all.” 

“i’ll be good,” liam repeats quietly, glancing at louis. “just, please don’t make me go back.” 

“of course you can stay,” louis tells him, because what else can he say? he’s not about to let liam go back to something that terrifies him. “it’s what you want, right?” 

liam nods once, hesitantly, and his bottom lip is white from his teeth digging in. zayn reaches out and brushes it against his arm. 

“we’ve got you, yeah?” 

 

zayn lets him borrow some of his clothes, so he doesn’t have to wear the bloody, ripped up ones he had on before. he smiles bigger than louis has seen him smile yet when zayn hands over an old, soft batman hoodie. 

“i like batman a lot,” he says shyly as he burrows his hands in the pockets. 

“spiderman’s better,” louis says a little distractedly and zayn rolls his eyes, drawing liam into a conversation about comics. louis doesn’t join in, too busy thinking about if he just made a big mistake.

he’d never redone someone’s ties before; all the other boys had been lone wolves when he found them and there’d been no threat of repercussions with them. but liam… they could go looking for liam.

he makes a note to go talk to caroline and then firmly resolves not to think about it again. 

 

when niall and harry get back from their classes, they’re more relaxed. it doesn’t smell like anything but pack now. harry slips into his wolf form, like he does when he’s feeling extra cuddly, and crawls into louis’ lap to demand cuddles. niall soon does the same and fights harry for space until zayn pulls one of them over into his arms. 

feeling liam’s gaze, louis looks up into his wide eyes. 

“you can join, you know,” he says carefully and liam starts. “you don’t have to sit all by yourself over there.” 

“i don’t--” he cuts himself off, looking frustrated.

“it’s okay if you don't want to. i’m just telling you.” 

after a moment’s hesitation, he creeps closer so he’s next to zayn, their legs barely brushing. harry readjusts so his head’s on liam’s knee, tongue lolling out as he grins up at him. liam gently brushes his hand against the fur of his neck and harry’s eyes slide closed, content.

louis can feel his tail thumping against his thigh. 

 

liam’s first full moon with them is niall’s third, and louis feels a little worn thin. they get restless before the moon, over-excited and tense and tempers are a little short. zayn snaps at harry’s hand because he won’t stop pulling his tail, and louis glares at them both. 

“you two know better,” he tells them and manages to smother a grin when both of them, boy and wolf, give him identical looks of apology. 

“i’m bored,” harry whines. “is it time to go yet?” 

it’s dusk outside, dark enough that they can get away with it. he nods and harry whoops, already shedding clothes on his way to his room. zayn weaves in and out of his legs as he goes, and they hear a loud thump when he succeeds in making harry fall. 

louis laughs outright when they start arguing, harry shouting at zayn and zayn yipping back, before turning to liam.

“right, payno. two rules: don’t let the humans see you, and don’t hurt anyone. got it?”

“yeah.” 

“really really don’t hurt anyone,” niall tells him again, face serious. “that’s really important.” 

liam looks solemn as he nods. “got it. can i change now?” he asks, looking hopefully at louis. 

“don’t have to ask me, mate. as long as it’s dark outside i don’t mind.” 

“but harry--”

“harry doesn’t like being alone _ever_ and so he wants to go when i go.” liam looks a little lost so louis pulls him in for a hug, pretending he doesn’t feel him stiffen. “be back by dawn.” 

liam doesn’t go off by himself. none of them do, really, except for maybe zayn on his quiet days. it’s too much fun to chase each other around the woods behind their house, playing variations of tag and wrestling in the dirt. 

when everyone’s worn out enough, the moonlust settled a little in their blood, they all collapse together in a pile and sleep, paws and tails and noses tangled together and feeling a lot like safety. 

//

nick is different for a lot of reasons, and the biggest is that he finds louis instead of the other way around. 

// 

“i made a new friend,” harry announces, heels banging against the bottom of the bar. 

“wonderful. do you want a cookie?” 

harry sits up, brightening. “ooh, yes! do you have any?”

“i was joking, and you’re the one that works in a bakery. you bring me one.” 

“could do,” he muses and gets lost in his thoughts for a second before coming back. “anyway, i made a friend. i just made some teacakes-- you know, the little ones. they were lemon this time, and for a little girl’s birthday. i think she’s having a tea party because she’s turning five, but that might also be the girl who ordered scones--”

“harry, please,” louis says with a sigh because if he lets him, harry will ramble until the night crowd comes in and still not have gotten to the point. 

“oh sorry. he comes in when i’m finishing with the teacakes and says that someone told him we have the best bread in the city,” he says proudly and louis leans over the bar to tug on one of his curls. 

“you’re getting a big head.” 

“my head is fine, thank you very much. so i told him that it was true--cos it is--and he said that he’d be the judge of that. i gave him the ones with poppy seeds and he liked it and reckoned it might be true, but he’d have to try everything first.”

“great story, harry.” 

“thank you!” he answers happily, not acknowledging the sarcasm. louis rolls his eyes. “his name’s nick and he’s from the north like you. not yorkshire, though. i asked.” 

“you’re ridiculous.” 

harry snorts and goes back to carefully shredding a serviette.

 

he meets nick when he’s picking up harry from his job one afternoon, and there’s someone else giggling in the bakery with him. 

harry lights up when he walks in, beaming. “hi louis!” he calls, taking off his apron and running a hand through his hair. a great cloud of flour dust escapes as he does. “how was your day?” 

“could’ve been better.” 

“want a scone?” 

louis takes the pastry and bites into it, turning to evaluate the stranger leaning on the counter. 

“sorry, who are you?” 

the man sticks out his hand and rolls his eyes when louis just looks at it. “i’m nick grimshaw.” 

“sorry?”

“harry’s new mate.” 

louis frowns a little, shrugging one shoulder. “doesn’t ring a bell.” 

“don’t tease, lou. i told you about him, remember?” 

“maybe,” he allows, if only to erase the disappointed look from harry’s face. “what are you doing here, then?” 

“enjoying freshly baked goods?” 

“not what i meant, mate.” 

nick grins because he knows exactly what he’s doing and waves a hand. “little bit of this and that. i get itchy when i stay in one place too long, and felt like it was time to move.” 

“how poetic.” 

“not really. m’not too good at poetry. it’s too vague and shit. i prefer music cause then at least you get the _tone_ of it all, y’know? you know when to start.” 

“what’s your favourite music, then?” 

“beyonce,” he says promptly and louis blinks. 

“not like… wailing whales or some other shit like that?” he asks before he can stop himself and then winces. harry thumps him on the back of the head. 

“don’t make fun of my music,” he tells him sternly and hands him a scone.

“i like that too, but like, nothing can top _beyonce_.” 

“fair enough.” 

“or like, dr. dre.”

“not sure if i agree with that one.”

“what do you listen to? stone roses or summat?” 

“yes,” louis says shortly, tugging on the hem of his shirt. “ready, h?”

harry taps something on the computer and vaults over the counter, giving nick a hug. 

“bye grimmy!” he calls, waving as they leave the bakery. he waits until they’re safely down the street before tucking his arm through louis’. “he’s nice, yeah?”

louis hums noncommittally. “bit pretentious, isn’t he?” 

“i think he was trying to impress you.” 

“you have some strange ideas, harry.” 

 

“where’s zayn?” liam asks, pausing in front of the sofa and surveying the pile. niall and louis are watching _x-factor_ , and harry’s pretending he’s interested. louis thinks he’s actually texting someone. nick, maybe.

“he wanted some space,” niall says with his eyes still fixed on the television. 

“is he alright?” 

“yeah, it’s just too…” louis waves his hand around like it explains everything. liam frowns. “much.” 

the sense of people all around sometimes got too overpowering for zayn; he needed to not be in constant reach of another body for a few hours. find some serenity. 

liam’s frown gets deeper and he’s out of the room before louis can stop him. zayn’ll send him away. 

but liam doesn’t come back and louis untangles himself, his curiosity getting the best of him. peeking his head in the door, he sees zayn reading on the bed with liam tucked into his side, just breathing. 

he’s good for zayn, louis realises. liam’s able to be quiet in a way that none of the others could be-- too fidgety and wild and bubbly all the time. liam’s steady, like zayn’s steady, and it’s good. he creeps back out into the living room. 

“pot noodles for dinner?” 

the pair on the sofa groan but neither makes a move towards the kitchen, so louis’ cooking it is. 

 

normally, louis doesn’t wake up when one of the boys crawls in bed with him, it happens too frequently to wake him up, but this time he’s startled awake. it’s niall beside him, carefully angled away so louis won’t be bothered by his shaking. louis is alert instantly. 

“what’s the matter.” 

“nightmare,” niall whispers, sounding ragged. his hand’s clamped over his hip, the one with the bite marks on it. 

“about the attack?” louis guesses and niall nods, another shiver going through his body. “did you remember anything this time?” 

“no, it’s the same.” 

“that’s okay, love, it’s not a problem. enough of that shaking. c’mere.” niall gladly folds himself into louis side, and louis does his best to wrap his body completely around the other boy. he rubs at his back and waits for him to calm down. 

he does, and then his breathing goes long and deep. louis waits a few more minutes, just in case, and then falls asleep himself, still hugging niall. 

they’re alone in bed in the morning, which is a surprise in of itself, but liam’s curled up in the armchair in the corner. louis would expect harry, or maybe zayn, but not liam. 

niall sighs when he he’s left alone, but he stays asleep. liam doesn’t, his eyes cracking open to peer at louis, and then getting up to follow him. 

“is niall okay?”

“good morning to you too,” louis says around a yawn and liam shrugs. “yeah, he’s alright now.” 

“what’s wrong?”

“he gets nightmares about his, uh, bite.” 

liam frowns, looking perplexed. “was it a traumatic bite?”

“nice word, traumatic,” he says distractedly, ruffling with his hair. “we think so. don’t really know cos niall can’t remember.”

“what? he can’t _remember?_ ”

“nope.”

“what can’t he remember?” 

louis squints into the forest and then collapses on the couch, bringing liam with him for a snuggle. “the bite, and maybe a month before that? it’s a little uncertain, but that’s what zayn thinks.” 

“what are niall’s nightmares about?” 

“he can’t remember those either, just kind of wakes up terrified. caroline’s doing some research, but we can’t do anything about it.” 

“that’s awful.” 

“he was in almost worse shape than you, when we found him. hip nearly torn open.”

“talking about me again?” niall asks as he shuffles into the room. “telling my secrets.” 

“sorry nialler,” louis says with an apologetic smile, looping an arm around niall’s neck for a hug. liam crowds in too, wrapping his arms around niall’s waist and dropping his head on his shoulder. 

“s’alright,” he says easily and they know he’s not mad.

 

“so, do you come here often?” 

louis arches an eyebrow. “pick up lines, grimshaw? and that one’s about as unoriginal as you can get.” 

“maybe i was really wondering.” 

“i work here,” louis says slowly, a smile starting to creep across his face. there’s just enough light for him to catch the flush that’s on nick’s cheeks. 

“i’m making an arse of myself.” 

“a little bit, yeah.” 

nick plays with a little piece of straw wrapper that’s left on the counter. 

“harry talks about you a lot,” he says, smiling to himself and then glances at louis. “is there anything, like, going on…” 

“little young for you to date,” he replies and his voice is sharper than he wanted it to be. it’s just, it’s _harry,_ and he’ll always be that bright sixteen year old in louis’ head, no matter his age. 

nick looks vaguely affronted. “don’t really want to date him, mate.” 

“or fuck.” 

“honestly,” nick says, annoyed. “he’s just a friend, alright? i’m not trying to seduce your boyfriend or what _ever_ away from you.” 

“he’s not my boyfriend.” 

“he follows you around like a puppy.” 

louis chokes on a giggle because that’s a little too accurate. 

“like a puppy,” he manages to echo and nick cocks his head to the side. 

“want to share what’s so funny with the class?” 

“just the fact that you thought something was going on between me and harry. we’re housemates, and he’s like my brother. again, why do you care?” 

nick shrugs. “no reason.” but louis can hear the slight kick in his heartbeat that means he’s lying. he doesn’t know nick well enough to call him out on it, so he lets the matter go. 

“where _is_ harry?” 

“playing pool. i think liam’s with him.” 

“good boys,” louis mutters, mostly to himself. nick catches his eye and grins. louis most definitely does not turn a little pink. 

“so what does it take to get a drink in here? very lazy service.”

“twat,” he says but it’s fonder than he means it to be. nick doesn’t look too insulted. 

“jack and coke, love.” 

he ignores the endearment, and the tiny smile on his lips when he hears it. 

 

“so,” zayn says. “what’ up with you and grimmy?” 

louis winces and winces harder when harry’s head whips around. 

“what did you just say?” 

“nick’s infatuated with louis, haven’t you noticed?”

“he’s not!” they say together, harry in amazement and louis in exasperation. 

“i don’t know if that would work,” harry continues and niall sits down at his feet. frowning a little, harry plays with his hair. “he’s too tall for you.” 

“it’s a good thing it’s all in zayn’s head, then,” he says airly, slapping a hand over zayn’s mouth before he can argue.

“too bad you’re just as infatuated with nick,” says liam.

louis narrows his eyes at him and points a threatening finger. “i trusted you.” 

“you blush when he compliments you, i’ve seen it,” liam says with a shrug. louis snorts in outrage as harry raises his eyebrow.

“i’ve talked to him maybe ten times.” 

liam grins at him. “you flirted the entire conversation.” 

“i can’t believe this,” louis complains to the general public. “is this what betrayal feels like? and from my own pack? i’m filing for a new one.” 

“i don’t think it works like that,” niall tells him, but his brow’s furrowed like he’s not sure. and oh, that reminds louis to teach him some more about being a werewolf; the boy’s shockingly ignorant. not his fault, though.

zayn bites the palm of the hand that’s still clamped over his mouth and louis retracts it with a glare. “that hurt.” 

“good, it was supposed to.” 

“dick.”

zayn sticks out his tongue so the only logical explanation is for louis to change and lunge at him, snapping playfully. zayn manages to switch mid-flip, which is impressive but he’s always had the most control over his changes. they roll on the floor, growling and knocking into the furniture. 

“don’t break anything!” liam calls and louis spares a moment to roll his eyes in his direction. liam changes then and starts gently maneuvering them in the direction of outside. 

“you both are idiots,” niall yells at them. harry just laughs, and tugs his hands through niall’s hair some more. 

 

louis is just finishing his shift when he’s hit with a wave of fear. not his, it’s too sharp to be his own, but it’s everywhere. it feels like liam and it feels desperate, and then louis starts to run. 

he’s not sure if it’s an alpha thing or just a werewolf thing that makes him be able to pinpoint exactly where it’s coming from, but he does. senses heightened because _dangerdangerdanger_ , he can hear the other three racing to the same place. where liam is. 

their fifth member is on the ground and louis is forcibly hit with the memory of finding him the first time, battered and bruised and smelling like other. 

it’s exactly the same this time, and he wrinkles his nose at the scent. it’s all over liam, strong and pungent and making his hair rise up. 

liam’s whimpering on the ground, flashing between wolf and human like he can’t decide which one is the least painful. his right side’s black and blue, and his arm’s bent at a weird angle. louis can’t carry him out in public if he’s doing this, can’t put the entire pack in jeopardy. 

“hey hey hey,” louis soothes as calmly as he can, kneeling down and trying to put his hand somewhere where it won’t hurt. “liam, hey.” 

he’s blurry at the edges from the shifting and louis catches his jaw to meet his gaze. 

“liam,” he says again and there’s just enough authority behind it to make liam still. “choose one. i know you’re in pain, but you need to choose one and stay there.” 

louis can feel him settle into his human form and yeah, that’ll be best. “there’s a lad,” he murmurs.

“hurts,” gasps liam, and he’s trembling and still whimpering. 

“i know, i know. we’re going to get you to caroline, okay?”

“louis,” he cries and louis’ heart breaks with the sound. liam’s in shock and he’s not entirely sure it’s just from the pain. 

zayn skids to a stop next to them, harry on his heels and niall a few steps back. 

“niall, stand guard,” louis orders and niall nods, pale, to watch at the entrance of the alley. “zayn--” 

“on it,” he says fiercely, a dangerous glint to his eyes. louis sighs.

“just information, don’t hurt anyone.” 

he grunts, displeased, but he’s gone after brushing his lips along liam’s temple. 

“alright hazza. we’ve got to get him to caroline. liam, this might hurt but she’s only a few streets over.” 

harry scoops him up, almost easily, and louis is impressed despite himself. “where?” 

“out and to the right. uh, do you need help?”

“not unless we hurry,” he says grimly. caroline’s is just two streets down, a stroke of luck really, because any farther would’ve been too much. she’s there, thank god, and her eyes go wide when they come in the door. 

“tomlinson, what’s wrong?”

“liam was attacked, we think.” 

he’s flickering again now that they’re in safety, and harry looks like he’s about to vomit or cry. 

“harry,” louis says quietly when caroline leans over liam. “harry, you’re okay.” 

“liam’s not,” harry says in between breaths. 

“he will be. he’s safe now, yeah? go outside with niall and breathe.” 

“yeah.” it’s faint, but he’ll be okay with niall.

“okay, okay,” says caroline after a minute of inspection. her face is pinched with worry, an expression louis is sure is mirrored onto his own. 

“why does he keep switching,” he asks frantically. “he should-- he should be healed enough to not be switching--”

“it’s not the physical damage that’s making him do it. they messed with his head somehow, i’m not sure-- probably tried to pull on his past ties?” 

“he’s not part of that pack, though, not anymore.” 

“they could pull on the old ones, the remnants. do you know which pack?” 

“no.” louis shakes his head. “liam didn’t like talking about it, so we just left it. zayn’s trying to track them down now, though. but why did they-- they beat him up and just _left_ him there.” 

“some alphas are possessive, don’t like to lose people.” 

“it was his _choice_.” 

“hey,” caroline says, as calmly as possible. “i know, yeah? i know it was his choice and he chose you lot, but he’s just property to this alpha. now, i’ll keep him here for the rest of the night, just to make sure he’s okay. you take everyone else and go _home._ they’re all tense and it’s not helping.” 

“okay,” louis says after a minute. “yeah.” 

he backs out of the shop and straight into where niall and harry stand, looking extremely stressed. 

“louis, is he okay? is liam okay?” niall asks, voice pitched high with worry. louis looks at him, bites at his lip, and wonders exactly how he got to be the one they all turn to when they’re scared. he’s scared too, doesn’t know what to _do_ except go sit under a bunch of blankets with a cup of tea. 

“um, i think so. he’s staying the night with caroline, just to make sure.” the boys glance at each other, and then at him again. “go back to the house and meet me there. i’m going to tell james i’m not coming in tonight and then i’ll be there too. if you see zayn, drag him along.” 

they nod and louis gives them a gentle shove in the direction of home. 

“louis,” someone says right as he’s turning into the bar, catching his elbow. he jumps and whirls around. 

“oh. nick.” 

“were you about to punch me?” 

“yeah, uh. it’s been a strange day. a really strange day.” 

“is everything alright? harry wouldn’t tell me anything except that liam was hurt.” 

“he’s fine,” louis says but it sounds weak even to him. he forces out a smile so nick won’t worry and steps a little closer. “just a little woozy. we took him to the doctor’s just to see; they’re keeping him there tonight.” 

“oh god,” says nick, aghast. “do you need anything? can i help at all?” 

louis is on edge, the ties that let him know when someone are in danger are still live and vibrating. none of them are at their best when pack is hurt and he can _feel_ niall and harry and zayn’s anxiousness. he needs to get home. 

“i think we’re alright.” 

“you sure? i can bring food or summat.” 

louis throws him a smile over his shoulder, a distracted one, and waves as he goes in the pub. “okay, maybe. talk to you later.” 

the door swings closed before louis catches his reply and then the encounter’s out of his head. he’s too focused on finding his boss and signing out. 

they’re not happy, but he says it’s an emergency and well. james is too nice to do anything but shoo him away with a quip about slacking.

he doesn’t think he’s gotten home so quick in his life. niall’s fiddling in the kitchen, usually he’s graceful but today he lets out little swears as he drops plates and bangs into the counter. harry’s at the table with his keen eyes on niall, flinching every time he speaks. 

“oi oi,” he announces and they both jump. “is zayn back?” 

“i think he’s in his room,” harry drawls, brows furrowed. niall nods. it’s almost normal. 

except the tension’s so tangible, it’s almost another person in the room, and they’re all restless. harry’s shoulders are slumped forward and louis steps closer to dig his thumbs into the muscle. harry lets out a small huff, shifting so more of his back is presented to louis, and resting his elbows on his knees. 

“you’re my favourite.” 

“aren’t i always?” 

“mmm,” murmurs harry. he sounds drowsy. “most of the time it’s niall. or zayn. or liam. or nick. anybody but you, really.” 

“it’s a good thing i don’t like you.” 

harry chuckles at that, thick like honey, and goes pliant under louis’ hands. niall’s moving smoother in the kitchen now. 

“what are you making, nialler?”

“fajitas, i think.” 

“you think?” says harry and they don’t need to see his face to know he’s smiling. “shouldn’t you know what you’re making before you make it?”

“fuck off.” 

“aw, don’t be like that.” 

niall sighs and nudges at harry’s shoulder so he sits up, stands in between his knees and lets harry hug him round the waist. 

louis looks up to catch zayn’s eye as he slips into the room, a soft smile looking out of place with the draw of his eyebrows. 

“did you find anything?” 

he lifts a shoulder and drops it. “a little. later, yeah?’ 

“yeah.” 

zayn comes up and hooks his chin over niall’s shoulder, laughing a bit when niall squirms away from his scratchy cheek. “baby face,” he says affectionately and easily dodges the elbow niall tries to drive into his stomach. 

“stop moving,” harry complains with his face buried in niall’s tummy. that makes niall laugh, and louis after him. pulling away with a glare, harry settles back in his chair and pouts. “weren’t you frying chicken, niall?”

niall rushes back to the stove with a muffled _fuck_. 

 

when liam gets home, he’s pale and swaying. harry hears him first and jumps up, the rest on their feet just as quickly. zayn’s got an arm curled around him and they slowly walk through the door. 

“liam,” niall says, a little helplessly, and liam tries to smile. 

“hiya.” 

harry takes off towards him and skids to a stop just in front of him. he makes an aborted movement, like he was going to hug liam, but his arms stay at his sides. 

“we missed you.” 

“your hair’s gotten bigger,” is what liam answers. harry grins and liam pulls him in for a hug. it breaks the spell and louis and niall are suddenly there as well, gently surrounding liam and zayn. 

they migrate to the lounge but stay within arms reach of each other. liam’s tucked securely in the middle of the couch and they carefully fill in the spaces around him, the telly running in the background.

louis shakes himself awake sometime late and finds himself uncomfortably cramped. they boys are at awkward angles, fast asleep. 

“c’mon lads,” he murmurs, pushing his hands through first liam’s hair and then niall’s. “you won’t like this in the morning.” 

“c’n i sleep with you?” niall asks groggily.

“course,” he answers and he’s not surprised when they all five end up in his bed. it’s the reason it’s the biggest, after all.

 

“hey,” says nick one afternoon, catching him coming out of a cafe with a tea clutched in his hand. “do you like records?” 

louis blearily squints up at him. “uh, no?” 

“oh.” he deflates a little and stuffs his hands into his pockets. “i just… there’s this tiny record shop that i found and i was wondering if you’d like to come along?” 

“why?” louis asks and instantly cringes at the harshness. he might not be fully awake yet. nick’s face falls. 

“cos i thought you might like it, or might like making fun of me or summat.” 

louis hums for a bit and takes a sip of his tea. “yeah, okay.” 

“what?” 

“i want to go. sorry, i was just short because i’ve just woken up, but i’d love to go.”

“really?” nick says, lighting up again. “are you free now?” 

he checks his watch and nods. nick beams and bounces a little on his toes. it’s quite adorable-- not that he would tell him that-- and louis grins back at him. 

“where is it, then?” 

nick wraps a hand around his wrist and practically drags him to a little tiny corner shop. it’s dark and dusty, and louis sneezes at least three times while nick smirks at him. there are piles upon piles of records stacked on tables. nick lets out a little sigh when his fingers touch the first one, trailing over the cover like it’s a lost friend. 

“you love this, don’t you?”

“mm,” says nick distractedly. “oh, look what i found!” he holds up a sleeve with truly awful cover and a band louis has never heard of.

“is that supposed to impress me?” 

“i’ve been looking for this for _ages._ ”

“pretentious prick,” he snorts and nick doesn’t pay him any mind, just goes back to thumbing through the music. louis joins after a moment of watching, and smiles at all the variety. “do you do this for fun?” 

“sometimes. i need more music, honestly.” 

“beyonce get a little too boring for you?” 

“never,” nick vows, nudging louis’ arm. “i just like a lot of options. i don’t like being trapped.” 

“and you’d get trapped in one genre?” 

“i guess, yeah,” he says, rubbing at the back of his hair. louis rolls his eyes and smiles at him. 

“you’re so fucking strange.” 

“whatever. what do you like listening to, then?” 

“james bay, i guess. other little bands. i like to find, like, covers online and listen to them. or gabrielle aplin.” 

“and you call _me_ a hipster prick. you’re worse than i am. i like taylor swift, and ed sheeran and all that and here you are listening to youtube covers.” 

“that’s bullshite.” 

“whatever you say, tomlinson.” nick puts down his record and brushes off his hand. “right, i’m peckish. want to get some lunch-- i saw a fish and chips store down the road.” 

“can you even eat grease? i thought you were one of those healthy people who like goes off refined sugar or summat.” 

“i’ve honestly no idea where that came from. have you seen the sixteen spoons of sugar i put in my tea?”

“ _sixteen?!”_

“alright, maybe that was an exaggeration. it’s only three.” 

“but still,” louis says with a look of mild disgust. “it’s still putting sugar in tea which is awful. but yeah, i’d love to get lunch.” 

“sick,” says nick with a grin. louis pushes back his fringe with a hand and grins back. “whoa, what happened?” nick asks, catching louis’ wrist. he turns it over, tracing the silvery lines that crease it. “wait, are these scars? fuck, lou, what happened?”

louis hesitates and tugs his hand back, sticking it in his pocket. 

“s’nothing.” 

“it’s not nothing, it looks like you’re a magnet for paper cuts or summat.” 

it’s bites actually, wolf ones. they heal slower than other injuries--they’ve never figured out _why_ but zayn reckons it has to do with dna or something-- and the moon always makes the boys a little less careful. niall had been too enthusiastic in his playing, or maybe liam, or harry, or even zayn. but he can’t very well tell that to nick. 

“they’re not scars,” louis says with a stroke of genius. “it’s, um, like some sort of paint. zayn did an art project thing on me hand and it wouldn’t come off.” 

“really?” nick murmurs, unconvinced. 

“yeah,” replies louis as flippantly as he can. “dick can’t paint his own hand, or liam’s. it’s got to be mine.” 

“well, they’re very nice hands.” 

“oh. um. thank you,” he says, inexplicably blushing. nick clears his throat a little awkwardly and fiddles with the zip on his coat. 

lunch is nice, and louis laughs a lot, but there’s a lump in his throat when he starts to walk home. it’s just-- nick’s human, and louis is not. not entirely. and nick can’t know about the not-human part of louis, can’t know why louis disappears every few weeks when the moon is full or that he sometimes likes to nap as a wolf. 

not to mention he’s responsible for four other boys, like properly responsible. he has to keep track of other packs in the area, and make sure no one’s hurt, and make sure they’re fed, and all that. 

louis’ chest aches a little bit.

“hey, you alright?” nick whispers. 

“yeah, m’fine,” he says around a bite of his food. “tired.” 

nick doesn’t look convinced, again, and the ache in louis’ chest gets a little stronger. 

 

zayn tells him that the person who attacked liam was indeed from the other pack. 

“their alpha has a reputation,” he says with a creased forehead, looking worried and pissed and furious all at once, “for being brutal. a tyrant.” 

“that’s not good.” 

“no, it isn’t.”

“we can’t do anything, can we?” 

zayn shakes his head. he’s smarter at this, at the politics of it all. it’s enough to get louis’ head swimming and he hasn’t paid much attention, but zayn has. he’s the best, really. 

“you’re wonderful, love you,” he tells him and zayn flushes a little with pride. “how’s liam?” 

“better. he’s… better. i’m worried.” 

“he’s acting like normal, yeah? like he hasn’t been through something awful--” 

“he doesn’t like the attention,” zayn interrupts. “he thinks we’re babying him or summat.”

“that’s ridiculous.” 

“don’t have to tell me that, mate.” 

louis pulls liam into his lap that night, petting his fur very, very lightly. liam tips his head enough to look at him and manages to raise an eyebrow, even as a wolf. 

“you were hurt,” louis tells him primly. “i’m being careful.” 

liam rolls his eyes and nips at louis’ fingers, enough to pinch. 

“dick,” he mutters and shoves him off his lap. giving him a wounded look, liam picks himself up and lopes over to zayn instead. “oh so _he’s_ allowed to be gentle?” 

“i’m always gentle,” zayn says smugly. 

“that’s a bloody lie.” 

zayn grins, unbothered, and bends to kiss the top of liam’s head. 

 

“oi,” nick says, leaning over the bar so he can be heard over the noise. “i don’t have your number.” 

“what a lack of foresight on your part,” louis deadpans. 

“i realised that night liam got hurt. i was going to ring you and see if you wanted me to bring a meal over--” 

“wait, you were actually going to bring us food?” 

nick frowns. “um. yeah?” 

“i thought you were taking the piss.” 

he gets an unimpressed look for that comment. “i was _trying_ to be a help, but like i said i didn’t have your number and harry wasn’t picking up.” 

“is there a point to this long and uninteresting story?” louis asks in a lofty tone and nick rolls his eyes. 

“give me your number, tomlinson.”

“ooh, assertive. i’m not sure if i like that in a man.” 

“you are _so_ full of shit.” 

“it’s all part of my charm, grimshaw.” 

“you don’t have charm,” he tells louis and manages to nick his phone from his pocket. grimshaw and his fucking long arms. “you have an acerbic wit and a pretty face.” 

“aww, grimmy,” louis coos, enjoying this entirely too much to be bothered that nick’s currently programming his number in. “you think i’m pretty.” 

“don’t forget the ‘full of shit’ part.” he hands the phone back. “there. now i can contact you.” 

“no naughty texts before noon, please,” he says with a wink and the tips of nick’s ears go red. 

“wasn’t planning on sending texts.” 

“voicemails, then.” 

“honestly, fuck you.”

“can’t do that either,” he says with a wide grin. nick makes it so easy. groaning, nick drops his head onto the countertop and sighs very loudly.

“you’re insufferable, you are.”

“you could always leave,” louis says and ignores the way his stomach twists at the thought. nick lifts his head to peer at him for a moment, then grins. 

“nah, don't think i will actually.”

louis grins back before catching himself and tossing a rag at his face. 

“might as well make yourself useful, if you're going to stay, and clean up the counter. who knows where your nasty hair’s been.”

“my hair is not nasty, thank you very much, and it’s certainly cleaner than your filthy counter.” he wrinkles his nose. “pretty sure i laid in something sticky.”

“it's a pub, nicholas. everything is sticky. it's part of the aesthetic.”

“or just straight laziness from the bartenders. have you been slacking on your job again?”

“oi, fuck off.”

nick laughs and raises his cup to drain it. “another?”

“you're lucky you're cute,” he grumbles and flushes when he realises, quickly glancing over to see if nick heard. he's staring at something in the distance, so probably not, and louis breathes in relief. 

nick stays around the entire evening, to his surprise, even when james comes up with an apologetic look and asks if louis can work until closing. someone hadn’t shown up-- _again--_ and he considers for about a minute before nodding. they could use the money. 

it’s nearly four before he’s all done, and he’s dead on his feet. nick gives him a sympathetic smile, tired as well, and leans against the wall as louis locks the door. 

“hey,” he says suddenly and it makes louis jump. “i live not too far away.” 

“...okay?” 

“you could come stay with me.” 

louis squints up at him. “are you trying to get in my pants, grimshaw? cos i’m pretty sure i would just fall asleep in the middle of shagging, honestly.” 

“are you doubting how good i am in bed?” 

louis shrugs. “if the shoe fits.” 

rolling his eyes, nick stuffs his hands into his jacket pocket and laughs a little. “don’t be daft, tomlinson. i just thought you’d appreciate crashing at my place instead of trekking all the way home, but if you don’t want to, you don’t have to.”

he thinks about it, because it is an awfully long way home for four in the morning. he’s really really tired and really really just wants to lie down on the ground to sleep. 

“no funny business?” 

nick rolls his eyes again. “none. we’ll have to sleep in the same bed, though. i don’t have a spare room and my sofa’s a bit shit, i’m afraid.” 

“yeah, okay. can you carry me?” 

“not a bloody chance.” 

“alright. thought i’d try. lead the way, nicholas!” nick chuckles as they walk ten minutes to a complex a few streets over. it’s a little squat and a little grey, but nice enough once they get inside. 

“do you live by yourself?” louis asks around a yawn and watches nick smother a smile. 

“um…” he says as the door swings open and they’re greeted by a very enthusiastic dog. nick closes the door, throwing his keys onto a table. “yeah. except for her; her name’s pig.” 

“that’s a stupid name.” 

“don’t care.” 

louis bends down and offers his hand for her to sniff. she does, ducking her head and not making eye contact. 

“good girl,” he murmurs and she seems to get the hint, flopping on her back so he can pet her belly. 

“she likes you.” 

“yeah, well.” she can smell the alpha on him, probably. smell the wolf and how louis is similar to her, in some ways. “it’d probably be a different story if she was a cat.”

“not a cat person then?”

“no, i like them. they just… don’t like me.” he yawns again and stands up, stretching out his back. nick pokes him in the side when his hands are in the air. 

“c’mon, i’m going to sleep. i’m knackered. d’you want to borrow a shirt or something to sleep in or summat?” 

“that’d be ace.” he takes the one nick hands him, and the joggers too, and makes his way to the bathroom to change. they’re both too big, the joggers noticeably so, and he rolls the cuffs up a few times so he won’t trip. the shirt is nice and soft, faded with age and smells clean. maybe he’ll steal it tomorrow. 

nick’s sitting on the bed when louis comes out, frowning at his phone. 

“you can pick whatever side, i don’t mind,” he says a little distractedly and makes his way to the bathroom as well. louis climbs in on the other side and nearly falls asleep right away. 

“you could’ve turned off the light, you know,” he says and louis cracks his eyes open to look at him. he’s got glasses perched on his nose and his hair’s all soft where he’d run his hands through it. he’s sort of beautiful. not that he’d say it out loud. 

“too lazy,” he hums drowsily and nick grunts as he flips the switch, feeling his way to bed. “this is a bit like a sleepover.” 

“we’re not going to chat about boys, tomlinson. i’m not a bloody teenager again.” 

“truth or dare?” he giggles into the pillow and nick heaves a sigh. 

“you’re a _child._ ”

“shhh,” he mumbles, patting at nick’s face. “m’tired.” 

“you started it,” nick says as he removes louis’ hand, but he falls silent and louis drifts off into sleep. 

 

louis wakes up wrapped around nick. it's habit, cultivated after years of living with harry and zayn who had no sense of personal space, especially while sleeping. 

“you're bloody _boiling_ ,” nick croaks, half-heartedly squirming away and throwing off the duvet. louis hums and digs his chin into nick’s arm. 

“i know,” he says cheerfully and nick snorts. 

“twat.”

“wanker,” he replies easily. nick tugs at the already-stretched collar of his shirt and louis catches a flash of gold. “necklaces? isn’t that a bit hipster-y?” 

“oi, they’re nice,” nick protests. “family heirlooms and shit.” 

“really?”

“this one, yeah,” he says as he pulls out a silver one with an intricate cross. “it’s from my nan. to ward off vampires or evil or summat, according to her.” 

“vampires aren’t real, nicholas.” werewolves, on the other hand…

“but if they _were_ , this would protect me.” 

“says your _nan,_ ” louis says doubtfully, poking at the charm nick’s got dangling from his fingers so it swings back and forth. 

“she’s pretty fierce, my nan. i once saw her take out a spider the size of scotland.” 

“i find that highly unlikely.” 

“alright, so it was the size of a dinner plate. but still, it was ginormous.” 

louis rolls his eyes and nick drops the chain. “whatever. so tell me. does this come with breakfast?”

nick hums, stretching his long, long legs out. holy shit, his legs are long. louis blinks a little and shakes his head, getting that out of his head. 

“could do. cereal maybe, i think that's all i have.”

oh right. they were talking about food. “sick. as long as it's not some granola shit.”

“ummmmm…” nick drawls and grins when louis groans. “nah, i think i’ve got cornflakes or coco pops or summat.”

louis stretches out on the bed too, pointing his toes and yawning. “what, no breakfast in bed? shit service, i think i’d give it a five.” 

“out of ten?” 

he considers for a moment. “out of a million.” 

“c’mon you lazy lump. i think i can even find you a cuppa, if you’re nice.” 

louis laughs as he throws his legs over the side of the bed and stands. “for that i might give you a five and a half. or even a six, if it’s really good.”

they go into the kitchen where nick pulls out two matching bowls, two mismatching cups, the cereal and the milk. he sets them on the counter and waves his hand. 

“have at it,” he says, turning to poke at the coffee machine. “your tea’ll be done in a mo’, unless you’d prefer coffee. then it’ll take a little while.” 

he pulls a face. “i’ll take the tea.”

“figured.” 

louis pours himself a mix of both cereals after briefly glancing at the boxes, ignoring nick’s disgusted expression. nick fills both cups and slides in the seat next to louis, pouring his own bowl of cornflakes. 

they chew in silence, and it should be weird but it’s really not. it’s comfortable, with their elbows brushing, and louis’ feet kicking under the table. 

“do you think pumpkin juice would be any good?” louis muses as he swallows his tea, staring at the gourds nick has as kitchen decorations.

“wait, what? pumpkin juice? where did that come from?” nick says with an amused look, a curious eyebrow quirked in louis’ direction. 

“y’know, like in _harry potter._ ”

“they drink pumpkin juice in _harry potter?”_

“yeah, at hogwarts. don’t you remember?” 

“wouldn’t know, i haven’t seen _harry potter._ ” 

louis whips his head around to stare at him. “what did you just say?” 

looking mildly concerned, nick shrugs a shoulder. “i haven’t seen _harry potter?_ ” 

“how have you not seen it? everyone’s seen it, except for like, hermits or summat. nicholas fucking grimshaw, are you a hermit?”

“okay, one,” nick holds up a finger and glowers at him, “my middle name is peter, not _fucking_ , and two, i’m not a bloody hermit. i just don’t like watching films.” 

“we’re going to watch them,” louis insists and nick sighs. “you can’t go through life without watching _harry potter._ ”

“can do.” 

“can’t!” 

“well, how many are there?” 

“eight.’ 

“ _eight!_ i’m not watching all of those.” 

“if we’re to be friends, nicholas _fucking_ grimshaw, then you’re going to have to have watched at least one. preferably all, but i’ll accept one.” 

“how kind of you,” nick says in a wry voice and louis inclines his head gravely. 

“i have been told i’m a gracious spirit.” 

“you’re mental, is what they meant to say.” he heaves a sigh and pours himself some more coffee. “alright then, if we’re going to watch this, then we might as well start now.” 

louis lets out a whoop as nick goes for his laptop and pulls up the first one. they watch it in nick’s bed, because it’s comfortable, and nick insists.

“if i’m going to sleep through a film, i want to be nice and comfy.” 

“you’re not going to sleep through it, you’re not allowed, but alright.” 

“films are boring, though,” he whines and gets an elbow to his side for the trouble. 

“hush, you’re going to miss the best part.” 

they end up watching the first three, not because nick wanted to but because louis managed to win all games of rock paper scissors that let him decide what to do next. 

 

the house is strangely quiet when louis comes back in, and he can feel his hackles rising. something’s wrong.

“hello?” he says, not shouting but not quietly either, and harry calls in from the living room. he’s sitting on the sofa with his hands in liam’s fur, zayn curled up and restless beside him. harry’s eyes are rimmed red and he’s fidgety. louis stops and raises an eyebrow. the boys all look at him, a little desperately. 

“what’s going on?” 

“niall bit someone,” zayn tells him, tone flat. 

“he _what?!”_

“he didn’t mean to,” harry says miserably. “there was a stranger out in the woods and he found us and niall got frightened. he just snapped, not like bad or anything, and the guy was fine--” 

“where is niall now?” 

“in his room. he hasn’t come out and we couldn’t reach you. where _were_ you, louis?”

“i--” he swallows and shakes his head. “i’ll tell you later.” he drops his jacket on the sofa and practically runs to the room niall shares with liam. 

it’s dark, the lights are all off and for a split second, louis thinks it’s empty until he hears a sound. 

“nialler?” he says, dropping to his knees to peer under the bed. it takes a moment for his eyes to adjust and then he spots a smear of yellow fur and two eyes blinking back at him. “niall,” he breathes out and reaches out his hand. the wolf whimpers a little and scoots back, pressing his spine closer to the wall. 

“hey now, don’t do that. c’mon, i’m not upset. you’re upset, though and we can’t have that.” 

niall whines quietly and begins to shuffle forward. it’s slow in the small space, and louis sighs in relief. he wouldn’t have been able to climb under there as a human. slightly dusty, niall creeps out and sits cautiously in front of louis, head ducked and avoiding eye contact.

louis buries his hand in the soft fur around his neck, ignoring the little flinch niall gives when he does, and pets him until he’s a little less tense. 

“you didn’t mean to bite him, did you?” he asks quietly. “you just got scared. it’s alright, harry told me. and it’s not the full moon, so he won’t turn into a werewolf and really you didn’t do anything but scare him.”

niall closes his eyes and hunches his back a bit more, closer to the ground. it breaks louis’ heart a little. he closes his eyes too, for a second. 

“i’m sorry,” he whispers and it’s sort of hard to get around the lump in his throat. “i’m so so sorry.”

niall noses at his hand, still low to the floor, and whines again. after a second, he’s changed back into a human and sits with his arms wrapped around his knees. 

“lou,” he says brokenly, eyes wide with terror. “i--” he can’t finish, buries his head in his arms instead of speaking. 

“it’s okay, i promise.” 

“i bit someone.” 

“it happens.”

“how can you say that? i could’ve killed someone, or made them into a wolf, or _killed_ them.” 

“you didn’t, though. you just nipped-- you were _scared_ , niall. that’s what happens when you’re scared. you react, and you didn’t hurt him.” 

“i could’ve.”

“you didn’t.” 

there’s a pregnant pause and niall lifts his head, cheeks red and hair all sticking up in all directions. “i’m not a bad person?” 

louis’ heart breaks again. “niall. you could _never._ ”

he doesn’t respond, but scoots a little closer. it’s close enough for louis to tug him into a hug, and niall goes after a moment’s pause. 

liam creeps in with harry at his heels and they plaster themselves to niall’s side. louis ignores the little bit of jealousy that twinges in him when niall leans into harry without hesitation, and smiles when the three of them try their hardest to become one person. zayn joins in too, and they all just lay in a pile until they’re warm and happy again. 

well, kind of. 

zayn catches louis’ eye when niall is smiling again and nods towards the door. 

“where the fuck were you?” he demands as soon as they’re in the hallway. louis blinks, surprised at the ferocity.

“um.” 

“we were in a fucking crisis and you weren’t here. where. were. you.”

“i was with nick and my phone died--” 

“with _nick?_ grimshaw?” 

he winces a little and tries not to shrink under zayn’s gaze. “um, yeah.” 

zayn pinches the bridge of his nose. “why were you with nick fucking grimshaw.” 

“he offered to let me stay the night, because i closed the bar, and i just… didn’t leave.” 

zayn levels him with a glare that’s full of disappointment. louis wonders, not for the first time, why he’s the alpha and not zayn. 

“we needed you.” 

“i know,” louis says, the air rushing out of his chest in whoosh. “i know.” 

there’s another pause while zayn evaluates him for a moment and then nods once, disappearing out of the room and leaving louis more than a little upset. 

 

they're all off for a while, a strange tenor to the household. zayn’s angry at him, glares for a while and only stops when liam tugs at his arm and diverts his attention. louis mouths a thank you and liam nods his head. 

the full moon only makes things more tense. louis paces the house with a frenetic energy until liam begs him to stay still. he rearranges the kitchen, twice, to niall’s dismay and then the bathroom. 

“would you just talk to him already, instead of moping?” harry finally snaps when he can’t find the plates again. “be productive with this energy.” 

“talk to who?”

harry gives him a look. “you know who.” 

“there’s nothing to talk about.” 

“louis, zayn’s mad at you and we can all feel it, and we can also feel how anxious it makes you. go do something about it.” 

“why do i have to be the responsible one?” he whines and gets another look for his trouble. 

“cos you’re the one he’s mad at, and you’re the oldest, _and_ you’re the alpha,” harry says, ticking them off on his fingers. “be a good influence.” 

“i’m supposed to be the bad influence. s’what your family said, wasn’t it? when they found out we were going to run away?” 

“yes, but then they also let me go with you, so i don’t think they meant it.” 

louis scowls at the ground for a moment. “felt like they did.” 

there’s a pause and then harry makes a small noise in the back of his throat. “you’re deflecting.” 

“maybe,” he grumbles and marches to zayn’s room before harry can fuss again, flipping him the finger as he goes. 

“i’m sorry,” he says with a huff, when zayn swings the door open. “i’m sorry i wasn’t here and that i let my phone die so you couldn’t ring me and i’m just really fucking sorry, okay? now can we please have our full moon in harmony?” 

zayn evaluates him for a minute and then nods. “apology accepted, bro, but i don’t think it was supposed to be for me.” 

“i’ve apologized to niall, a long time ago, but he doesn’t hold a grudge like you do, you prick.”

smiling, zayn opens his arm and louis happily goes in for a hug. they stay there for a few minutes, just holding each other and clicking back into place. 

liam comes wandering over after a moment, eyeing them cautiously in case they were fighting or something, and then leans up against louis’ leg. 

“couldn’t wait for the night, huh?” louis asks him, laughing, and liam does his best to shrug as a wolf. “an hour, and then we can go out.” 

“a whole hour?” niall complains from the sofa. “can’t we go now?”

“too light,” he says as he peeks out the window and can still see the trees. “imagine what the neighbors would say if they saw a pack of wolves leaving our house.” 

“don’t we do that every day?” harry asks mildly. 

“as humans, though, not as wolves.” 

harry blinks. “but we are wolves. just not at that moment.” 

“but we’re not going out in our wolf forms.” 

“but--” 

“and if a tree falls in the forest with no one to hear it, does it really make a sound?” niall says with a roll of his eyes. “honestly, you two are awful.” 

“m’not!” harry says, pouting, and niall rolls his eyes again. 

“yeah, okay. you couldn’t be.” 

harry beams. 

when the sun finally drops enough that it’s dark, the five of them slip out and go running through the woods, stopping briefly at the little stream they found a while back. louis splashes liam with water and sprints away as fast as he can so liam can’t get him back. liam gives chase and manages to overtake him, snapping at his neck and dripping water all over louis’ fur. 

zayn joins in, growling a little when louis snaps a bit too sharply or headbutts him a little too hard. liam’s the biggest of them all, though, all muscle and doesn’t need zayn’s protection. not really. zayn doesn’t care, still circles around liam for the rest of the night when louis gets too rough. 

eventually, antagonizing liam--and zayn by extension--gets boring, and he goes and nudges niall in the side. niall falls over, rolling in the dirt, and comes up with an unimpressed look. harry’s shaking with laughter beside louis like it was the funniest thing he’s ever seen, but he noses at niall’s face to make sure he’s okay.

 

there’s a restlessness in his bones that’s pushing him out the door, making him want to do something. the others are all asleep or about to be, and he just wants to be _out._

he goes to the club, the one nearer to the centre of the city, and sighs when he slips in the door. 

werewolves can’t get drunk, not really, but he can get a little tipsy, so orders some fruity drink that comes with a tiny umbrella. he sticks it behind his ear as he sips, just cause. 

“hiya,” someone says into his ear and he jumps. it’s nick, because of course it is, grinning brightly in a shirt with an equally bright pattern. 

“christ, grimshaw. why are we always running into each other. are you stalking me or summat?” 

“maybe we just frequent the same places.” 

louis squints at him for a moment, taking in his expression and fingers tapping like he can’t stay still to the music. “think i’d rather take the stalking, mate.” 

nick just laughs, staggering forward a little as he’s knocked into. he signals to the bartender and gets a drink that looks as fruity as louis’. louis grins. 

“ridiculous,” he mutters and dares nick to comment as he takes a bite out of his lemon. 

nick hums tunelessly to the music, lighting up whenever a song slides seamlessly into another. louis watches the room and feels some of his restlessness fade. it’s still there, just under the surface, but he feels less like he’s going to shake out of his skin. 

“i like this,” nick says, flicking the umbrella and louis smiles. “it’s very flashy.” 

he has to lean in close, steadying himself with a hand to louis’ back, to be heard. 

“do you see anything else you like?” he murmurs, almost distractedly, but he catches the faint stutter to nick’s heart. 

and he’s not as restless, but he just wants to do something utterly and completely reckless, something stupid, and nick’s hand is _so warm_. 

he turns to face him, reads the attraction in his face and makes his decision. surging forward, he kisses nick. he has to step up on his toes to reach, and that shouldn’t be hot but it _is,_ oh it is, and there’s something very pleasant pooling in his stomach. 

“what the fuck, tomlinson?” nick asks mildly, but he seems more surprised than angry. “did you just kiss me?” 

“might’ve. you liked it, though.” 

nick raises an eyebrow and a wicked smile spreads across his face. 

“i think i was too shocked to really tell. you might have to kiss me again.” 

louis rolls his eyes. “twat.” but he reaches up and yanks him down to press their lips together again, letting the kiss turn heated soon enough. nick’s hands are still pressed to his back, pulling him closer and louis manages to reach between them to trace at his chest, easily accessible from his unbuttoned shirt. 

nick makes a little noise when louis tugs his lip into his mouth, sucking on it a bit. the first swipe of nick’s tongue has shivers going down louis’ spine and his fingers dig into nick’s skin. 

“are you trying to kill me?” nick breaks away to groan, bracing his forehead against louis’ for a minute. 

“maybe,” louis says cheerfully and then moves to mouth at nick’s jaw, nipping at the curve under his ear. he rocks his hips forward experimentally and nick groans again.

“christ,” he says, hands drifting to catch louis by the hips, holding him still. louis smiles into nick’s neck. “back to mine, then?” 

“what makes you think i want to go with you?” 

“dunno,” he drawls and bends down to kiss him, grinning when he manages to make his breathing stutter. “you seem pretty keen.” 

“oh, my hips don’t lie,” louis whisper-sings, and nick bites back a laugh. 

“you’re singing shakira? that’s a bit of a mood killer, lou.” 

“what if i could move my hips like she does?” he asks with a shit eating grin as they stumble out of the club.

“doubtful, love. but you can try when we’re in bed.” 

“or i could just suck you off.” 

“mm, that’s also an option. you’ve got some good ideas.” 

louis makes it as difficult as possible for nick to open the door, attaching himself to nick’s back and scraping his teeth over the top of his spine, littering the place where his neck and shoulders meet with bruises.

“you’re insufferable,” nick gasps, and then louder when louis sinks his teeth in. “horrid. ridiculous. intolerable. awful-- _oh_.” 

“shut up and fuck me already, you idiot.” 

 

he’s woken up earlier than usual by the sunlight streaming in the window, an arm thrown over his waist, and the unavoidable need to piss. he wriggles out from nick and dashes to the bathroom to wee. 

climbing back in bed he sees it. nick’s on his back with the sheets pooled around his waist, and there’s a tattoo on his shoulder. louis reaches out to trace it in shock, and snatches his hand back before his fingers touch the skin. 

“shit,” he whispers, shaking his head. “i’ve fucked up. _shit_.”

 

louis’ heart hasn’t stopped racing since he tore out of nick’s flat three days ago, since he deleted and blocked nick’s number, and since he refused to go out of the house for anything besides work. 

maybe he’s being a little paranoid, but. 

liam’s in the kitchen with niall, teasing him gently as he helps make spagbol or something. at least, louis thinks it’s spagbol. it’s pasta, at any rate. liam glances up and his face instantly goes worried. 

“louis, what’s wrong?” 

“everyone thinks something’s wrong,” he says lightly, coming up to snuggle into liam’s side. “is it my face?” 

liam’s quiet for a minute and then he presses his lips to the side of louis’ head. “no, you just look tense.” 

“feel tense too,” niall pipes up, adjusting the heat on the stove. 

“could do with a massage, payno,” he says and liam rolls his eyes. but he digs his thumbs dutifully into louis’ shoulders and it feels so good. 

“my turn next,” harry whines.

“not a chance,” liam counters, making a face. harry pouts and goes to plaster himself to niall’s back instead. 

“feels good,” he mutters. liam grunts in agreement, tapping on louis’ back as a signal he’s done. louis chugs a glass of water and settles back against liam’s side. “where’s zayn?” 

“asleep, i think. he was napping when i got home, at least.” 

“typical.” 

“mhmm,” liam murmurs with a fond smile. 

“we should go wake him up,” louis says with a little cackle and liam’s face drops. 

“he’ll be mad. lou, don’t--” but louis is already running for the little box of a room zayn’s claimed as his. the room smells like paint fumes as he barrels in, making a beeline for the lump in the middle of the bed. 

zayn huffs when louis jumps on top of him, reaching out to swat at his waist. 

“c’mon, you’ve been asleep too long!” 

“haven’t been,” zayn mumbles grumpily, resorting to pinching when louis doesn’t get off. “let me rest.”

“you’re going to miss all the fun.” 

“watching niall cook food is not fun.” louis glances at him for a minute and then changes into a wolf, jumping forward to lick at his face. “oh lou, that’s fucking gross.” 

louis nips at his chin for that and gets trapped by zayn’s arm pulling him close. a cuddle’s not going to stop his mission, but it does feel rather nice. he wriggles a little bit and if he tickles zayn’s neck with his fur, well then. 

“you’re a menace,” says zayn and presses his forehead to the top of louis’ head. harry comes in and sprawls over them both, nosing at zayn’s ear. 

“i’m bored.” 

“s’why you’ve got other friends, so they can entertain you.”

“everyone’s busy, and i want a cuddle.”

louis goes back to licking zayn’s face and zayn lets out another huff. 

“you two are fucking awful.” 

“love you too,” harry says, giggling. louis licks his face too for good measure. groaning, zayn manages to push harry off and onto the floor, shoving louis off a second later. louis yips at him until he gets up. 

“it’s almost time to eat anyway,” louis hears harry say as he trots out. he curls up by liam’s feet because liam’s calming and warm and doesn’t make a fuss. 

the dull sort of ache in his chest goes away a little when he’s a wolf. thinking about nick doesn’t hurt so much, doesn’t cause panic to flare when he’s like this. liam scratches around his ears absently and it feels really nice. he should be a wolf more often. 

he changes back when they eat, because they’ve learned long ago that it never ends well. harry gets a text halfway through and glances at him with a frown. 

“nick wants to talk to you,” harry says later, pausing by louis’ door with his phone in his hand. he looks confused. “he says you’re not answering him.”

“i’m not.” 

“why?” 

“cos i made a mistake,” he says sourly and harry comes in to kiss the side of his head. 

“what mistake did you make?” 

“i slept with him,” he breathes out. harry pauses.

“oh. that’s good, isn’t it? you like him, he likes you.” 

“that’s not--” the words get stuck in his throat. “it was a mistake,” he finishes and drops his head into his hands. 

harry sighs, rubbing at louis’ back, and louis lets himself have ten seconds of pity. 

“right, what’s for dessert? is zayn making something?” he says brightly, forcing his voice into something that’s probably sickly-sweet, but he can’t muster up actual excitement. not right now. harry just looks at him. 

“louis…” 

he scrubs at his face for a minute, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes. “he’s a hunter.” 

there’s a pause. 

“what?” 

“he’s a hunter.” 

“how do you know?” 

“i saw, harry. he’s got the the fucking tattoo on his shoulder, the one they all get.”

“you can’t-- this can’t-- louis, don’t joke like that.” 

harry sounds desperate and louis can barely look at him, running his fingers over the duvet instead. 

“i’m not joking.” 

“he can’t be a hunter. he’s too nice.” 

“i know what i saw.” 

harry shakes his head and leaves the room with an angry noise. slipping down until he’s flat on his back, louis stares at the ceiling. 

 

nick’s a hunter. nick’s a fucking werewolf hunter and louis went along and let him into their lives. 

he can’t let him find out about them, even more than before, can’t take that risk. he’s not going to put his boys in danger because he has a stupid little _crush._ he messed up already, sleeping with someone he didn’t know.

alphas are supposed to _protect,_ not put people in danger. 

 

louis’ laugh dies in his throat when he pulls open the door. nick’s standing on the other side, furious and freezing. 

“why didn’t you text back?” he asks in a low voice, it’s dangerous and louis’ heart rate picks up. “cos i really-- i thought it was good.” 

“nick--” 

“it’s been a week, a fucking week. i wondered if you just needed time or summat? i thought that if it was like a one-off thing, at least you’d still text? i dunno, maybe that’s stupid. i didn’t expect you to like, leave me in the dark?” 

he doesn’t know what to say, how to make this better. he doesn’t even know what better is at this point. he keeps quiet and nick keeps talking.

“i like you, lou. like a lot. i thought you did too and i just…” he runs a hand through his hair and tugs. “i don’t understand why you left without a word.” 

the familiar ache louis gets around nick is back, in the centre of his chest and so big he’s hardly able to breathe around it. 

“i wasn’t thinking straight,” he says quietly. he’s staring at nick’s shoulder instead of his face cause he might crumble if he sees his eyes. 

“you kissed me first.”

“i don’t have time for a relationship. i have a p-- a house full of boys to take care of, a job, and i don’t have time for anything else,” he tells him, voice flat. “last week was good but that’s it for me.” 

nick makes a small noise in the back of his throat. 

“well, i’m sorry--” 

there’s a commotion and suddenly two bodies are pushing themselves past louis into the front garden, yipping and chasing each other and tumbling over their paws. they don’t pay them any mind, just keep wrestling and letting out half-fierce, half-happy barks. liam and niall always did enjoy fighting as wolves. 

louis watches nick watching them and sees the moment when everything clicks. sees the realisation slide across his face, and the regret when he looks back at louis. 

“well, this changes things,” nick whispers. 

louis’ nails are pressing into the soft skin of his palms, and he dimly registers the fact that he’s shaking, but he can’t think about much except nick’s open hands and his two packmates playing behind him. 

there’s a tense moment, before nick sighs, shaking his head a little. he walks slowly, carefully, to his car and louis knows he’s waiting for someone to pounce on his back. 

louis waits until he’s driven away before shouting at liam and niall to come inside. it’s a wonder his voice doesn’t crack. 

 

the boys are worried about him. he gets curious glances when he walks into a room, and sometimes they stop talking abruptly, and they’re so worried. but he can’t explain it to them. maybe it’s some vague hope that ignorance is bliss, or summat, or that the less they know, the less danger they’ll be in. 

whatever.

it’s locked up in his head, and threatens to spill out every time he opens his mouth, so he just stops. stops talking as much and starts hoping the jumpers he wears can finally keep him warm. 

he knocks on the door of zayn’s room and pokes his head in. the smell of weed is heavy already, the air hazy with smoke, and zayn’s sprawled out on the floor. 

“you started without me?” louis pouts and zayn lolls his head to grin at him from the floor. 

“oops?” 

“dick,” he says affectionately, collapsing on the ground beside him. “do you have vodka?” 

“‘course.” zayn hands over the bottle and the cigarette, fingers lingering, and louis knows the questions are coming. “what’s going on, mate?” 

“nothing?” 

zayn laughs, blowing out smoke as he does. “c’mon, man. that’s bullshit and you know it.” 

louis drinks the vodka instead, downing a good bit before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “it’s nothing.” 

“louis.” 

“leave it,” he begs, voice rough with smoke and emotion. “please just leave it.” 

“you need to deal with whatever it is, then.” 

“i am,” louis says sourly as he nicks the cig. 

“not a very good job of it.” 

“i’m trying, alright?” 

zayn shrugs and reclaims the bottle from between louis’ knees, letting them both slip into comfortable silence. the ache in louis’ chest is still there. 

 

it’s not until he’s almost to their door that he notices there’s someone leaned against it. it’s been a long shift at work, on his feet for hours, and he just wants to collapse into bed. 

the figure is tall and lanky, too tall to be harry, and louis’ heart rate picks back up. 

“what are you doing here?” he asks, going for harsh and cutting and ending up with exhausted instead. nick whirls around, looking terrified. his face relaxes when he sees louis, just for a moment, and then he’s back to nervous. 

“wanted to see my friends, didn’t i?’ 

a choked sort of laugh gets stuck in louis’ throat. 

“ _excuse_ me?” 

nick raises his chin and meets his steady gaze. “i have other friends besides you that live here. just because we didn’t work out--” 

“nick, i wouldn’t give a fuck about that, but that’s not the reason you’re here, is it?” 

“i don’t understand.” 

“you’re a hunter, nick.” nick blinks in surprise. “i saw the-- the tattoo on your shoulder. my… my pack’s inside, i can’t let you be in there too,” he says, and it’s a wonder he’s able to get this all out. he’s too tired to be angry, too tired to be anything but blunt.

“you’re the alpha, then?” 

“you’re going to hurt them and i can’t let you do that,” louis says instead.

“louis--” nick says, frustration in every line in his body. 

he’s not sure who moves first, but louis blinks and they’re kissing. nick’s back is pressed up against the house, and he’s pressed up against nick. there’s more teeth than gentleness, desperation running through their veins. nick’s got one hand in louis’ hair and the other stretched across his back, keeping him close. 

it’s dizzying, the feeling, and louis gets a little lost in it. gets lost in the heat and taste and _want_ that he can’t bear to wrench away from. 

they break apart when they have to, breathing raggedly and just looking at each other. the haziness starts fading from louis’ thoughts and shame starts creeping in. it settles on his skin like a fog. the silence is heavy and louis thinks he might be drowning. he looks at their feet instead of nick, he can’t bear it. 

there’s a glimmer by his toe; one of nick’s necklaces fell off. he stoops to pick it up and shoves it at him. 

“it broke,” he says quietly. 

nick laughs, and it’s a little bit strangled. “just keep it. i--” 

“please leave,” louis interrupts, very very quietly. “because i can’t let you hurt them, and i don’t want to kill you.” 

nick stares at him for a moment, pressing his lips together, and then nods jerkily. louis watches until he’s far off before he goes inside, shoving the necklace into his pocket. 

zayn greets him in the kitchen, pushing a hot cup into his hands almost before louis mumbles out a hello. 

“you look knackered, mate.” 

louis hums, slumping against him and blowing idly on the tea. 

“it was a long day.” 

“want to talk about it?” 

“not particularly,” he says with a little laugh. “just-- stupid customers, a lot them, and i stood all day.” 

zayn curls his hand around louis’ neck and tips him further into his side. digging his fingers into the muscle, zayn works at the tension there. it feels good, so good, and louis is so tired he could cry. he lets himself be led to his bed and get tucked in, zayn’s movements soft and gentle. 

he quite feels like he’s being a baby about all this, but he doesn’t know what to do with all the panic fluttering in his chest. all the guilt creeping around the edges. it’s fucking awful, and he really just wants to crawl into his bed and not come out. 

niall comes and curls up with him and that’s-- it’s good. niall’s simple and uncomplicated and willing to let louis sulk for a little while. 

“what’re you doing here?” he asks tiredly, because there’s a million other places niall could be. niall shifts a little closer and presses his forehead into louis’ back. 

“you don’t like being alone,” niall answers, a bit sleepily, and louis could cry again. he doesn’t deserve them, any of them, and he’s somehow in charge.

sometime in the early, early morning, he digs out the silver chain and pendant. it’s stupid, but he’d always liked them against nick’s neck. 

the pendant’s a circle and vaguely mechanic. it reminds louis of a compass, with the directions printed on one side. it changes too, just barely fluctuates when he moves. 

he runs his thumb down the face and frowns. running over it again, he feels panic settle somewhere down in his stomach. 

he had read about these before a while ago. they weren’t compasses, they were tracking devices. hunters could sneak them into pockets, or sell them, and be able to find whoever they were tracking later. 

nick gave him a tracker. 

he stared at the necklace for a few seconds and shoved it back in the pocket, kicking his jacket under the bed. he’d deal with it later, learn how to destroy them properly. there was a certain way to do it, he remembered, but he just had to figure it out.

 

it’s telling how tense he is, and how much it’s bleeding through their ties, because harry changes into a wolf and crawls into louis’ lap. he’s whining softly, sad little noises, and he looks up at him with big eyes. 

“what’s got you in a mood?” 

“you’re upset,” liam answers for him, frowning from across the room. “and we want to know why.” 

“i’m not.” 

zayn snorts. “you are, though.”

niall’s chewing on his cheek, looking a mix between anxious and upset. he opens his mouth for a second, and then closes it, and then opens it again. 

“lou,” he says carefully and louis feels his heart rate pick up. “is this about nick?” 

panic flares up in his chest and he can’t do anything about it, can’t hide it because he knows they can feel it too. not as powerfully through normal pack ties than alpha ones, but they still can feel the anxiety. still can read louis’ heart rate and feel the tension in his chest. he should’ve known, he should’ve fucking known his emotions were seeping out into the boys’, and now they’re off-balanced and jittery

harry’s watching him now, fur on edge, and the rest of them too. It feels a bit like being behind glass. 

“it is, a bit,” he answers, because he can’t lie and that’s not one. not really. 

“i thought--” liam cuts himself off and starts tugging at his hair. zayn catches his hand, pulling it away gently. 

“you thought what?” louis says evenly. niall glances at the other boys and his fingers twitch.

“i thought you were the one that ended that? like-- what aren’t you telling us?”

louis bristles and harry rolls off his lap to sit on the floor instead. all four of them give him identical looks. it’s a bit creepy. 

“i’m telling you everything that’s important.”

“but not everything,” zayn finishes. louis resolutely does not stare at the floor, but meets each of their gazes. 

“we’re not made out of glass, lou,” liam says softly and louis shakes his head. 

“it’s not that.” it’s the fact that he made a mistake, put them all in danger. that he slept with a hunter and then made out with him again. 

it’s fucking embarrassing, and it’s fucking terrifying as well. he’s supposed to be the one that knows better. he’s supposed to be the fucking alpha, he’s supposed to be the one to have it all together. instead, he feels like everything’s falling apart instead. 

“i can’t tell you,” he repeats in a small voice, and the boys all exchange glances. zayn gets up with a huff, looking angry. 

“we’re your mates, you can _trust_ us,” he says and stomps off to his room. liam follows after giving louis a sad nudge. 

niall is watching him with a mixed expression of pity and hurt, and louis hates it. 

“i’m sorry.”

“we just want to help you, mate,” niall says gently, but then he’s leaving too. harry changes back into a human and crosses his arms. his face is stony, but a muscle is working in his jaw.” 

“you’re not telling them? the hell, louis?” 

“don’t, harry.” 

“no, i’m going to. why won’t you tell them that nick’s a hunter? this is dangerous, we all need to stay away from nick and they need to know why.” 

“i can’t. i’ll just-- i’ll just command them not to.” 

“what the fuck,” harry asks incredulously. louis shrinks back a little but tilts his chin up to meet harry’s glare. “you can’t fucking do that.” 

“yes i can. i’m the alpha.” 

harry looks even angrier. louis has never used his alpha voice on any of the boys, never tried to bend them to do what he wanted, but he’s not writing it out now. 

“that’s not an option. that’s never been an option, louis. we’re a _family_ and you don’t make people do what they don’t want to do in a family. fuck you for even thinking you could. that’s fucking awful.” 

last summer, louis had done the ice challenge after niall had dared him to, and he’ll always remember the shock and white hot pain feeling. it feels like that now, except it’s terror. 

“i don’t know what else to do.” 

“tell the truth, maybe. honestly, louis.” without waiting for a reply, he runs out of the room and leaves louis stunned on the sofa. 

 

niall’s mad at him for upsetting harry, and liam’s mad at him for making niall mad, and zayn’s mad because everyone else is mad, and louis just wants to lay down and sleep for five hundred years. 

he hides in his room, and for once isn’t joined by anyone during the night. the weight of everything is too much, presses him into the bed and makes him hurt all over. 

it’s more than heartbreak. it’s heartbreak and fear and regret and sadness and loneliness all piled up on his chest until he doesn’t think he’ll be able to move ever again, it’s too heavy. 

he fucked up _everything._ he’s not fit to be an alpha, not even fit to be in the pack, and he figures he’ll give it up to zayn or liam when he can get the strength to leave. maybe he’ll go to france, live on the alps by himself for a while. learn how to ski or summat. draw away the danger he’d brought on the boys. 

 

he jolts up in bed sometime in the late evening and instantly falls back down, wincing as the room spins around him. there’s the heavy scent of blood in his nose, and panic that isn’t his own running through his veins, and the overwhelming need to protect calling out to him. 

stumbling from his room, he nearly falls into harry and it’s a testament to the fear they’re all feeling that harry grabs on and doesn’t let go. 

the fear is sluggish and reminds louis of smoke, making everything hazy. zayn, then, who’s in danger, and it’s confirmed when liam and niall join their circle. 

“fuck, louis, what do we do?” liam pants, shaking horribly until louis circles his wrist with a hand. “louis, how do we help him?” 

before louis can answer, they hear the door swing open and the fear gets stronger. harry nearly kills himself trying to get downstairs, tripping over his feet and almost falling down the steps. niall snags his shirt just in time. 

zayn’s leaned up against a wall, deathly pale and a hand pressed to his side. he’s dripping blood in a trail leading to the door. 

“help,” he whispers and liam surges forward to catch him before he faints. 

“where do we go?” liam asks and louis kickstarts himself into motion. 

“kitchen. someone go clear the table off, someone else go get the medkit.” harry’s out of the room before louis is even finished speaking and niall’s on his heels. louis shakes out of the deja vu and goes to help clean up. 

harry’s snagged the tattered and bloodstained tablecloth they’ve sacrificed to injuries, spreading it across the table. liam lays him down and rips off his shirt; niall’s already back with the tub full of medicines. 

it looks like a knife wound, stretching up from zayn’s hip to just under his ribs. the boys all wince, and liam tucks his hand into zayn’s. it’s starting to heal already, but the worst injuries always heal the slowest. 

“should we call caroline?” harry asks anxiously. 

“yeah,” louis says. “hurry.” 

this is too much for him to deal with, too much for all of them to handle. they can deal with the scrapes that come with being a werewolf, but being sliced open? louis doesn’t know what to _do_. 

“what’s that smell?” niall wonders after a few minutes of waiting, pressing on zayn’s side to stop the blood. under the coppery scent of blood, there’s the thick smell of fire, of leather, of iron. 

it’s smells familiar, not like pack but like something louis recognizes, something he should know. 

“it’s stronger on his jacket,” liam says, gingerly picking up the bloodstained piece of clothing. “like they stood close behind him.” 

“hold on, that’s mine,” louis says with a frown as he snatches it from liam. “he was wearing my jacket.” there’s a lump in the pocket, the necklace that nick gave him still shoved at the bottom. he pulls it out to fiddle with. 

“louis,” liam says sharply and it makes louis jump. “can i see that?” louis hands it over and liam inspects it for a moment, running his fingers over the charm over and over again. 

“what are you doing?” niall asks. liam looks at louis quizzically. 

“why do you have a tracking device?” 

“what?” 

“this,” liam tells him, dangling the chain from his fingers. “it’s got a tracking device. and it’s in your jacket that zayn was wearing.”

everything clicks into place all at once, and louis nearly staggers under the weight of it all. 

the jacket smells like hunter. like nick. 

“fucking hell,” he breathes just as caroline bursts in with her bag in hand. 

“harry said zayn was hurt?” she says in lieu of a greeting and louis nods frantically.

“care, can you-- i’ve got to go.” 

“i’ll handle this, don’t worry.” 

“louis?” harry yells after him. “where the fuck are you going? louis!” he’s already a wolf, barely noticing when harry follows. no time to explain, not when zayn’s been stabbed by nick fucking grimshaw. 

louis fucked up, he _so_ fucked up, and now his pack is hurt. he can’t do this anymore, can’t be the alpha when he keeps failing his boys. 

they keep to the edge of the city, avoiding the major streets. the citizens wouldn’t take too kindly to two decently large wolves running wild, and there’s enough going on today. he changes in an alleyway when they’re close, and runs to the flat. 

his heart’s beating so fast, he can barely concentrate; he can hear it in his ears, feel it in his toes. his vision’s gone dark except for nick’s door. 

“louis, what the hell?” harry pants when they skid to a stop in front of the flat. louis doesn’t answer, just raises his hand to pound against the door. nick’s in, he can hear him, but it takes a minute for it to swing open. 

nick blinks at them for a good few seconds in shock. “what the fuck. why are you here, tomlinson?” 

“we’re at _nick’s_? what are we doing at his flat?” 

louis shoves his hands into nick’s shoulders and it sends him reeling back into the lounge. harry and nick both shout in confusion, but louis just does it again and slams the door behind him. 

“you are a piece of shit,” he growls and nick frowns. 

“why are you--” 

“i can’t believe-- i should’ve killed you when you saw the other day.” 

“louis!” harry yells, catching louis’ arm before he can punch nick. “what the fuck? _kill_ him? what the _fuck_?” 

louis pulls against harry’s grip but he’s too strong. he settles for baring his teeth at nick instead. he feels slightly like a wild animal, slightly like there’s moonlust in his veins with zayn’s pain still swirling through his body and making his thoughts go a little hazy. the bitter taste of betrayal mixed with terror coats his mouth. he wants to spit it out and replace it with the taste of revenge. “harry-- let me go--” 

“no,” harry says, jaw set. “not until you fucking explain what’s going on.” 

“yes, enlighten us.” 

“shut up,” louis snarls at him, feeling slightly vindicated at his flinch. 

his head’s just a mess of _i fucked up, nick nearly killed zayn, i fucked up._ he doesn't know how to fix this without someone getting even more hurt but he’ll choose his boys over nick any day. 

“louis,” harry says, low enough that nick shouldn't be able to hear, “how could it have been his fault?”

“what other hunters do we know of, harry? who knows enough to know to stab zayn?”

“wait, _what_?” 

“zayn was stabbed?” nick asks and louis whirls around to sneer at him. 

“like you didn't know.”

“i didn't,” he insists. louis scoffs. 

“of course you did! you gave me that tracker--oh fucking hell, were you going to kill _me?!_ ”

“you’re not making any sense,” nick shouts and it makes louis flinch, hands curling into fists at his side. 

“a hunter?” harry repeats softly, but louis doesn’t pay him any mind. 

“that tracker, it was in my jacket that zayn was wearing.” 

“what fucking tracker? i didn’t--” 

“the one on the stupid necklace you told me to keep that night--” 

“the night i kissed you,” nick finishes and harry makes a confused noise. 

“what is going _on_?”

“you were going to kill me, but you got zayn instead. or got your friends to stab him, i don’t know. fucking hell, i’m going to kill you,” louis growls, and it’s only harry grabbing him again that makes him stop. nick takes a tiny step back, and it just makes him madder. 

“that tracker doesn’t work, it’s dead and-- you think i was trying to kill you? or zayn?”

“who else could it have been?” louis spits.

"i could never," nick says in a low voice. "you know me, and i could never.” 

louis looks at him for a moment, at the color drained from his skin and the tight expression across his face, and tries to steady his heaving chest. it doesn’t work, there’s too much swirling around for him to process. he needs to get out of there, back to _pack_ and _safety_ and _simple._

“don’t come near us again,” he bites out and yanks harry out the door to the street. it’s not until harry makes a small sound that louis realises he’s hurting him. “sorry.” 

harry rubs at his arm, brow furrowed, and glares at him. “what the fuck was that? when did he give you a tracker?” 

“a few weeks ago.” 

“before or after you slept with him?” 

“after,” louis says in a small voice, studiously not looking at him. harry takes in a sharp breath. 

“you knew he was a hunter and you let him give you a tracker?”

“i forgot about it, alright! i stuck it in my jacket and i was going to look up how to destroy it, but i forgot.” 

“you forgot,” harry says flatly and louis grimaces.

“yeah.” 

“how could you forget _that_?” 

louis shrugs, feeling more cavalier than he should. “i fucked up.” 

harry gives him an unreadable look and doesn’t talk for a few seconds. finally, he nods and turns on his heel.

“i’d say you did, yeah.” 

the walk home is silent. 

 

caroline’s worn thin with exhaustion, but she gives them instructions on how to help zayn when they get back. he’s tucked into bed with liam watching him carefully and niall curled up at the foot of the bed. harry takes one look at him and changes too, nosing carefully at niall’s face before settling down.

louis hovers by the door and wonders when he’ll stop feeling like an outsider in his own pack. there’s a tension in the room that’s settled into balance, and if he takes a step towards the bed he’s going to break it. swallowing the bitterness, he stumbles to the lounge instead, falls on the sofa and clicks on a random show. 

“louis.” it’s liam, looking harsher than louis has ever seen him. “the hell? what are you doing?” 

“watching telly,” he mumbles as if it weren’t obvious. 

“no, you’re avoiding responsibility.” 

he snaps his head up to look at liam, the sharpness in his tone so new. “what?” 

“we need you in there, alright? zayn’s hurt, niall’s scared, harry’s upset and you’re out here watching shit telly and moping? you’re supposed to be the leader.” 

“yes, thank you for reminding me liam,” he snaps. “i know i’m being a shit alpha, but no need to go rubbing it in my face.” 

“you wouldn’t be doing such a shit job if you did what you were supposed to!” 

“i’m doing my best, alright?” 

“it’s not good enough.” 

louis rolls his eyes and heaves himself off the sofa, taking the long way to the front door. liam calls after him crossly and he ignores it, not stopping until he’s a ways from home. 

he creeps back in some time in the early morning, body exhausted and mind still not stopping. there’s a body in his bed, blue eyes blinking at him when he swings open the door to the bedroom. 

“niall,” he sighs and niall flinches. 

“where were you?” 

“out.”

“are you alright?” 

he pastes a grin on his face and thanks the darkness for not letting niall see. “yeah, fine. just needed to clear my head a bit. did you have another nightmare?” 

niall nods and reaches for louis as soon as he slides in the bed, burying his face in louis’ shoulder. 

“you weren’t here,” he says softly and louis’ stomach twists again. 

“didn’t know you wanted me here,” he mumbles into the pillow. 

“you always know, though. what’s going on with you, lou?” 

he shoves his face harder into the pillow. maybe he can smother the guilt coating the back of his throat, or smother himself. whichever way makes the quiet disappointment in niall’s voice go away. 

“i was trying to make sure no one got hurt,” he says quietly, but niall doesn’t answer, too far gone towards sleep. 

 

harry shoots him uneasy glances throughout the day, looking more and more annoyed until louis snaps. 

“what the hell, harry?” 

“are you going to tell them?” 

“tell us what?” liam asks, reaching over to pause the telly. louis twists his hands together and scowls at harry.

“nick’s a hunter,” harry says after a moment. there’s silence while the other three try to take it in, zayn on the sofa with niall on the floor beside him, and liam on a chair. louis picks at a cushion instead of looking at any of them.

“nick _grimshaw?_ ” liam finally asks. 

“yeah,” louis mutters, still resolutely avoiding their gazes. they’re all looking at him, though, and he can feel it on his skin. 

“how long have you known?” 

“a while.” 

“oh my god,” zayn says, sounding angry. “and you didn’t tell us? that was important for everyone to know. that puts the whole pack in danger--” 

“i _know_. i had it under control.” 

“obviously not, cause i’m still healing from getting stabbed.” 

louis winces and shrinks back into his hoodie, pulling the sleeves over his hands. “nick says it wasn’t him.” 

zayn snorts, but harry jumps in. 

“lou’s right, i don’t think it was nick.”

“what about whoever gave louis the tracker?” says niall and louis shakes his head. 

“that was nick as well, and it was an accident.” 

“how do we know for sure?” liam demands. 

“trust me on this,” he says weakly and watches liam’s brow furrow. harry and niall exchange a look. 

“louis,” niall says carefully, “how long have you known about the tracker?” 

he’s quiet for a moment, thinking through how to explain, but he’s tired. he’s so tired of this all, and hiding it has been fucking killing him. 

“a while,” he answers. 

“what the fuck, louis?” 

“i didn’t know what to do, alright?” louis yells back, running his hand through his hair. “it all happened so fast and it’s fucking _nick!_ i didn’t think-- i didn’t think he’d do anything to hurt us. he’s our _friend_.” 

“how’d that turn out for you?” zayn says sarcastically. “oh right, it didn’t!” 

“it wasn’t him, i promise.” 

“you don’t know that!” liam asks, eyes wide and desperate. louis stares at him for a moment and then whirls to face harry. 

“harry, you were there. tell them it wasn’t nick.” 

“it wasn’t nick,” he says and zayn and liam seem to relax a bit. “and he said the tracker was dead. broken.” 

“it wasn’t nick,” louis repeats firmly, sagging against the chair. everyone goes quiet for a little while, and louis goes back to picking at the cushion again. the silence is heavy, nothing peaceful or happy. there’s a pit in his stomach. 

“i’ve been an awful alpha,” he whispers. the boys still hear, though, turn their heads to focus in on him. “don’t deserve to be one any more”

niall shakes his head furiously and comes over to wrap him in a fierce hug. 

“you are not.”

the fact that he’s the only one to say anything doesn’t go unnoticed. it’s confirmation, maybe.

“i am, though. it’s my fault, it’s all my fault. everyone’s mad at me and now zayn’s hurt because i slept with a stupid--” he cuts himself off and presses his lips together, trying to find some control. niall doesn’t say anything, just tightens his grip around his shoulders and buries his face in louis’ neck. 

it’s embarrassing, really, and louis has never felt smaller in his life. he glances up and locks eyes with zayn. 

“you can have it, when you’re better. you can be the alpha.” 

zayn doesn’t answer. his expression grows dark and unreadable and then he’s pushing himself up abruptly, storming out of the room. liam also sends him a look he can’t read, and then he’s following zayn. 

“louis,” niall says, a little helplessly. 

“i didn’t want anyone to get hurt and now everyone is.” 

harry sniffs and then he’s coming over to try and fit on the chair as well, wrapping his long arms around them both. 

“love you,” he says simply. it’s muffled from where his face is shoved into louis’ back, and louis can feel his shirt getting damp already. “love you so much.” 

for the first time, it makes louis feel worse instead of better. 

 

louis changes into a wolf for bedtime. it’s easier to deal with his emotions that way, easier to fall asleep. he chases away niall and harry to their own rooms. 

“i’d like a night alone, boys,” he says, hoping his heart doesn’t race and give himself away. it’s strange, maybe, and the exact opposite of what he usually wants but pack means failure tonight, as ugly as that thought is. he doesn’t want a reminder of his failure. 

his bed is so big when it’s just him curled up in a ball, when there’s not four other people there with him.

 

“louis.” 

he looks up, startled, and nearly throws the glass he’s cleaning. 

“i thought i told you not to come near us again,” he says icily, eyeing nick’s form. he looks tired and worried, eyebrows drawn together and face a little pale. nick grimaces. 

“i know but like. you’ve got to be careful, okay?” 

“why?” louis asks, his curiosity getting the best of him. nick grimaces again, sighing, and running a hand over his face. 

“i don’t-- you’ve heard of the bloodmoon pack, right?” 

louis frowns and ignores the way his heart’s just sped up a bit. 

“no i haven’t, and i really don’t see what you’re still doing here.” 

“listen louis, the alpha’s just a day off, he’s coming for your pack.”

everything stills for a moment, slowing to a stop. louis blinks once, twice, and tries to keep his face neutral. 

“why should i trust you?” louis says after a moment’s pause, raising an eyebrow. “how do you know this, anyways?” 

“he’s working with the hunters--” 

“--with _you._ ” 

nick stops mid-sentence and glares, managing to look hurt and angry all at once. 

“not me, no. i’m not a hunter anymore, alright? i stopped a while ago.” louis scoffs, but nick just continues over him. “he’s working with the hunters who stabbed zayn. they were going for the alpha, but he was wearing your jacket.” 

“they thought zayn was me.” 

“yeah, and because you didn’t die, the bloodmoon alpha’s just going to finish you off himself. you _and_ your pack. he knows where you live.” 

“for fuck’s sake, i haven’t done anything to him! why’s he coming?” 

nick shakes his head. “that’s all i know, i promise. i just… thought i’d warn you.”

louis gives him a look. “why?” 

“might think you’re cute,” he says honestly, pink tingeing his cheeks. louis blinks. 

“ i’m still mad, you know.” 

quirking the corner of his lips up into a smile, nick gives a little half-hearted shrug. “i know.” he hesitates, like he’s going to say something else, but then presses his lips together and leaves. 

again, louis watches him go, the half-clean glass forgotten in his hands. 

 

he’s got no time to prepare, barely enough time to _think_. there’s only one option, really. he’s got to keep the other boys safe and keep them away. 

they’re not too difficult to clear out of the house. zayn and liam aren’t speaking to him currently, and niall and harry have lectures. it’s easy, really.

louis doesn’t hug them goodbye when they go. doesn’t allow himself that negative thinking. harry picks up on something though, he hovers close by when he’s eating his breakfast. 

“you okay harold?” 

“yeah,” harry says in a small voice, and drapes himself over louis’ back. he digs his chin into his shoulder, making louis shiver. 

“pest.” 

“but you love me.” 

that makes his chest-ache twinge, and he reaches up to card a hand through harry’s curls. 

“i do, but just a bit.” 

“knew it,” harry tells him, nicking a bit of toast. he smiles serenely when louis turns to glare, and sidles away to hide behind niall. 

niall’s smiling at louis fondly, enough to make his skin tickle, and he cocks an eyebrow. “what’re you grinning about, horan?” 

“you’re back to your normal self,” niall says simply. he gets up to dump his dishes in the sink and presses a kiss to louis’ hair. “s’nice.” 

louis closes his eyes, trying not to let guilt and fear crash over him. 

“thanks nialler. just had a little bit of a low spot, yeah? it happens.” niall doesn’t answer, just kisses him again. “you’re both going to be late, you know.” 

“shit,” harry says, jumping up and running out the door. louis laughs as he bumps into the handle in his hurry. niall shakes his head and follows a little bit more slowly. 

they leave in a flurry of limbs and papers and tapping feet, and louis is left alone. 

 

he’s got no patience for waiting, but there’s nothing he can do alone in the house. watching telly or playing fifa seems a little bit too trite, considering the situation. he paces the house instead, trying not to think. it doesn’t really work. 

the house is empty and quiet without the boys, and it’s unnerving. louis’ ears keep picking up things he thinks he hears. 

there’s absolutely no chance of this going peacefully. even if the alpha has perfectly good intentions, louis is going to give him hell for hurting one of his pack. 

he’s not anxious, is the thing. or maybe he is, in an abstract way, but it’s sort of detached from him. maybe it’s a blessing, keeps the boys away and from worrying. he’s just hoping the alpha comes by before the boys come home, before they can all get involved in this mess, before they can get hurt because of him. again. 

he wanders around the house, putting things back in place. it might be the first time in his life he’d willingly tidied up, but there’s nothing else to do. 

 

the knock on the door is as unexpected as it is loud, but louis has barely twitched towards it when it swings open. 

the man on the other side is big and mean, everything an alpha should be. 

“louis,” the man says easily and it’s enough to send his heart racing again. “it’s been a while.” 

“didn’t fancy coming for a visit.” 

“you didn’t want to come home?” 

louis freezes. he never learned the alpha’s name, wasn’t allowed to refer to him as anything but _the alpha_. he never learned a lot of things, like how it was okay to not want to hurt people and that fear didn’t have to be a constant part of life.

“it hasn’t been home for a long time.” 

“how poetic,” the alpha sneers, taking another step forward. louis wants to yell at him for invading his space, coming into his pack’s life. there’s so much tension in the room, alpha against alpha. louis can feel his hackles rise, his skin itching to attack. 

“why are you here?” louis asks, hands twitching at his sides. the other man is infuriatingly calm. “why now, after six years?”

“don’t flatter yourself, louis. i’m not here for _you_. i’m here because you stole from me and i want it back.” 

“are you fucking mental? i haven’t taken anything from you.”

“i want my wolves back, tomlinson.” 

louis is lost, so very lost. “what the fuck are you talking about? wolves? i don’t have any of yours, they’ve all been--” he cuts himself off as everything clicks into place, watching the smile spread across the alpha’s face. “oh my god. liam was in your pack.” 

“yes.” 

“i should’ve known when he was covered in bruises,” he says, mostly to himself. “i should have _realised_. he didn’t smell like your pack.” 

“it smells different when you’re not a part, louis. haven’t you heard that?” 

“shut up,” louis snaps, glaring at him. “and you can’t have liam. he’s mine now. ours.” 

“i don’t think you know how embarrassing it is to have two--well, three--wolves get away from you. it’s horrifying, and i don’t appreciate looking so weak. i want you all back, and the other two as interest.” 

“we’re not fucking objects. and there’s only two of us, besides.” 

the alpha shakes his head. “three. the blond one was supposed to be a part as well.” 

“you bit niall? you _fucker,_ do you realise how traumatized he was ? you just fucking left him in the woods, _bleeding_ , without a fucking thought for him _._ ” 

“he would’ve found his way eventually.” 

“he would’ve died if we hadn’t found him!” 

the alpha shrugs, eyes focused on louis’ face and looking indifferent. “so be it.” 

louis is shaking now, anger resonating through every bone in his body, and red painting his vision. the smell of his old pack is overwhelming, especially combined with what he’d just heard. 

“you tried to kill us,” he says hollowly, distantly. 

“well, maybe you should come back.” 

“fuck that,” louis snarls, and then he’s hurdling across the room towards the alpha’s throat. the alpha’s expecting it, almost, and he dodges out of the way with a slice against louis’ side. it hurts, but just a bit, and he’s landing on his feet, ready to go again. 

“are we seriously going to fight like this?” the alpha asks, bored. louis bares his teeth, adrenaline and fear and aggression pumping through his body and making everything sharp and cold. 

“you’re not getting my pack.” 

the alpha blinks at him, deceptively slowly but there’s a sly gleam in his eye. 

“i can take it from you.” 

“i’d like to see you try.” 

this time it’s the alpha moving first. he’s fast enough to blur a bit, and louis only just manages to throw himself out of the way. he changes down to his wolf form and growls, snapping as fiercely as he can. he’s not big, even as a wolf, but he’s fast. he’s biting at the alpha’s leg as soon as he’s changed, sinking his teeth into the muscle. 

the alpha howls and flings him away with a decent amount of force. louis twists to land on his feet and then he’s attacking again, going for the leg again. dimly he thanks whatever teacher taught him about the artery in the thigh; he doesn’t have to try for the alpha’s throat too much if he can get him to bleed out from his femoral. 

he gets batted away again, the alpha snapping at his stomach. louis yelps when his teeth catch and tear into his skin. 

the odds are so stacked against him, louis’ resigned to it already. the alpha’s older, stronger, bigger, and he knows louis, knows how he fights. there’s little chance of killing him before the rest of the boys figure out what’s wrong, and even littler chance of him getting out of this alive. 

but hell, he’s going to try. he’d rather die than let his boys go to the bloodmoon pack. he’d rather die than go back there. 

his stomach’s bleeding now, and his side, enough to make him a little woozy. he breathes for a second, but the alpha’s coming at him again. louis angles in for his throat, and the alpha’s going for his, and it’s just chaos and fear and fur and sharpness for too long. 

when they separate, louis is more tattered and halfway into the kitchen. it gives him an idea, and he’s back as a human almost without noticing. he scrabbles for the drawer and fishes out a knife, throwing it at the alpha as fast as he can. he grabs two more, keeping one in his hand and flinging the other again. it bounces off his shoulder, but doesn’t do much more than make the alpha madder. 

louis points the tip at him, hands unsteady and blood trickling down his stomach. it hurts, oh it hurts, but he keeps his grip, stands his ground. 

“don’t,” he says, and it’s weak. the alpha snarls at him, lip curling up so louis can see his teeth, muzzle wet with blood. “don’t,” he says again, but the alpha lunges forward. 

louis isn’t fast enough, doesn’t bring the knife up high enough, and the alpha’s teeth sink into his side again. louis’ vision goes white for a second, the pain searing and unbearable. the momentum knocks him down to the ground. 

everything’s blurry and strange, dulled by the excruciating feeling ripping up his side. the alpha’s bleeding too, weak from the loss, but louis somehow still has the knife in his hand. he brings it up but it gets knocked away before he can stab. 

the alpha’s half on top of him, just breathing for a moment. he changes back as a human to leer at louis. 

“gotcha,” he coughs. 

louis tries to say something, he really does, but his mouth won’t form the words. he’s dying, alone on his kitchen floor, but it’s okay. his boys are safe. the alpha’s going to die too, and they’ll all be safe. it’s okay. 

someone’s yelling. it might be him, louis isn’t sure. nothing feels real right now; even the pain’s dulled a bit. 

there’s a sharp noise, and louis turns his head to see a pair of boots crash into the room. he knows those boots, and the four that come in behind them. they catch the alpha’s attention too, and he smiles before getting to his feet. 

_oh no,_ louis thinks, watching the alpha take in liam and zayn and harry and niall, all standing fiercely in the door. and nick, lovely wonderful amazing nick, who louis likes even though he shouldn’t, is glaring too.

he’d done everything he could to keep them away, and now they’re here and now they’re going to get hurt, because of him.

_i’ve failed._


	2. to be a king beside you somehow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _nick doesn’t know where to start, or how to get it out fast enough. there’s an alpha coming for the pack, and louis is by himself because no one knows._   
>  _“boys--” he starts, but the two aren’t listening. they’ve got identical frowns on, looking bewildered and terrified and hurt all at once._   
>  _“louis,” harry breathes and his face crumples in pain_
> 
> or, the fall out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to kate and ana for reading this over for me, and to everyone for being enthusiastically supportive. i didn't mean for this to take so long and i also didn't mean for it to be so long.
> 
> i'm really sorry it's all in lowercase. eventually, i might go back and fix it, but i just want to be done with this fic for a while. i've been writing it off and on for almost a year now, and it's time to let it go. it was a really hard one for me to get through. i put a lot of what i was feeling into the characters and that took a lot of work. 
> 
> but thank you again for all the support. i love you all. 
> 
> enjoy xx

if nick could take back any one moment in his life, he’d choose the one where they inked this stupid dangerous disgusting mark of a hunter on his skin. in a heartbeat, he’d take it back. he didn’t know, didn’t realise he was pledging himself to a life he couldn’t stand and an occupation that made him sick. 

he’d quit as soon as he could, got out and moved here, hoping to get away. of course, he’d ended up right in the centre of things, accidentally slept with a werewolf, found the connection between the hunters and the bloodmoon pack. 

thank god he’d found that. he only wishes he’d given louis a bit more time to prepare. 

caroline texts him when the alpha comes to town, because she knows everything. it doesn’t do anything to calm his fears, it actually kicks his heartbeat up a notch. he stares at his phone for a good five minutes, wondering if he should call in help, if he even _could_ call in help. 

“they can take care of themselves; they’re a strong pack,” he reminds himself all day, as he taps his fingers on his leg all day. he almost believes it, too, until he catches harry’s figure in the bakery. it’s so unexpected that he forgets that he told louis he’d stay away, that he promised himself he wouldn’t interact with any of the pack anymore. 

“harry,” he nearly shouts, bursting into the bakery. “harry, what are you doing here?” 

harry’s face lights up for a split second before he remembers and it morphs into something cagey. he glances around the shop, like he’s looking for a way out and shifts away from nick. 

“um… working?” harry answers after a second, hesitantly and a bit timid. 

“where’s louis?” 

“i don’t know.” 

nick doesn’t have to be a werewolf to know that he’s lying. he’s a horrid liar, but that’s beside the point.

“harry, this is an emergency. where. is. louis.” 

harry frowns, tugging a hand through his hair. “home, i think. he didn’t have anything today, and he usually just lounges around at home when he’s got an off day.” 

“is he by himself?” 

“maybe?” 

“i need to know for sure,” he says, and maybe it’s a little strong because harry’s looking scared again. the part of nick that’s not worried about louis breaks a little at the fear in harry’s eyes. 

“everything alright?” niall asks mildly, knocking on the door. harry turns to him with something like relief, and niall’s crossing towards him in a heartbeat. nick’s never been scared of niall, never had reason to be, but there’s an expression on his face that makes nick shiver a little. 

“why aren’t you with louis?” he demands and both niall and harry cock their heads. 

“we’ve got work. and class,” niall answers. “why would we be?” 

“he didn’t tell you?” nick asks, feeling very much like everything’s gone from bad to worse. “is louis alone?”

“tell us what, nick?” harry asks, voice sharp. 

“what the hell is going on?”

nick doesn’t know where to start, or how to get it out fast enough. there’s an alpha coming for the pack, and louis is by himself because no one knows. 

“boys--” he starts, but the two aren’t listening. they’ve got identical frowns on, looking bewildered and terrified and hurt all at once. 

“louis,” harry breathes and his face crumples in pain. nick can almost _feel_ the potency, a phantom ache in his chest that makes his breath hitch. 

“what’s going on?” 

“he’s hurt,” niall says over his shoulder, both of them already running for the door. “oh god, he’s hurt--” 

nick’s following them without a second thought, without caring that he’s not supposed to be involved in their lives any more. fuck that, louis is probably getting ripped apart right this second, they need to go.

it takes forever and no time at all to get to the house, zayn and liam joining them somewhere along the way. they don’t acknowledge him, focused on getting back to their house where their alpha and friend is. 

nick’s running faster than he has in years. it’s all due to adrenaline and the fucking awful training he was made to go through once a year. it’s been awhile since then, though, and his lungs are burning by the time they reach the house. 

“hold on, wait,” he chokes out before they all barrel in there with no knowledge of what’s happening. zayn gives him a scalding look and steps towards the door. “wait, there’s someone else in there.” 

“obviously,” liam scoffs. 

“it’s an alpha, the bloodmoon alpha. he’s here for louis,” nick tells him and all the blood rushes out of liam’s face. nick can feel his fear, nearly, can feel the fear of all the boys. can imagine he’s feeling louis’ fear and hurt. 

“you okay?” harry asks and reaches towards him. liam shakes his head a bit. 

“yeah, fine. no time, let’s go.” 

nick doesn’t stop them as they go in, pushes his way to the front even. niall’s yelling as they go in, nearly-incoherent questions: _are you alright? louis? where are you? we’re coming, louis!_ the door bangs behind them, and nick catches sight of a pile of limbs on the floor. 

it’s louis, of course it’s him, half-conscious and bloody. his eyes widen a little when he takes them in and then furrow. the alpha, who looks almost as bad, notices them in the room and stands. he’s smiling even as he sways on his feet. 

“you’re all here. wonderful,” he snarls, his voice rough from fighting, no doubt. 

“louis,” harry whispers and he takes a step towards the boy. nick pushes him back, eyes never leaving the alpha. the alpha bares his teeth, hair wild and blood smeared across his face. 

“harry, careful,” he says, fingers splayed out on his arm. harry edges forward so he’s a little closer to nick. he’s ready to fight, nick can sense it in his stance. 

“you’re friends with a hunter?” the alpha says, an eyebrow raised in amusement. “that’s strange.” 

“you’ve worked with hunters before,” says nick. 

“i’ve not made friends with them.” he glances behind him at louis, shaking his head. “or slept with them, either.” he shifts and his gaze catch on someone behind nick. “ah, liam. lovely. and that one too.” 

“what are you doing here,” liam says evenly, but nick can hear the tremor in it. 

“i’ve come to take you back. surely you didn’t think i’d let you get away so easily.” 

“easily?” zayn spits, temper so hot nick can _taste_ it. “you beat him to a pulp. twice.” 

“how do you know niall?” harry breaks in, voice steely and cold. nick’s never heard it that hard before, never wants to again. 

“i turned him and this one--” he kicks at louis’ leg and the boys draw in a sharp breath as one. “--this one stole him from me. him and liam. it’s fucking embarrassing.” 

“i’m going to kill you,” nick says quietly, and finds that he really means it. the alpha rolls his eyes. 

“you wouldn’t be the first hunter to try.” 

he’s not sure how, but nick’s aware of the boys behind him in a way that’s creepy. he knows that zayn’s going to spring forward any second, and that harry’s going for his legs and they’re young, so young. they haven’t fought anyone, not really. 

this is going to end so badly, unless he moves fast. 

there’s a heartbeat right before then chaos breaks out, four werewolves about to launch themselves at the bloodmoon alpha, but nick dives for the knife that’s just out of louis’ reach. he wraps his fingers around the handle and flings it with as much strength as he can muster. 

it hangs in the air as time slows down, nick’s focus on the blade unwavering. he watches as it flies, straight and true into the alpha’s stomach. the alpha staggers for a minute, and then falls to his knees. 

“zayn, check on louis,” nick orders before dragging the alpha out the kitchen and into the back. he’s unconscious at this point, caught halfway between man and wolf, and more than halfway to dead. nick leaves him on the grass; he doesn’t have time to deal with him now. not when louis is so badly hurt. 

the boys are crowded around him, zayn’s hands pressed to louis’ side in an effort to stop the bleeding. none of them look at nick when he comes back in, but liam’s shoulders stiffen and zayn goes still. 

“we’ve got to call caroline,” harry says a little desperately, trying to find his phone. 

“there’s not enough time,” nick tells them and reaches for louis. zayn and liam snarl when he gets close, and nick snatches his hands away. “i’m trying to help.” 

“what do you know?” zayn asks, voice hard. “harry’s calling caroline--” 

“she’s not going to get here on time, trust me. i had to learn medics as part of my training, please, just let me.” 

zayn watches him for a moment and nick doesn’t think he’s going to give in. but then his eyes drop down and louis is pale, so pale, and zayn nods. 

“if you kill him, i’ll kill you,” he says harshly, leaning away.

“i don’t doubt it.” 

the bleeding’s slowed, at least, so nick’s not worried about him bleeding out, but there’s so many places hurt. he touches his fingers to the worst part and all the boys react, whining and growling and wincing. 

“you’re hurting him,” niall chokes out, shuddering when nick starts cleaning a wound. 

“i know, i’m not trying to,” nick says miserably. 

liam puts a medkit by his elbow and nick gets to work, cleaning all the scrapes and sewing up all the tears. he works faster than he’s ever done, pressing louis’ skin together so it can heal. they’re restless and cagey, and it’s distracting and nerve-wracking to feel the boys wince whenever he touches louis.

zayn growls when nick starts to stitch him up, and liam whines high in his throat. it’s unsettling and nick’s hands are already shaking enough. he can’t deal with this, needs them to trust him.

“harry,” he pleads and harry cautiously glances up from where he’d buried his head in niall’s chest. “i’m just trying to help.” 

“i know,” harry says, and it’s like all the air is getting drawn out of him. all the boys calm at that, settle down enough for nick to work. 

there’s so much to do, and louis is barely breathing through it all. his chest rises and falls the tiniest amount. 

“hold on, love,” nick mutters, over and over as if louis can hear. “hold on, we’ll get you fixed up in no time.” 

eventually, he sits back on his haunches and rubs his hands on the remains of louis’ shirt, stained and ripped. 

“what are you doing?” niall asks and he sighs, swiping at his forehead. 

“can’t do anything else now. we just have to wait. see if he… see if he wakes up.” 

“can caroline--” zayn asks, but nick shuts him off with a shake of his head. 

“don’t think so. he’d be half-healed by the time she could get here, anyway. we just have to let him heal. where’s his room?” 

“here,” liam says, reaching his arms out. he knows he should step back, that this is pack business and he’s most definitely not pack, but the idea of louis being taken away makes the panic rise in his throat. he shakes his head, tightening his grip a tiny bit. liam and zayn raise matching eyebrows. 

“i’ll carry him,” nick says, a tad awkwardly. “just show me where to go.” 

it’s harry that moves eventually, breaking free of niall’s grip to try and offer a watery smile. he beckons to nick and nick follows, louis entirely too still in his arms. he feels like a rag doll and nick’s stomach twists unpleasantly. 

the other boys trail behind and curve themselves around louis’ body when nick puts him down in the massive bed. they give him enough space, but they’re all within arm’s distance of their alpha and each other. 

nick vaguely feels like he’s intruding on something as he watches them all watch louis. niall had changed into a wolf sometime without nick noticing and there’s a palpable tension in the room. 

“excuse me,” he mutters and ducks out of the room as fast as he can. he goes to check on the bloodmoon alpha still in a pile in the back garden. nick nudges him cautiously with a foot and the alpha doesn’t respond. 

he’s dead, because of nick. nick thinks he might be sick. 

he’s got no idea, literally no idea, what to do now. he’d never been apart of cleanup as a hunter, always too sickened by the actual harming. they’d always sent him away to get control of himself. 

he thumbs open his phone and hovers over the call button for a good minute. in the end, he doesn’t have any option. 

the line rings twice before being picked up at the other end. 

“hello?” 

“aimee?” he says, voice shaking. “i need your help.” 

 

he creeps back into louis’ bedroom an hour later. he’d finished his call and had a bit of a snoop around the house, partially because he’s nosy and partially because he’d been dreading going back.

the house is large and a little rundown, but somehow perfect for them all. there’s room for them all to spread out, but it’s small enough that they’re all still in each others’ space. he recognizes harry’s room by the black and white pictures and the stacks of records on the bookshelves. 

zayn’s room smells faintly like cigarette smoke and paint and it’s got graffiti all over the walls. the curtains are uneven, like he couldn’t decide if he wanted them open or shut. there’s pictures everywhere too, of people with zayn’s smile and eyes. 

niall and liam’s room is the cleanest in the house, hands down. niall’s side is meticulously neat, his clothes are hung up by colour and the only mess is the glass of water on the side table. liam’s got a batman print over his headboard and comics stacked under his bed. 

eventually, nick’s worry wins out and he’s back making sure louis is still breathing. 

he is, but barely, it feels like. he’s so pale and the cuts on his body stand out in angry red gashes. there are so many, and mottled bruises too. he’s healing, but louis still looks fucking awful. his chest shudders with every breath like he’s in pain. he probably is; nick’s pretty sure he’d broken a rib or two in the fight. 

nick’s stomach twists again. reaching over harry’s sleeping form, he brushes his fingers against louis’ skin. he’s hot, so hot.

“love, what did you do to yourself?” he murmurs, carefully stroking a particularly nasty bruise blooming on louis’ cheekbone. louis turns into the touch, chasing his hands. 

nick’s heart melts and he realises that he’s not going anywhere for a while. settling into the large armchair, he waits. 

 

the boys are all asleep and the air’s heavy with it, but nick forces himself to stay awake. he doesn’t want louis to wake up and be alone. selfishly, he wants to be the first one to talk to him, but he’s determinedly not thinking about that. 

it’s sometime in the darkest part of the night that louis gives a great shudder and opens his eyes. nick tenses on the chair but doesn’t say anything, lets him get acclimated to being conscious. 

louis starts to sit up and nick’s by his side in a flash, hands on his shoulder to keep him down. 

“oh, no you don’t,” he says and louis snarls at him. there’s no heat to it; louis’ eyes are hazy, but they’re focused on nick’s. “stay down.” 

“i have to—“ louis slurs, trying to sit up again. nick pushes him until he’s flat and cards careful fingers through his hair. 

“you don’t have to do anything but sleep, love,” he says gently. “sleep and heal. okay?” 

“okay,” louis sighs, eyes already fluttering shut. nick waits a few minutes until louis relaxes, frowning even in his sleep, and then he retreats back to the chair. 

 

the next time louis wakes up, it’s just before dawn and nick’s valiantly trying not to nod off. he lifts his head to find louis’ gaze trained on him. it’s sharp and pensive, his eyes bright blue even in the dusky light. 

they just look at each other for a few seconds before nick blinks. a tired smile spreads across his face and louis mimics it before looking at the boys sleeping in a circle around him. 

“they love you, you know,” nick says, voice thick with exhaustion. louis’ eyes flick up to him again. “they love you so, so much. couldn’t get them to bloody settle enough to fix you.” 

“i know,” louis says eventually. he’s trying for wry, but it comes out graver than that, sounds like “i’d die for them.” 

nick doesn’t know what to do with that. he just picks at a hole in his jeans absentmindedly. 

“are they okay?” asks louis and nick looks up at his tone. he’s frowning, eyebrows knitted together. he looks a second away from checking himself but stays down at nick’s warning glance. “they weren’t hurt, were they? i didn’t…. i didn’t want them to get hurt.” 

“they’re fine, all of them. peachy, even.” 

louis puts a hand out to touch niall’s fur, or maybe harry’s hair, and stops. he thinks for a minute and then pulls back, lacing his fingers together instead. 

“i didn’t want them to come,” he says, sounding close to tears. an irrational wave of anger crashes over nick. 

“do you have a death wish?” 

louis pauses, frown getting deeper. 

“no?” 

“then why the hell did you fucking meet the alpha alone? god, louis, you almost died.” his voice catches on the last word. 

“nick…” he says, distressed.

“no, never mind,” nick answers and drags in a deep breath. he’s too tired to deal with this. “you’ll get that enough with the others. we’ll talk about it later. when you’re better and everyone’s awake.” 

louis nods after a second and they sit in silence for a while. louis has gone pale again and he’s clutching at his side. nick’s just about to lean forward and ask if he’s alright when louis starts to talk. 

“I’m a shit alpha,” he says to the ceiling. nick opens his mouth to argue, but louis cuts him off without looking at him. “i am, really. i don’t understand why they trust me so much when i haven’t done anything for them.” 

“s’not true, lou,” liam says and christ, nick hadn’t even known he was awake. louis flinches and his breathing gets heavier, like he’s trying not to cry again. 

“it is, though.” 

“it’s not,” liam tells him firmly. louis twists his head so he’s looking at the corner instead of them. “you saved me, tommo. you saved all of us, in some way.” 

nick watches a tear make its way down louis’ cheek. liam continues on, sneaking his hand into louis’. 

“if it wasn’t for you, i’d have been a fucking punching bag for the rest of my life. niall would’ve been dead, probably. zayn wouldn’t have a best friend and harry’d just be aimless. we need you, louis, so much.” 

“can we—“ louis’ voice catches and he has to try again. “can we not talk about this? it hurts to cry.” 

“of course,” nick says and gives a warning look to liam. liam stares at him for a moment,

“jesus, nick, have you been up the entire night?” 

nick nods, dragging a hand down his face. louis makes a sound at that and he’s looking worried again. 

“why’d you do that?” 

“didn’t want you to wake up alone,” he says, as lightly as he can manage. he gives a little shrug and liam stands up. 

“i’m up now. you can take a nap, yeah? harry won’t mind if you kip in his bed.” 

“yeah,” nick says and his legs are wobbly when he gets to his feet. the room swims a little and the worry on louis’ face gets sharper. “bloody hell.” 

“there’s blood on your shirt,” louis tells him suddenly and nick looks down. he hadn’t noticed. 

“it’s yours, mostly,” he tells him with a wave of a hand. plus a place on his arm where he’d gotten nicked somehow, but that’s not too bad. he’s had worse in his life. louis goes paler. 

“was it that bad?” 

liam and nick both shoot him an unimpressed look and nick’s vision goes a little blurry. liam all but pushes him out of the room and he just manages to strip to his pants before he collapses on the bed. 

 

when he wakes up, harry’s sitting next to him and eating a banana. 

“hiya.” 

“what are you doing here?” nick mumbles, squinting at him blearily. there’s a chance he’s not completely conscious yet.

“it’s my bed,” harry points out mildly. it’s almost like normal, except there’s a tenseness to harry’s shoulders that wasn’t there before. 

“that it is. why’re you frowning like that?” 

“you smell like…. never mind,” harry says, finishing his banana and not taking his eyes off of him. nick pulls the blankets up a little self-consciously. 

“do you have to stare?” 

harry shrugs. nick rolls over onto his stomach with a groan, burying his face in a pillow. he’d like nothing more than to sleep for sixty years. 

tentative fingers brush over his shoulder, harry’s hands a little chilly against nick’s sleep-warm skin. nick freezes. 

“i’ve never seen one,” harry says, tapping nick’s back. “a hunter tattoo, i mean. i’ve just seen pictures.” 

“harry—“ 

“didn’t think i’d be friends with one either.” 

nick shifts so he’s looking at him, lifting up a little of the bed. harry’s still focused on the tattoo. 

“are we still friends, then?” 

a slow smile creeps across harry’s face, cautious. 

“you can’t get rid of me that easily, grimmy,” he says and neither of them mention that it was almost that easy. “there’s lunch, by the way. we’re going to eat in louis’ bed.”

“oh?” 

“yeah. toasties, i think. get crumbs everywhere.” he hesitates, gaze flicking from nick’s face to his shoulder and back again. “you might want to put on a shirt, though. and trousers, but especially a shirt.” 

nick nods, a fresh wave of hatred for his past job washing over him again. 

“can i borrow one, actually? mine’s proper disgusting.” 

“course.” 

harry throws one at his face. joggers follow after, for which nick is immensely grateful. his jeans aren’t too nasty-looking, the black hiding most of the bloodstains. they’d still be awful to put on, crusty probably, and smelly. 

“i believe i was promised toasties,” he says, halfheartedly trying to fix his hair into something resembling a quiff. it doesn’t work, too curly, so he just cards his hand through it instead. harry adjusts a piece and leads him to the kitchen where two of his packmates are sitting. 

liam’s at the stove, spatula in hand. he’s got an apron on that says _kiss the coo_ k. he doesn’t look like he’s in a kissing mood, though. niall’s at the table, palms wrapped around a mug. 

“good morning,” nick says uncertainly. liam gives him a half-wave as harry shoves a cup of coffee at him. 

“it’s past noon, mate,” niall tells him. there’s a tiny amused smile on his face.

“morning to me,” nick says, blushing a little and hiding it in his coffee. it’s really good, made just the way he likes. he gives harry a big smile for it. 

zayn swoops in and gets handed a cup as well, pressing a quick kiss to harry’s cheek in thanks. he kisses liam and niall too before seeing nick. he freezes. 

“you’re still here,” he says, eyes narrowed. 

“i’m still here,” nick agrees. 

“why?” 

“zayn,” harry says warningly, frowning at him. zayn deflates a bit and collapses in the chair next to niall. he’s still alert, even sitting, tracking nick’s every movement with a keen eye. 

“how’s louis,” nick asks instead and everyone’s shoulders go up. 

“why do you care?” zayn says. it’s terrifyingly close to a growl.

blinking a bit, nick tilts his head. 

“pardon, but have i done anything wrong?” 

“zayn’s not forgiven you for putting a tracker on him,” niall answers after a moment filled with silent conversations. 

“i got stabbed because of it,” zayn says sourly and slides down in his chair. he’s still glaring at nick. “i think i have a reason to be upset.” 

“i didn’t give you a tracker.” 

“you gave it to louis, and zayn stole the jacket it was in,” clarifies liam.

“i didn’t have anything to do with that. that tracker doesn’t even work; it’s purely a sentimental thing.” 

“why’d you give it to louis, then?” 

nick looks at his cup, splashes the coffee around a little bit. “wanted him to have something to remember me by, didn’t i?” he says finally, not looking at any of them. “but it didn’t work. that’s not how they found you.” 

“are you sure?” harry asks. nick nods and looks up at him. 

“positive.” 

if he thought it’d make zayn warm up to him, he was wrong. instead, zayn’s expression gets darker and he shoves away from the table to peek over liam’s shoulder. 

“is the food done? louis is starved.” 

“almost,” liam replies, but he’s sliding a sandwich onto a plate. he hands it to zayn and it gets whisked away to the back. the rest of them follow with their own lunches, nick trailing behind. 

louis lights up when they all walk in, looking less peaky than this morning. zayn’s on the bed next to him, plate balanced on the knee, and they all clamber up beside him. it’s easy to see the puppy in them like this. there’s an energy that’s not quite human, vaguely canine. they’d all be wagging their tails if they could and licking louis’ face. 

nick hangs back in the doorway, feeling very much out of place. 

louis looks up suddenly, catching his eye, and he smiles. 

“what’re you hovering there for?” louis calls and nick pulls an affronted face. 

“m’not hovering,” he insists, even though he totally is. he just doesn’t know what to do with himself. louis has a knowing look on his face and he nods to the empty space at the end of the bed. nick sits, hesitantly, and wraps his fingers around louis’ ankle under the duvet. 

the boys are all chattering to each other, comfortable. nick feels like an outsider; he is an outsider. he waits until louis is distracted enough and slips away back to the kitchen. 

he tidies up, for a lack of anything to do, and tries to measure out his breathing so he won’t have to go root for his puff puff. washing the dishes is somewhat therapeutic, but there’s not enough of them to wash. even when he’s wiped down the counters and the table, he still feels off-balanced. 

maybe, he thinks, it’s time to got back to his own flat. the idea’s unappealing, to be stuck away without knowing what’s going on, all by himself and going out of his mind. he doesn’t want to, but he’s not needed here. he’s just getting in the way. 

retreating back to harry’s room, he scoops up his disgusting clothes and puts them in a plastic bag he’d found in the kitchen. he’ll wash what he’s wearing and give them back to harry later. he’s just rooting around for his shoes when there’s a soft knock on the door. 

it’s louis. 

“why are you out of bed?” nick asks, taking in the pallor on louis’ face, the way he sways even with a hand gripping tightly at the door frame. there’s still blood on his shirt. nick can’t tell if it’s old or new. 

“why are you leaving?” louis counters. nick doesn’t know how to answer that. 

“figured you didn’t need me anymore,” he says finally and the crease between louis’ eyebrows gets bigger. “and you’ve already made it clear that you don’t want me around, so. i’m just gonna go.” 

louis doesn’t reply, but steps back a little out of the door so there’s room for nick to get through. it makes his breath catch with pain. 

“please go back to bed,” nick begs, not able to help himself. “you’re hurt, please don’t make it worse.” 

“i didn’t know where you were.” 

“i’m not going to hurt anyone, i promise. i couldn’t. i’ll just leave. you can have liam or zayn or literally anyone else watch me go. just… get in bed. please.” 

he glances up and can see four sets of eyes at the end of the hallway, watching them carefully. louis hesitates for a moment and nods, turns back towards the boys. but he goes too quickly, jars his ribs or pulls at a cut or something, and he stumbles, crying out in pain and throwing out his hand to scrabble at the wall. 

nick’s there before he even registers wanting to move, even before the rest of the pack can get there. louis tips into his side, and nick settles his arm around his waist as gently as possible. 

“hurts,” louis rasps out, pressing his face to nick’s shoulder. the sleeve’s a bit wet. 

“yeah, well,” nick says as he tries to reign his panic back in. “that’s why you shouldn’t be out of bed, love.” 

louis nods wearily and nick starts to shuffle towards the end of the hall, where the boys are waiting. liam reaches out his arms, and louis goes willingly. nick misses the weight against his side as soon as he does. 

the boys close ranks around him, helping the twenty steps back to the bed. nick hovers. again. 

louis is even paler when he’s laying back down, but nick’s not sure if it’s because of the pain or just being against a dark bedspread. reality comes crashing down again and he remembers that louis almost _died,_ that he had been so _still_ on the floor. 

“i have to-- i have to go,” he says abruptly and fights the urge to vomit right there. no one pays attention and so he leaves, as quick as he can.

 

it takes a day, but soon enough there’s a knock on his door. nick takes a moment to drag in a breath and throws it open. 

“grimmy!” aimee nearly shouts, winding her arms around his neck before he has the chance to say anything. she plants a kiss on his cheek. “it’s been too long.” 

“hullo, aims,” he says back and he’s laughing a little. “i’ve missed you.” 

“missed you too, idiot,” she says fondly and kisses him again for good measure before letting go. he gets a good look at the people behind her. 

“you’ve brought reinforcements.” 

“i did.” 

ian and fiona grin and step in for hugs of their own. nick ruffles fiona’s hair and gets a glare. 

“hiya, babes.”

“heard you had a werewolf problem. you can’t ever escape, can you?” fiona says, but it’s teasing.

“i thought you were just here for a visit, silly me.” 

“mixing business with pleasure,” ian says, and rolls his eyes at nick’s arched eyebrow. “not that kind of pleasure, grimshaw.” he twists his fingers together with aimee’s, laughing. 

“where’s the werewolf?” aimee’s bouncing, nearly, always excited to do something. it’d make nick a little sick if he didn’t know her, know that she always did everything in her power to make sure no one was hurt.

“about that. um, he’s dead, actually.” 

“here?” fiona asks, craning her head to eye the flat. “is he stashed under the table?” 

“no, not here. he’s at a… friend’s house. in their garden.” 

“they’re okay with a dead body in their backyard?” asks aimee. 

“they’ve had other things to worry about recently.” 

“i’m guessing they were attacked by the werewolf,” ian says dryly. nick makes a noncommittal sort of gesture. “how long ago?” 

“two days? something like that, yeah.” 

fiona pulls a face. “he’ll be starting to smell, then. lovely. alright, let’s get this over with. lead on, grimmy.” 

nick shoves his feet into his shoes, snags his jacket and keys, and marches out to the street. the other three follow and they bicker all the way to the boys’ house. 

no one’s in sight when they get there. nick’s thankful, doesn’t want his friends to meet the pack. just in case. he leads them round the side of the house to where the body’s still crumpled. 

it does, indeed, smell. nick gags a little bit. 

okay, a lot. it’s been awhile since he handled anything dead. 

the other three work efficiently and quietly. they’re not entirely silent, bantering a little between them, but it’s not loud enough to bring attention to themselves. 

“nicholas,” aimee says lowly after a moment. “nicholas, this is the bloodmoon alpha.” 

“so it is.” 

“how the fuck did you get tangled up with _him?_ who do you know that’s crossed the bloodmoon alpha? fuck, how did you even kill him?” 

“i had help,” nick says. it’s the first thing that pops into his mind. aimee’s eyebrows shoot up her forehead. 

“ _help?_ why did you call us sooner, you fucking--” 

“there wasn’t time!” 

“you put innocent humans at risk!” 

“they weren’t--” 

“what’s going on?” someone demands and nick freezes. he knows that voice. 

“louis,” he says. “why are you out of bed again _?”_

aimee’s eyebrows are still at the top of her head, and now fiona’s are too. ian’s head is whipping with alarming speed between louis in the door and nick in the garden. louis narrows his eyes.

“i was making sure there wasn’t any danger. pardon me for investigating strangers in me own garden.” 

“you’re hurt.” 

“i’m aware of that, thank you.” 

he takes a step forward and the other boys spill out behind him, looking entirely too fierce for the situation. 

fiona sucks in a breath. 

“oh, grimmy. you didn’t tell us you found a _pack_.” 

nick’s eyes snap to louis and it’s like he can read every thought that goes through his head. it takes a second for louis to realise what’s been said, but he tenses and shoves zayn farther behind him. the boys catch on quickly, shifting their weight and never taking their eyes off the four. 

fiona, aimee, and ian tense as well, fingers flying to weapons hidden under clothes. they don’t draw, not yet, and that’s a small mercy. 

nick steps in between the two groups, arms stretched out placatingly. 

“this is not what it looks like. to either of you.” 

“really?” aimee says and she hasn’t taken her eyes off of liam once. “cause it looks like you needed our help in more ways than one.” 

harry snarls. it’s a frightening gesture, one that nick’s never seen on him and would prefer to never see again. 

“thought you said you would never try to kill us, nick,” louis says quietly. 

nick’s heart squeezes a little at the expression on his face, at the implication that nick would even think about trying to kill the boys. 

_his_ boys. 

“they’re just here to help, louis. to get rid of the body and do a little clean up. i needed some extra hands.” 

“aw, grim, thought i was more to you than that,” ian mutters in an effort to relieve the stress. it doesn’t work. 

“if everyone can just calm down, please--”

niall snorts. “little hard to do, mate, when your friends are getting ready to attack us.” 

nick checks behind him and it’s not true, not really. aimee’s got her knife in her hand, but it’s more of a defence thing.

“best to be prepared for anything,” aimee replies, as casually as she can. it still sounds forced. “especially when dealing with a pack of unstable werewolves.” 

“they aren’t unstable.”

“hmm,” fiona says and she looks unconvinced. to her credit, liam can be very menacing when he wants to be. 

louis sways a little bit, still pale, still fierce. the gash on his forehead stands out even though it’s half healed, and the bruises under his eyes are darker in the sunlight. nick’s heart twists again. 

“we’ll just clean up, alright?” nick says, and his voice catches a little bit. “and then we’ll leave you alone and won’t come back.” 

an emotion nick can’t identify flashes across louis’ face before he nods once. 

“okay,” louis says, shifting back and relaxing a miniscule amount. the boys behind him relax as well, but nick can still read the edge in their postures. he nods as well, dropping his arms. 

“you can put that away now,” he says softly, motioning to aimee’s knife. she frowns but sheathes it, her eyes never dropping from the cluster of boys. her fingers flex. 

“do you boys mind going inside?” ian says after a minute, trying for lighthearted. it almost works. “it’s hard to do our jobs with an audience.” 

“especially one who’ll attack you once you turn your back,” fiona adds under her breath. nick frowns at her and so does harry. 

“we won’t do anything--” 

“harold,” louis interrupts softly, “why don’t you, niall, and liam go to the shops and pick us up some milk? i think we’re almost out.” 

harry and louis look at each other for a minute, a wordless conversation playing out between them. eventually, harry sighs, dropping his gaze. he gives a miniscule nod, glaring at the ground, and lets niall pull him away. nick watches them go with a heart that’s aching. 

when it’s just zayn and louis, everyone relaxes a bit-- fiona and aimee and ian because they’ve got the upper hand in numbers, and zayn and louis because they’ve sent their pack away.

louis lets out a sigh that sounds like it’s pulled from his core, heavy with pain and stress, and sags against zayn. 

“lou,” nick says and louis flinches the tiniest bit. “please, go rest. i won’t let anything happen to anyone.” 

they lock eyes for a long moment and it feels like louis is turning his brain inside out, looking for _something_. nick lets him, tries to be as open as he can. anything to get louis off his feet.

“i don’t think i can get there on my own,” he admits and pulls a face. nick watches the indecision play out on zayn’s face, torn between helping his friend and watching to make sure the hunters don’t attack. he’s stepping forward before he even realises what he’s doing. 

“i’ll help, you stay here. yeah?” nick says with his arms out. louis goes willingly, leaning against nick’s side with a sigh. zayn still looks worried. 

“zayn. it’ll be okay,” louis tells him firmly. 

he doesn’t answer, but takes a step to the side and lets nick take all of louis’ weight. 

nick raises his voice a little to speak to his friends who are all looking uncomfortable. “i’ll be right back.”

“always trying to get out of the dirty work, aren’t you,” fiona teases and blows him a kiss when he sniffs. 

“excuse me for helping a mate out!” 

aimee laughs, making a little shooing motion with her hand. “go, and get back quickly.” 

it’s like deja vu, the two of them carefully making their way into the house, but nick can’t place when exactly it’s reminiscent of. louis takes slow steps, all his energy drained from the confrontation outside. he’s breathless when they get to the bedroom. 

“you’re such an idiot,” nick says when he notices the pallor to louis’ face. 

louis bristles. 

“you brought three hunters to my house. how did you think i was going to react?” he replies even as he climbs into the bed. nick only briefly thinks about climbing in there with him. 

“you could’ve sent someone else to check it out.” 

“no, i couldn’t have.” 

“you’re not indestructible, love,” nick says. “and you almost died. you can’t just go gallivanting off whenever you feel like it.” 

louis scrunches his nose, looking mutinous. 

“i don’t _gallivant,_ nicholas.” 

“whatever you say.” 

“i don’t!” louis insists, and for a moment it’s like before everything went to shit. nick leans forward and presses a kiss to louis’ forehead before he can think it through, and even the momentary contact has his nerves on edge. 

“i miss you,” he whispers, the words slipping out without his permission. he always was bad at self control around louis. “sorry, i shouldn’t have said it, but fuck. i miss you so much.” 

louis doesn’t reply, just squeezes his eyes together. nick knows a cue to leave when he sees one. he can’t help himself still, and he kisses louis again, this time on the cheek. 

“nick, wait,” louis says suddenly, brokenly, reaching for him. nick hesitates and louis surges up, their lips catching on each other. 

louis’ hand slides down to cradle his face, thumbing over his cheekbone. it’s as sweet as it’s quick, gentler than nick thought was possible. his breathing’s gone ragged, even from this, and it’d be embarrassing if louis’ skin wasn’t hot against his. something very much like _i love you_ wants to well up, but that’d be ridiculous and awful and way too soon. 

he swallows the words. 

louis is still watching him, bottom lip caught between his teeth and a question written between his brows. nick touches the furrow and he softens a little bit, smiling faintly. 

“i wish---” 

“yeah,” nick breathes out, sliding his finger down to tap at louis’ nose. louis wrinkles it, smiling bigger, and sags against the pillows. it’s too close, too intimate for what they are, and the wanting sits on nick’s skin like a blanket. 

“i’ve got to go now. they’ll, um. they’ll yell at me if i skip out.” the mention of his friends brings a frown back to louis’ face. “i meant what i said. we’ll just clean up and we’ll leave.” 

“i can’t let anything happen to the boys,” he answers. “i’m their alpha, and i can’t be responsible for them getting hurt.” 

“i know.” 

they stare at each other for a heartbeat, possibilities spinning out between them. nick can see alternate futures on different strings, good and bad. he just has to pick one. 

louis chooses for him, tilting his chin up and wordlessly asking for a kiss. nick gives in, he can’t help it, intending it to be a peck. louis has other ideas; he chases after nick’s touch and deepens the kiss, sucking and biting nick’s lip. nick shivers, twines his fingers in louis’ hair, and ignores the warnings going off in his head. 

if the first kiss was gentle, this one’s the opposite-- harsh and oh so desperate. louis’ locks his arms around nick’s neck and drags him down until there’s not a breath left between their bodies. nick can feel louis’ heartbeat against his chest, strong and steady when it had been so weak a few days ago, and it’s that more than anything that startles him from the kiss. 

louis pouts a little when nick pulls away, his hair a mess and his mouth red. nick’s sure his own mouth is red too; it feels a little swollen already. louis goes to say something but stops himself, eyes fixed on the door. 

nick twists to see zayn there. he’d obviously seen them snogging and was obviously not pleased by it. he doesn’t say a word, just looks at them with a raised eyebrow. flushing, nick stands up and starts to walk out. he stumbles a little a pair of shoes lying out, and louis lets out a strangled half-laugh.

zayn doesn’t move when nick comes close, forcing nick to squeeze around him. he does follow him down the hallway and out the door, though, eyes burning a hole in nick’s neck. 

“there you are,” aimee calls when she spots him. her hair’s up and there’s a streak of dirt along her cheek. “slacking off as usual, i see.” 

nick shrugs and hopes his snogging session isn’t written across his face. judging from fiona’s expression, it’s clear as day. 

“what can i do?” 

ian throws a shovel at him and nods towards the hole already half-done. 

“finish that, and then you can help me move the body. nice camouflaging it, mate. sticking a bunch of branches over it isn’t suspicious at all.” 

“i was in a hurry,” nick mutters as the other three laugh and he thinks about throwing a shovelful of dirt in their direction. he’s much more mature than that, though, so he just lets it daintily fall on the pre-existing pile. 

they work quickly and efficiently. their hands know what to do, as much as nick hates that. soon, the bloodmoon alpha is no more than a memory, a nightmare brushing on the fringes of their minds, an uneasy feeling across their spine. nick breathes a little easier. 

straightening and wincing at the twinge in his back, he gives a salute to zayn. 

“we’re done. you can tell your fearless leader we’re going now.” 

“i’ll tell him when he wakes up,” zayn answers, voice sharp. he hasn’t forgiven nick for the dead tracker, then. 

“how do you know he’s asleep?” fiona asks curiously, pushing a stray piece of hair out of her face. “you’ve been with us the entire time.” 

zayn gives her a blank look. “i just do.” 

“freaky werewolf mindreading, i’d wager,” nick says sagely. a faint glimmer of mischief appears in zayn’s eyes. 

“actually, i can hear him snoring from here. he’s really fucking loud.” 

there’s a second of surprised silence before ian lets out a chuckle. 

“i like you, mate. not too bad for a werewolf.” 

“and you’re decent enough for a hunter,” zayn deadpans, reaching out to slap ian’s hand. nick feels like he’s missed something, but doesn’t bother figuring out what. not worth it, really. 

aimee rolls her eyes. “come on, oh lad of mine. i want a shower.” 

zayn doesn’t wave, but he watches them go with his lips turned towards a smile. 

 

they wash the dirt off their clothes and shampoo the smoke out of their hair, taking turns in nick’s tiny shower, and crowding into his kitchen for tea afterwards. 

nick’s halfway through his cup when aimee finally cracks. 

“how long have you been sleeping with the alpha of that pack?” she asks and he chokes on his mouthful. her arms are crossed and her eyebrows are cocked. she’s quite terrifying when she wants to be. 

“sorry?” 

she narrows her eyes. 

“how long.” 

“it was just once, a while ago now.” 

“mmm,” she murmurs and her gaze feels like it’s peeling back his skin to show all his secrets. “it goes against everything we stand for, you know.”

“everything _you_ stand for,” he corrects softly. “i’m not a part of that anymore.”

“i thought you were on a break, not gone forever. you can’t just stop being a hunter, nick.” 

“i can, and i will.” 

he takes a sip of his tea for lack of anything to do, and doesn’t make eye contact. she watches him for a moment and drags in a breath, shock splashing across her face. 

“you’re in love with him,” she says. it’s not a question. 

“i--” 

“don’t lie to me, nicholas.” 

he thinks about it for a minute, but she knows him too well. deflating, he slumps back against the counter and sighs. 

“yeah.” 

“fucking hell,” fiona says, shaking her head. 

“nick, he’s a werewolf,” aimee says. 

“don’t you think i know that?” snaps nick and the three startle back a little. “it’s always on my mind. i can’t forget it, and i can’t forget my training that says he’s a fucking danger to everyone around him. but also…” he takes in a breath and holds it for a moment, tries to get his emotions to settle a little bit. “but also he’s one of the best people i know. fierce, and loyal as anything, and funny and--” 

“christ,” fiona murmurs. her eyes are wide. “you really do love him.” 

“i might,” he admits. 

“is that why you don’t want to be a hunter anymore?” ian asks gently. 

“no,” nick says, looking down at his hands. they’re scrubbed raw in an attempt to clean the lingering blood off. it didn’t quite work, he thinks. “well, yes. but also no.”

“because that makes a _lick_ of sense,” says aimee, sarcastic, but not as harsh as it could be. she comes up in front of him and puts her hands on his shoulders, making him look at her straight in the face. “let it be known that i think you’re an idiot, but also i can see you care about him a stupid amount.”

“a stupid amount,” he repeats, agreeing. “not sure if he feels the same, though.” 

no one says anything to that. nick fiddles with a loose thread on his shirt, a spoon on the counter, a piece of his hair. the silence is unusual and unnatural; generally when they’re all together they’re laughing and chatting and filling the space with noise. 

“well, i’m starving,” aimee announces finally. “shall i call for takeaway?” 

 

nick’s just straightening up a little, the others out exploring the city a bit, when he hears a knock. it’s soft, hesitant. pig goes mental anyway, yapping at the door like it’s murdered her mother or summat. he pushes her aside with his foot to pull it open. 

“harry,” he says in surprise. harry smiles at him nervously. 

“hiya.” pig breaks loose and makes a beeline for harry, tail wagging excitedly and sniffing anywhere she can reach. harry bends down to scratch at her, laughing at her enthusiasm. “i smell like her,” he explains and looks up at nick who’s currently stunned. it takes a moment for his words to sink in. 

“oh, yeah. cause like…” he waves a vague hand in harry’s general direction, “werewolf.”

“yeah. werewolf.” harry stands up and shoves his hands into his jacket pockets, tilting his head. “aren’t you going to invite me in?” 

nick steps to the side so harry can pass, still extremely confused. harry toes off his shoes and sweeps his gaze around the room, lingering on the knife fiona left on the coffee table. 

“what are you doing here?” nick asks, finally shoving the door closed. harry doesn’t turn around but his shoulders tense a little. 

“are you by yourself?” 

“um, yeah. everyone else had a… thing.” 

harry nods once, jerkily, twisting to look at him. 

“you’re not going to try and kill me, are you?” 

the fact that he even has to ask makes something twist painfully in nick’s chest. he shakes his head. 

“i don’t do that anymore.” 

“try to kill me, or try to kill werewolves?” 

“either. i don’t kill anymore, full stop. can barely eat meat, if we’re being honest.” 

harry shifts so that they’re facing each other. his hands are still in his pockets. 

“i’m tired of being your enemy.” 

nick swallows around the lump in his throat and lets out a little half-serious laugh. “never were, love.” 

harry searches his face for a long moment, looking desperate, and then throws himself forward. he hugs him so tightly nick can barely breathe, tucking his head into nick’s neck and curling up so he fits in nick’s arms. 

nick’s taken off guard for a second, not knowing what to do with an armful of harry styles. he squeezes back soon enough and feels all the tension leech out of his shoulders. pig’s still dancing around their feet. 

“missed you,” harry murmurs into his neck. “so much.” 

“missed you too, mate,” 

they’re quiet for a few seconds before it gets too uncomfortable. harry’s got a smile on when he pulls back, and pig jumps up to paw at his leg. nick opens his mouth to scold her, and closes it when harry collapses on the ground to play with her. 

“you going to tell me why you came, harold?” nick asks after a moment. 

“told you already. i missed your ugly mug.” 

nick snorts and leans down to ruffle his hair, messing it up so it’s all frizzy. 

“much better,” he says, satisfied. harry pouts at him as he tries to fix it. 

“who are you friends, then? i know they’re hunters, but they’re your mates too, yeah?” 

“um, yeah,” nick says, sitting next to harry on the floor. he leans back against the wall and plays with someone’s discarded shoe. “they’re my mates. we went through training together, and… dunno, bonded.” 

“training?” harry asks, frowning. nick pinks a bit and glances down at his lap. “oh, you mean, like, hunter training. killing and stuff.”

nick sneaks a glance at him. harry looks simultaneously intrigued and terrified. 

“not just,” he says as mildly as he can. “we learned a lot of other things too, some medical stuff, self-defence, tracking and the like. i’m a very well rounded individual.” 

“mm, sure grimmy.” 

he elbows him in the ribs, and harry winces theatrically. harry doesn’t ask about anymore of the dirtier side of nick’s former occupation, but he’s a bit quieter playing with pig. nick doesn’t push, lets him stay in his own head. the last thing nick wants to do is push.

nick stays on the ground for a total of fifteen minutes before his legs fall asleep. 

“oh, bloody hell, _fuck._ ”

“you alright?” harry says, amused. 

“no, i am _not._ my entire lower half’s on pins and needles. shit, i’m in pain,” he yelps as he jumps from foot to foot. it’s not the worst pain he’s felt, but it’s radiating up and down his legs and he thinks his knees might give out. he resolves to fall on harry if he does topple over. 

harry nudges at him with his foot, because he’s a little shit. 

“you could have some sympathy,” nick tells him and harry buries his grin in pig’s fur. 

 

nick’s two lives almost don’t cross. 

he’s in the kitchen still, rummaging around for something to eat when the door swings open, three sets of footsteps tramping on the landing. panic rushes through him, freezing him into place, and it’s only when he remembers that harry’s by himself in the other room does he move. 

“nicholas,” aimee says carefully, not taking her eyes off of harry. he’s curled up on the sofa, trying and failing to appear relaxed. aimee, ian, and fiona are in the doorway, watching him warily. “there’s a dog on the furniture.” 

“ _aimee_ ,” nick says, aghast, as harry glowers. 

“m’not a dog,” he tells her lowly. it’s close enough to a growl that it makes shivers go down nick’s spine. aimee, fiona and ian tense. 

“could’ve fooled me,” mutters fiona, and there’s about thirty seconds where nick holds his breath. harry looks like he’s considering something, eyebrows pulled together the way it does when he’s deep in thought. after a moment, he lets out a tiny little bark. 

nick can’t help himself, he starts to laugh, and ian soon follows. aimee gives up her fierce expression and fiona grins. harry’s got a self-satisfied expression on his face. 

“this is harold,” nick announces, sweeping his hand towards the boy on the sofa and ignoring harry’s protest at the name. “he’s not a dog, but he _is_ a good friend.”

ian drops on the side opposite, close enough to show he tentatively trusts harry but far enough that he’s out of arm’s reach. 

“did your mum name you hairy on purpose?” he asks and harry’s face goes through four different emotions in ten seconds. nick leaves them to their puns and goes back, fiona following him. 

“i hate cleanup jobs,” she says, sighing and flipping on the kettle. “i feel like a maid.” 

“should get you one of them outfits, yeah?” says nick and pokes her in the side. 

“don’t you dare.” 

“i think you’d look adorable in a hat and a skirt.” 

fiona gives him a dark glare, sneering at him from across the room. he laughs as he pulls out five mugs, lining them up neatly on the counter. 

“reckon aimee will want tea?” 

she thinks it over for a bit and nods, tapping a nail on the countertop. 

“you’ll be careful, yeah? with the werewolf pack in town?” 

“fiona hanlon, are you worried about me?” 

“shut up,” she mutters and gives him a halfhearted shove. “they could be dangerous.” 

“they’re all teenage boys, fifi. they’re not dangerous.” she looks unconvinced. nick sighs. “honestly, if they haven’t killed me yet, i don’t think they will.” 

“only you would fall in love with a werewolf, grimmy,” she says after a moment, laughing a little. “only you.” 

 

aimee and ian and fiona soon leave, pulled to other places with other messes, and nick’s left by himself again. 

he hates being by himself. admittedly, he needed it for a while after he got out, needed to get his head straight and his priorities sorted, but the loneliness settles on his skin like an itch. 

he visits harry at the bakery and avoids the market liam and niall work at, and the café zayn works at. just because he’s reconciled with one pack member doesn’t mean he’s good with the rest. and those three scare him, not that he’d admit it. 

louis scares him the most. he’s not sure what he’d do if he saw louis, not sure what _louis_ would do. nick’s not strong enough to handle louis telling him to fuck off again, not when he means it. 

he’s not sure when louis managed to work himself so completely into his heart, but there’s not any chance of him leaving anytime soon. when nick loves, he does without letting go. 

harry seems to understand what nick feels, even when nick himself can’t quite figure it out. he talks about louis carefully, little offhanded comments to let nick know that he’s healing and okay. but usually is stories are littered with other people: niall’s silly adventures, or liam’s newest music obsession, or zayn’s latest art piece. 

nick drinks it in and pretends he’s not burning up from the inside out. 

 

of all people, nick did not expect niall horan to be slouched against the door to his flat, chin tucked into his collar and shivering in the late autumn chill. nick slows to a stop. 

“um.” 

“you going to let me in, mate?” niall says cheerfully, teeth chattering a bit. “i won’t stay long, just going to warm up a little.” 

“why’d you come over?” nick asks as he unlocks the door. niall spills into the flat with a tumble and a muffled curse. 

“was close by, thought i could say hello.” 

“really.” 

niall grins at him, no trace of deception in his eyes. but nick knows better. 

“really,” niall echoes. he snags a blanket from the living room and wraps it around his shoulders. “also, i wanted to know why you were being a twat.” 

“‘scuse me?” nick says, half laughing in surprise. niall’s unapologetic. 

“we haven’t seen you in _ages_. louis is getting mopey and it’s getting boring, honestly.” 

“sorry, what?” 

“did we do something?” 

“i really don’t understand.” 

niall fixes him with a look. 

“you’ve been avoiding us,” he says patiently. “don’t think we haven’t noticed. harry said to just let you be until you snapped out of it, but louis is in a mood already because he’s still housebound, and i figured i should do my part.” 

nick sits down on the armchair, his head whirling a little. 

“louis told me to stay away from you all,” he manages.

“that was before you saved his life, yeah? proved you weren’t out to kill us and whatever. plus do you think harry would hang out with you if we thought you were dangerous?” 

“that’s… a point. i just didn’t think you wanted me around.” 

niall snorts. “louis must be a pretty awful kisser to drive you away.” 

“i didn’t want to intrude,” nick says finally and niall rolls his eyes. 

“reckon harry’s about to adopt you at this point. come round for dinner? liam’s making spagbol, and he always makes a lot extra.” 

“oh, well. if it’s spagbol.” 

niall laughs and it startles one out of nick as well, running his hands through his hair. 

“it’ll be done around seven, yeah?” 

“yeah,” nick says and niall flashes him a grin. 

“good. thanks for the tea, mate.” 

and with that, he shrugs on his jacket and leaves with a wave, the door clicking gently behind him. nick blinks at the floor and thinks about what he just promised. his heart feels like it’s going to sink and beat out of his chest all at once. 

he makes a mental note to bring his puff puff. he might need it before the day’s done. 

 

when harry opens the door, he’s breathless and covered in flour. 

“um, hi?” nick says, confused, and harry laughs at him. 

“we’re in the middle of a food fight. watch out for lou; he got into the ketchup.” 

“oh no.”

“oh _yes,_ ” louis says, appearing in the hallway to the kitchen. he’s got two squirt bottles in his hand and a maniacal look on his face. 

nick honestly considers turning around and leaving. but then harry’s grabbing him to use him as a shield and louis is hesitating. 

“how’d this start, then?” he asks, mostly to harry who’s cowering behind him. 

“how it always starts,” harry says back and glares at louis over nick’s shoulder. “louis got bored.” 

“you threw tomatoes at me!” louis says, outraged. 

“because you were being annoying! and they were little chopped up pieces. plus, you tried to shoot ketchup in my face.” 

“i did nothing of the sort,” he says even as he’s brandishing his ketchup. harry cowers again. 

“alright, here’s what i’m going to do,” harry whispers, mouth right by nick’s ear. it tickles. “i’m going to shove you into louis, and then when he’s distracted, i’m going to run. on three, yeah?” 

“wait, no--” 

“three!” he roars and pushes nick with an upper body strength nick honestly didn’t know he had. it throws him off balance and he goes flying into louis. louis steadies him with a hand and then snatches it away as soon as he realises nick’s not going to fall. 

“you’re not going to cover me in ketchup, are you?” he blurts out. it’s the first thing he can think of to say. louis smiles tentatively, shaking his head a little. 

“nah, saving it for harry. maybe niall, or liam if he’s being a prat.” 

“good.”

“yeah.” 

there’s a weighted silence that nick doesn’t know how to process. louis is still looking at him and they’re so close to each other. louis’ tongue darts out to wet his lips and nick’s breathing kicks up a notch, he can’t help it. he leans forward, just a little, and they’re still standing _so close_. 

there’s a yelp from the direction of the kitchen and it breaks the spell, the two of them jumping apart like they’ve been caught. disappointment sweeps across louis’ face for a quarter of the second before it’s replaced with determination. 

“are you going to help me or not?” he says, offering one of the bottles. 

“am i going to get dirty if i do?” 

“oh, absolutely. but you’re not safe even if you don’t, so might as well join in the fun, really.” 

“good point,” nick admits and takes the ketchup. they burst into the kitchen to find a warzone. liam’s huddling protectively over the stove, glaring at anyone who comes near. harry’s on one side with eggs clutched in his hands, and niall is on the other with a half-empty sack of flour in his arms. they’re at a standstill, zayn looking mutinous in the middle. 

“for the record,” zayn says evenly, glaring at louis when he notices them come in, “i hate you so much.” 

louis grins, and it’s wild and joyful and ridiculous, and nick’s breath catches a bit. 

“then you can leave the pack.” 

“thinking about it.” 

“well, let us send you off. now, boys!” 

harry throws his eggs, and niall hurls handfuls of flour. nick’s squeezing his bottle before he knows what he’s doing and louis is cackling like mad beside him. 

zayn is covered in food, but he manages to look haughty even with egg sliding down his face and ketchup in his hair. 

“i’m going to kill you all,” he announces to the room at large. liam makes a noise of agreement. “slowly. bit by tiny bit, i’m going to kill you.” 

niall throws one last handful. it hits zayn on his cheek, sticking the mess already there. zayn turns his head to give niall the evil eye. 

“you first, horan.” 

niall just laughs and blows a kiss. zayn growls, throwing up his hands, and stomps out of the kitchen. 

“go follow him, payno,” harry says over his giggles. “i’ll watch the food but he’s not upset at you.” 

liam does, but not without trying to pinch at louis’ chest. his back is flecked with red and white. louis looks infinitely pleased with himself. 

“now that that’s settled, time to clean up the mess. nialler, i’m just going to go--” 

“no chance, tommo,” niall answers, catching louis’ arm before he can disappear. “you started this mess.” 

“ _technically_ , that was harry,” louis grumbles, but he tears off a paper towel and starts wiping down the kitchen. nick grabs one as well, scrubbing at the mess on the counter. 

they make quick work of it, the three boys bantering back and forth as they clean, and nick just staying quiet. he’s taking it all in, watching how they work, figuring out how they all fit together again. 

louis goes paler and paler as they work, lips pressing together, until niall takes the towel from his hand. 

“you still in pain?” he asks quietly and louis nods, eyes flitting to nick and back. 

“the medication’s worn off,” he answers, even quieter, and niall presses a kiss to his forehead. 

“h?” he says but harry’s already pulled out the paracetamol and shakes out two pills. louis swallows them dry, thumping his head against the counter. 

nick cocks an eye at the bottle and harry gives a sheepish shrug. 

“it’s the strongest thing we could think to give him without going to hospital,” harry tells him. “too many questions for a&e. but it works well enough.” 

“can you get up?” nick says. louis squints up at him with a puzzled expression on his face. “i mean, just like. you’d be more comfortable on the sofa or summat, not here on the floor.” 

“don’t tell me what to do, nicholas,” louis mumbles, but he offers up his hands so nick can pull him up. 

“you’re all or nothing, aren’t you?” nick says quietly and louis lets out a little grunt. 

“was feeling better this afternoon. think i overdid it a little.” 

“no more food fights until you’re one hundred percent healed, alright?” 

louis rolls his eyes and slides onto the sofa. “yes, doctor grimshaw.” 

“what’s taking you so long, anyway? i thought you had weird werewolfy healing powers.” 

“the worse it is, the longer it takes to heal,” zayn answers, coming into the room with wet hair and a new outfit on. at nick’s look at surprise, he scoffs. “what, you didn’t know that? thought you knew everything about werewolves.” 

“i never said that. and they don’t teach that much about werewolf healing, besides.” 

“what do they teach, then?” 

“mostly how to kill as quick as possible,” nick says sharply. he instantly regrets it when both zayn and louis wince. “kill or be killed, yeah?” 

“no,” zayn shoots back, but he leaves it at that. nick sighs a little. he’s not ready to go very deeply into his old ways, not again. 

“dinner’s ready,” harry says, before the tense silence can really take hold. “payno says the spagbol’s not ruined because of our shenanigans, so that’s positive.” he drops a kiss onto louis’ hair. “i’ll bring you a plate, yeah?” 

“thanks, love.” 

harry gives him a salute and then motions to nick. “c’mon, the trick is to get your plate before niall can finish off what’s left. otherwise you’ll be stuck with just bread or summat.” 

the food is good, nothing fancy but nick likes that. it's like a proper family meal, them all sat together in the lounge with plates in the laps, talking over each other with food in their mouths. it feels like a home. 

 

nick gets the shock of his life when a wolf trots out into the lounge and sits in front of him, tail wagging gently. nick freezes, all his instincts telling him he’s in danger. 

“ _harry,_ ” zayn says lowly and he looks up to see the four other boys watching him with different levels of distrust. niall’s just a little uneasy, but zayn’s full-on glaring. nick looks down again and realises he’s talking to the wolf next to him. 

the wolf snuffles a sound like a laugh and lets out a little bark. 

“harry,” zayn says again, and it sounds like a warning. harry closes his eyes, so zayn tries a new tactic. “louis?” 

louis shrugs a shoulder, eyes still watching nick. nick catches his gaze and doesn’t let it go. tentatively, he holds out a hand and puts it into harry’s fur, petting gently. harry yelps again and runs in a circle, chasing his tail. 

“does this happen often?” he asks, looking back at louis. louis softens a little bit and his eyes crinkle at the sides. niall lets out a laugh and even liam’s smiling. 

“he’s an idiot,” louis says fondly as harry gives up and climbs up onto the sofa. he settles himself next to nick, pressing closer. he hums a little, a rumbly sort of noise that tickles nick’s leg. 

“harry likes to be a wolf when he gets cuddly,” niall tells him, poking at harry’s side with his foot. 

“thinks he’s a bloody lapdog,” grumbles liam. “won’t leave anyone alone.” 

zayn huffs out a noise and picks up a book that’s on the table beside him. he looks like he’s deeply engaged but nick sees the little glances thrown his way whenever he so much as twitches. 

harry’s hot as a human, and runs hotter as a wolf, but the heat pressing into nick’s leg is nice. he puts his head on nick’s knee to grin up at him, tongue lolling out of his mouth in a very wolfy expression. nick can still read harry in his face, though, in the way his eyes dance like he’s laughing. it’s comforting somehow. reminds him that they’re still human even when they’re wolves. 

liam settles on the sofa as well, still reserved but nick appreciates the show of trust. niall sprawls on the carpet, tickling liam’s feet every so often. liam kicks him gently in the shoulder. 

“you’re a menace,” he tells him and just gets a smile in return. 

“learned from the best,” niall answers cheerfully, waving a hand in louis’ direction. louis gives a salute from the armchair. 

it’s so normal and ordinary, and nick can almost ignore the thread of uneasiness running under all their words.

they turn on a film and everyone nods off, falling asleep one by one until it’s only nick awake. and louis. 

“hey,” he says and nick looks up in surprise. louis is hovering by the arm of the sofa, a question written on his face. “um, do you want to, like,” he shoves a hand through his hair as he searches for the right word, “talk?” 

“oh. might be a good idea, yeah?” 

louis nods and nick tries to scramble to his feet without disturbing anyone. harry opens an eye to evaluate him and goes back to sleep, deciding it’s not worth the trouble. louis leans over to stroke at the fur of his neck a little. 

“what do you want to talk about?” 

louis glances at the sleeping boys and wraps his hand around nick’s wrist. “not here.” he tugs him out to the back garden, sitting on the porch and lighting a cigarette. “want one?” 

nick takes it, just to have something to do with his hands. it’s soothing, at least, and he sucks on the end greedily. 

it’s a beautiful night, even though it’s chilly. the stars are out, and the moon’s almost full, and it’s light enough that nick can see louis’ profile clearly. it’s quite a nice profile, nick’s got to admit. louis is quite beautiful. 

as if he knows nick’s thinking about him, louis tilts his head towards him. 

“you saved my life,” he says quietly, but it sounds as loud as a gunshot in the quiet. of all things, nick was not expecting that. 

“i did,” he answers, because he doesn’t know what else to say. louis frowns. 

“why?” 

“why? why not?” 

louis faces forward again, hugging his legs and taking another drag on his cigarette. “you’re a hunter, and i’m a werewolf. it would’ve saved you some trouble, just letting me die.” 

“that’s where you’re wrong, love. on a lot of points. first and foremost, i’m not a hunter anymore. can’t do it, can’t kill… people,” he says, shuddering a little at the thought. “and i quite like you a lot, so i wasn’t just going to let you die.” 

“seriously?” 

“slept with you, didn’t i? was rather gutted when you left in the middle of the night.”

louis puts his head on his knees and turns his chin towards nick again. 

“were you really?” 

“i don’t like waking up alone,” nick tells him lightly. “and then you went and disappeared on me. i understand why you did it, now, but it was not a nice time. but we’re talking about you, not me.” 

“you gave me that tracker.” 

“because i’m an idiot, and i didn’t want you to forget about me.” 

“could never do that,” louis says so quietly nick almost misses it. he doesn’t think he’s meant to hear that, so he pretends he didn’t, stubbing the end of his cig on the porch. he turns back to watch louis, watches him wince as he twists too fast and remembers. 

“louis, why did you try to face the alpha alone?” 

louis jumps and hunches his shoulders. “thought you’d forgotten about that.” 

“about your death wish?” nick says with a snort. “not bloody likely.” 

louis lights another cigarette. 

“i fucked it up. i fucked a lot up, and i didn’t want anyone to get hurt because of my mistake.” 

“so what? you thought that you would fight him by yourself and win?” 

“no,” he mumbles around his cigarette. he blows a stream into the air and follows it with his eyes, resolutely not looking at nick. 

“oh, so you thought that you would sacrifice yourself? and then what? he’d have killed you and then killed the boys. maybe, _maybe_ he would’ve let them live but pulled them into his pack. louis, what were you _thinking?_ ” nick says angrily. he can’t help it, the memory of louis in a heap on his floor won’t leave his fucking mind. 

“i don’t know what i thought,” louis snaps, and nick can see the outline of his clenched jaw even in the low light. “i just didn’t want anyone to get hurt because of me.” 

“why because of you?” 

“i stole from him, he said.” louis sounds disgusted and it somehow leaches the anger from nick. he reaches out, brushing a hand across louis’ cheek. louis leans into it and gives him a tight-lipped smile. “i’d say i was the worst fucking alpha on the planet, but i do think he takes that prize. second worst, maybe.” 

“i don’t believe that for a second,” nick tells him without thinking. louis’ smile gets a little bigger for a moment before he sighs, finishing his cigarette and leaning away from nick.

“i don’t know what to do,” he admits quietly.

“about what?” 

“you. us. the pack. dunno.” 

“well,” nick says, very very carefully. “m’not sure if there’s much of an _us_ right now. but i’ll do whatever you need me to do for you to be comfortable.” 

“really?” louis asks again. “why?” 

“i’ve already said i quite like you. a lot, if we’re being honest.” 

louis is quiet for a minute, tapping his fingers on the ground. nick listens to the _clickclickclick_ of it and tries to breathe properly, tries not to let the hope that’s in his chest grow too wildly. 

“you’re not going to kill us, are you?” 

“i couldn’t,” nick replies, speaking to his knees. a shadow falls across them and he looks up in shock. louis has moved so he’s in front of him, an intense expression on that nick can’t quite read, and a determined set to his jaw.

“i’m going to trust you,” he tells him, eyes burning, “because you saved my life, and you’re one of the nicest people i’ve met, and i like you an absurd amount, nicholas fucking grimshaw. and i’m going to trust you, and the pack’s going to trust you. can i do that?” 

nick’s throat has gone suddenly dry. 

“you can,” he manages to croak and louis tips closer. 

“i’m trusting you,” louis repeats, before he’s pulling nick in for a bruising kiss. nick’s frozen for approximately two seconds before his instincts kick in and his hands settle on louis’ waist. he pulls him closer until louis is practically in his lap, and oh, that feels nice. louis rearranges himself so his legs are straddling nick’s, and his hands are pulling at nick’s hair, and he’s moving his mouth so insistently against nick’s own. 

nick’s head is spinning from it all, but he never ever wants to stop. 

 

“it’s late,” louis says ages later, when nick’s lips are swollen and his skin’s red from louis’ stubble scraping over it. louis checks his phone and raises an eyebrow at the time. “it’s really late.” 

“i should be going home now, shouldn’t i.” 

“or you could stay here,” louis offers. it’s so casual that nick blinks, not processing for a few seconds. “you don’t have to. it was just a suggestion.” 

“no, no. i’d like to, actually, if you’ll let me.” 

“i offered.” he hops up from nick’s lap and nudges him with a foot. “up you get, i’m exhausted.” 

nick follows him to his bedroom. 

“your bed is rather quite large,” he says, as he shrugs on the old shirt louis tosses him. 

“it holds a lot of people,” louis answers. “sometimes the boys crawl in bed with me. if they’re upset, or summat.” 

“are they going to do that tonight?” 

louis looks at him pensively and then shrugs. “could do. i never know, really. we can lock the door if it bothers you.” 

“don’t care,” nick mumbles as he drops onto the bed. “whatever gets you to turn off the light quicker.” 

louis hesitates, but he pushes the door completely closed and flips the light switch, crawling into the empty side of the bed. 

“you’re going to put your cold feet on me, aren’t you,” nick says sleepily and jumps when louis does exactly that. 

“yes, nicholas, because you’re warm and they’re very cold.” 

“like blocks of ice. how can they be that chilly when you practically radiate heat?” 

“dunno,” louis says, creeping closer. nick gently puts a hand on his waist, rubbing circles on his waist with a thumb. louis hums. “i think i don’t retain my body heat very well. dunno,” he says again, but it’s more slurred this time. 

nick presses a kiss to louis’ nose, the closest thing he can reach. 

“you smell weird,” louis mumbles. 

“oh. well. thanks for that.” 

“no, not bad. different.” he says something else, but nick doesn’t catch it on account of louis’ face being smushed into the pillow. 

“goodnight, love,” he says and louis mutters something incoherently in response, hand curling in nick’s shirt. 

 

nick wakes up to someone in bed with him. it takes him a few minutes to realise it’s not louis. 

“what the fuck?” he mumbles, still half asleep and squinting at the shock of blond hair. “niall?” 

niall grunts a little but doesn’t wake up. shaking his head, nick flings the duvet off and patters his way towards the kitchen.

“you let him _sleep_ here?” someone says and nick stops right before the door, freezing in his tracks. “he’s a hunter.”

“ _former_ hunter, zayn,” answers louis. 

“old habits die hard,” zayn replies bitterly. “how do you know he’s not just lulling us into a false sense of security?” 

louis snorts. “don’t think nick’s that devious.” nick doesn’t know if he should be offended or pleased. louis’ voice gets a little softer, and nick leans forward to catch what’s being said. “he couldn’t hurt a fly, alright?” 

“he can and he has, tommo. or are you forgetting that i was _stabbed_?” 

“that wasn’t his fault and you know it. you can be mad at me--should be, really--but not at him. he didn’t do anything to you.” 

“he’s a threat to us, to all of us, and you’re just letting him be here.” zayn sounds disgusted and something in nick’s stomach rolls. he wants to vom; he’s never heard that level of animosity from anyone before. “i can’t believe you’re trusting him.” 

“he hasn’t done anything to break my trust,” louis says lowly. “and it’s my choice in the end. i’m the one he’s… sort of dating, and i’m the alpha--” 

zayn interrupts him with a scoff. it’s an angry sound. 

“you’re not fucking acting like it, mate.” 

“fuck you.” it’s quiet, measured, and nick knows louis well enough to know he’s furious. all of a sudden, nick can’t stay out in the hallway anymore, can’t sneak around like he’s a bloody spy or something. he lopes into the kitchen as casually as he can, but the boys aren’t convinced. 

“good morning,” he says as confidently as he can, looking between louis’ raised eyebrow and zayn’s glare. “how’d everyone sleep?” 

zayn just grunts and bites into his toast. nick watches him for a second and then turns back to louis. his eyebrow’s still raised. making a split second decision, he leans over and presses a kiss to louis’ cheek. 

“woke up to niall’s elbow in my back,” he tells him as lightly as possible. louis winces. 

“ah, yeah. nightmare.” he hesitates for a moment, like he’s going to add to that, before shaking his head. “now, are you going to make me breakfast or not?” 

“i thought i was the guest,” nick grumbles but he moves to rummage in the fridge for something to eat. he finds some sausages that don’t look they’ve gone off, so he throws them in a pan. 

“what does niall get nightmares about?” he says eventually, after the room’s been quiet for a while. louis sighs, long and loud. 

“being bitten.” 

“ _louis._ ” 

louis continues over zayn’s reproach. “the bloodmoon alpha nearly killed him, and then just left him for dead.” 

“shit.” 

“yeah. it’s burned in his memory.” 

“and he gets nightmares?” 

“i do,” niall interrupts from the door. he doesn’t seem that upset that they’re talking about him, just sleepy. louis opens his arms and niall goes straight to him for a hug. “sorry about sleeping with you, by the way.” it’s muffled in louis’ jumper, and louis gives him a significant look. 

“did you live here before you became a werewolf?” nick asks, not able to help himself. louis’ look turns into a glare, but niall sits up to give him a little smile. 

“do i _sound_ like i’m from around here?” 

“well, no--” 

“exactly. but i did live here for a few months before i was changed. i had to leave anyway, my roommate was moving to london, so it worked out in the end.” 

“besides the nightmares,” nick says. 

“besides the nightmares. those are shit.” niall presses a kiss to louis’ cheek and gets up, moving to pop some toast in. nick slides the sausages onto a plate and sets them on the table. they’re gone in minutes. 

“hold on,” niall says, whirling around to peer at zayn. “why’re you up?” 

zayn hesitates and glances at nick. 

“couldn’t sleep,” he answers tersely. “felt off.” 

niall softens a little and comes over to rub at zayn’s shoulder. “think harry’s still asleep if you want a kip.” 

“course he is. he’s always asleep,” zayn scoffs, but he gets up and goes with one last glare at nick. 

“don’t mind him,” louis says quietly. “he’s a bit stroppy today. he’ll come around, though.” 

nick’s unconvinced but he doesn’t call him out on it. he finishes his sausage and then his tea just as liam stumbles in. he’s sweaty and breathing heavily, earphones dangling around his neck. 

“good run, payno?” niall asks as he hands him a cup of water. liam nods, gulping it down, and freezes when he spots nick. 

“oh. um, hi.” 

“hi,” nick replies, amused. 

“did you stay the night?” 

“he did. got a problem with that?” louis asks and jumps up to dump his plates in the sink. nick blinks in surprise. 

“nah, just wasn’t expecting it. i expected you to hold a grudge for longer.” 

“now you’re mixing me up with zayn.” 

“don’t think i am, actually,” liam says, rubbing at his face. he flashes louis a grin and louis reaches over to tweak at his chest. liam slaps him away and they’re fighting before nick realises. 

after a few minutes, niall leans over. 

“if you weren’t here, they’d be wolves right now. surprised they haven’t changed, actually.” 

“seriously?” nick says, raising an eyebrow. “isn’t it too early for this?” 

“it’s never too early for them. fucking idiots.” it’s fond and niall’s got an expression to match, watching the boys argue with a smile.

“are you going to stop them?” 

“nah. not yet,” niall says, laughing. “i’ll just wait until they break something.” 

it’s a real possibility, and nick eyes the table full of dishes. they stay firmly on the table as liam and louis roughhouse, voices getting louder and louder. 

niall laughs some more, and nick does too, and it might be the best morning of nick’s life. 

 

he hasn’t been to the bar louis works at in ages. he’s been too busy avoiding him, but he goes tonight. 

louis is behind the bar, wearing all black and looking far too good. he catches nick looking and sends him a wink. 

“shameless,” he comments as nick comes up and leans his elbows on the slightly-sticky counter. 

“mm, could say that about you too,” retorts nick and louis laughs. “are you working until closing?” 

“nah, just until midnight.” 

“that’s a shame; you could’ve crashed at mine.” 

“could do, still,” says louis, sliding him a pint. “if you didn’t mind.” 

“are you going to put your cold feet on mine again?” 

“probably, yeah.” nick rolls his eyes as he takes a drink. “i’ve got me break in ten minutes, if you wanted to have a cheeky snog.” 

“making out in the alley behind a grimy bar? sounds absolutely juvenile. and disgusting,” nick says. louis crooks an eyebrow, looking unimpressed. thumbing over the lip of his mug, nick drops the act and grins. “count me in.” 

“thought you’d be up for it,” louis mutters before he’s called away to another customer. nick watches him go. 

it’s more than ten minutes before he can get free; there’s a lot of people here tonight and they need the extra hands. but eventually, louis appears in front of nick and grabs his hand. 

“quick, before they need me again,” he says, tugging him out the side door and into the alley, laughing. the place is empty, surprisingly, and louis wastes no time in crowding nick up against the wall. nick only shudders a little at the thought of what he’s stepping in. 

“this is ridiculous,” nick mumbles, leaning down so their noses touch. “you’re ridiculous.” 

“more kissing, less talking,” answers louis and it’s half swallowed by nick’s mouth. he sighs a little, reaching up to grab hold of nick’s hair. nick slides his hands along louis’ waist and smiles at the resulting shiver. he’s so responsive, so predictable when nick’s kissing him. it’s probably the only time he’s predictable. 

nick does it again and tucks his fingers into the waistband of his trousers, thumbing at his hipbones. louis tugs extra hard on his hair, and nick hisses at the pain, smothers the sound against louis’ skin. 

“menace,” he tells him, lips right at louis’ ear. louis snickers. it turns into a gasp when nick presses his waist harder. louis fits himself closer and plasters himself to nick’s front. it’s a nice difference from the cold wall at his back. 

“how long’s your break?” 

“fifteen minutes.” 

“not long enough.” 

“nope,” louis says, popping the _p_ and then kissing him again. it effectively wipes nick’s brain clear of what he was going to say next. louis’ mouth should really be classified as a weapon, honestly. a danger to society, it is.

the door slams open and the two of them jump apart in a hurry. it’s a girl, no older than harry, and she’s got an anxious look in her eyes. 

“oh, sorry. i just…” she trails off when he notices them, their disheveled hair and clothes, and red lips. nick’s not certain the metre between them is deceiving anyone, and he works on calming his breathing. at least louis is having the same problem.

“never mind,” the girl finishes and whirls around to go back into the bar. beside nick, louis stiffens. he’s still dragging in deep breaths. 

“you okay, love?” nick asks lowly, putting his hand on louis’ back. louis jumps at the touch but leans into nick’s side. 

“yeah, i’m… fine. it’s okay.” he looks dazed and it’s not from the snogging. 

“are you sure? 

louis nods, still staring at the door, and nick decides to let it go. 

 

“do you want to go dancing?” louis asks as he shrugs on his coat. nick pauses. 

“what, like now?” 

“yeah, now.” 

“aren’t you tired from your shift? i mean, i love a bit of dancing, me, and i won’t say no. but are you sure?” 

“i’m sure,” louis says, vaguely cross. “i’m just, like, wired and i want to _do_ something.” 

“then let’s. how’s the one close to the centre sound?” 

“perfect.” 

nick’s towed out the door for the second time. not that he minds much, but there’s something a little strange going on. louis is twitchier than usual, a little flushed, and walking very quickly towards his destination. 

the club’s packed with people and louis pulls him immediately into the middle of it. nick doesn’t mind; he likes the press of bodies all around him, at least for a bit. and with louis there, it’s as close to perfect as it could be. 

“are you just going to stand there grinning like an idiot, or are you going to dance with me?” 

“yeah, yeah,” grumbles nick, but he does a little shimmy that soon has louis laughing. he keeps at it until louis settles his hands on his hips, making him move slower, dirtier. 

“there you go.” 

“you can’t dance either,” nick laughs and louis shrugs. 

“i’m better than you.” 

“most people are.” 

louis laughs again and the music changes to something more upbeat. nick throws his hands up in the air with the rest of the room and does his best embarrassing moves. louis buries his face in nick’s neck, groaning. 

“you’re the worst.” 

they dance for a while longer, until nick’s parched with thirst and sticky with sweat. 

“c’mon, let’s get a drink,” he yells over the music. louis nods and nick starts pushing towards the bar, louis on his heels. they squeeze into an empty space, nick draping himself over the counter to get a bartender’s attention, and breathe a bit. 

louis is just as sweaty, and his cheeks are pink from the warm room, his hair wild around his face. nick can’t help himself, he presses a quick kiss to his mouth. the bartender sets down their drinks before they can get too carried away, and nick pulls back with a rueful smile. 

“what was that for?” louis asks, crooking an eyebrow at him. 

“might think you’re a little fit,” says nick and watches as louis’ cheeks get pinker. he’ll literally never be tired of that sight. 

louis starts to say something and is interrupted by someone stumbling into his back. louis pitches forward and spills his beer all over a girl in front of him. she spins around, furious, bringing her friend along with her. she’s pint sized, even teetering in heels, and her eyes are sharp when she catches sight of louis. 

but louis isn’t looking at her; he’s staring at her friend with a stunned expression on his face. 

“what the fuck was that for,” the first girl yells. she’s dripping with beer and rightfully upset. louis is still not paying attention, still in a weird stare-down with the girl. she doesn’t look like a threat to louis, just a pretty girl in a club, but he’s gone pale and tense. nick edges closer to him, just in case. 

“oi,” the beer-soaked girl shouts. “are you even listening, mate?” 

louis jumps, looking at her like he’s just noticed her for the first time, and goes even paler. 

“nick,” he says quietly. nick leans in. “we have to leave immediately.” 

“what?” 

“right now,” louis demands, seizing his arm and starting to run. nick’s confused as hell, but he goes along with it, darting through the crowds of intoxicated people until they reach the exit. louis doesn’t slow down once they’re outside but starts towards nick’s flat at a dead sprint. 

“wait, wait, wait,” nick pants as he slows to a stop. louis stops too but he looks upset about it, bouncing on his toes like he’s going to explode into a sprint. “what’s going on.” 

“i’ll tell you later, c’mon nick.” 

“tell me now, how about.” 

louis lifts his chin, a muscle tensing in his jaw. 

“seriously, we’ve got to go. they’re gonna find us--” 

“who?” 

“no time to explain. have you caught your breath yet? we should keep running.” 

his lungs are still burning, but nick’s not going to get anything out of louis right now. not when he looks cagey and scared. he nods. 

“fine, whatever.” 

louis takes off almost before the words are out of nick’s mouth and nick has no choice but to follow. they weave a strange path around the city, doubling back in some places and going in roundabout ways. nick’s more than a little lost, but louis seems to know where he’s going. or, he pretends he does, at least. 

they end up at the end of nick’s street, and nick breathes a sigh in relief. he’s hot and exhausted and would really love to just drop into his bed right now. he’s got to climb to his flat first. 

“mind telling me why we explored half of the bloody city at three in the morning?” he says mildly as he’s unlocking his front door. he can barely get the words out through his heaving breaths. 

louis shakes his head, leaning against the wall. he’s breathing hard too, nick notes with a twinge of satisfaction. he’s got a faraway look to him, so nick doesn’t push and resolves to bring it up in the morning. 

“christ, i’m knackered. but first i think i’ll hop into the shower, yeah? just… make yourself at home.” 

“can i shower with you?” 

“have we not snogged enough tonight?” nick whines with no real feeling behind it. louis rolls his eyes, already pulling off his shirt. 

“not possible. also, we kept on getting fucking interrupted so i think i deserve to get off.” 

“pushy.” louis flips him off and then throws his top at nick’s face for good measure. “i don’t appreciate that.” 

“i don’t appreciate your commentary.” 

“comes with the territory, love.” 

“yeah, whatever. come here so i can shut you up.” 

nick strips his last bits of clothing, checks to make sure they both have towels, and steps into the shower. 

 

the flat feels so empty when it’s just him. nick kind of hates it. louis left hours ago, leaving just a rather impressive mess for his short stay to keep him company. nick thinks about picking it up, but it’s too much of a bother, honestly. pig’s at the doctor’s for an operation and she’s there for the night so he doesn’t have to drive in at fuck-o'clock in the morning. he misses her yapping. 

he sprawls on the couch and flips through the telly instead, too lazy to go out. he deserves a rest day, he rationalizes. except there’s nothing on except reruns of shows he’s seen before and depressing news about worldwide affairs. he settles on a bbc channel and idly thinks about taking a nap instead. 

that plan is rudely interrupted by his door slamming open. nick’s up and across the room before he can think, years of training kicking into action, and it’s good that he did. he gets a millisecond to understand what’s going on before there’s a figure hurling at his face. 

it’s not a human, he can tell that immediately. it’s a wolf with its teeth bared and claws ready to tear at nick’s face. 

nick tries to bolt to the side but he’s not quick enough, and the wolf catches the right side of his body. they both go flying backwards and nick lands on his back hard enough to knock the wind out of him. he’s got enough presence of mind to roll away from the teeth snapping at his skin. the wolf seems dazed too, thank _god,_ because he’d be dead if it wasn’t. it shakes its head a few times before remembering what’s going on, gaze zeroing in on nick. 

he goes left and dives for the knife he stashed near the telly, kicking at the animal as best as he can. the growling wolf is put off-balance enough for nick to get his footing, brandishing his weapon. he stares down the wolf for a moment and bares his own teeth 

“i’d really like to not kill you,” nick says grimly, his hands steady on the knife handle, “but i will if i have to.” 

they look at each other, both panting heavily. the wolf’s a strange colour, brownish grey and rather on the large side. nick swallows, hard, and sends up an idle prayer of gratitude for his training. it’s maybe the first time he’d been thankful for learning how to kill werewolves. 

the wolf growls again and steps forward, ears flat against its head. nick growls too. 

“i’m gonna throw this at you if you get too close.” it’s a bluff, but he hopes it doesn’t pick up on it, hopes his heart beat stays steady. it seems to do the trick; the wolf considers for a breath and then steps back. 

“there’s a good boy,” murmurs nick, unable to help himself, and the wolf snarls again. its teeth looks sharp. nick feels a little nauseous just thinking about them. he grips the knife harder and shifts into his defensive stance. 

and then, as quickly as it came, the wolf is gone-- disappearing through the broken door and out of the building. nick holds his position for ten seconds, counting them out carefully in his head, and then ten more for good luck. 

the wolf doesn’t come back. nick drops the knife when his hands start to shake. 

“fuck,” he says to the empty flat. “fucking shit, _fuck._ i have to go.” 

it’s that thought that propels him into action in the end, running to his bedroom and grabbing a bag. he stuffs it with whatever he can find, shirts and pants and trousers. two pairs of shoes, the knives and the gun stashed under his bed. he pauses for a moment to request an uber and it takes twice as long as it should. his fingers are still trembling and they’re slick with sweat, sliding across his screen. he manages though, and resumes his packing. 

he drags out the box in the back of his closet, the one he promised himself he’d never open again, but. extenuating circumstances, he supposes. it smells like something bitter, herbs and dust and wood all mixing together into something not quite unpleasant. it smells like his old life. 

nick chokes down the memories and runs his fingers over the wooden boxes, the things he never wanted to see again. these are poisons and he’s done with killing. 

he snags one of the boxes, just in case, and sets the rest to the side. under them, there’s random gadgets, trackers that still maybe work and a monitor, and some observational stuff. digging those out, he wraps them carefully in one of his jumpers and puts them in his bag as well. 

“is that it?” he mutters, wracking his brain. it’s has to be it; he doesn’t have much time left and his uber’s close by. he zips up his bag and then runs into the bathroom for his toiletries, throwing those in there as well. he shrugs on his warmest coat and takes a cursory look around the flat.

the door’s broken, he’ll have to pay for that later, and the coffee table’s tipped onto it’s side. he thinks about righting it, but his phone chimes before he takes three steps in. he jams his feet into his shoes instead and leaves without a backwards glance, shutting the door as best he can behind him. 

the uber driver’s a bored looking woman, hair in a bun on her head and fingers tapping at the wheel despite him being out within a few minutes. she nods at his greeting, but doesn’t offer anything besides a confirmation on where they’re going. 

nick settles back into his seat and watches the city flash by, strangers all of them who have no idea what-- _who--_ is running around their streets. 

there’s a word he heard ages ago in one of his first conversations with harry. they’d been sat in the bakery and making up stories for every person who walked by the giant widows. it had been great fun and the stories had gotten more and more ridiculous until harry had decided that a pale looking businessman was a vampire. 

“isn’t it weird,” harry had said when their laughter was winding down. his face had gone contemplative, staring at the street with his eyebrows furrowed, “how everyone you see has a life?” 

it had made a shiver go down nick’s spine, for reasons he wasn’t quite sure of. 

“bloody strange, yeah.” 

“there’s like a word, i think,” harry had said, plucking his lip between his fingers as he fished his phone out of his pockets. he tapped at it for a few seconds before tilting the screen towards nick. “there. _sonder._ ”

“sonder,” nick replied, testing the word out in his mouth.

“sonder.” 

nick remembers that moment, remembers that word now, as he thinks about what just happened. his uber driver has a life, one almost completely untouched by his. she’d never guess that he’d just been attacked, by a werewolf no less, and he couldn’t even start to begin to fathom. 

very few of the people wandering the streets know about werewolves. it’d been a major part of his training, that he had to keep this a secret. it’d cause mass panic, distrust among people, a _bloody riot if the public knew_ , or so his instructor had said. 

nick thinks about it, thinks about blurting out _“i’ve just been attacked by a werewolf in me own home, by the way-- werewolves are real and i’m a fucking hunter who fell in love with one_ ,” but dismisses the thought immediately. he doesn’t think the lady’d take too kindly to that and he’d rather not be admitted to a mental hospital. 

“here,” she says flatly and nick startles, glancing at the now-familiar house in shock. he hadn’t noticed. 

“uhhh, thank you,” he mumbles, nearly tripping over his feet in his hurry to get out. she gives a half-hearted reply and takes off as soon as nick’s slammed the door. 

he looks at the house again. it’s quiet, too quiet, and he realises dimly that it might be empty and locked up. the boys do have things they do during the day, and they weren’t expecting it. nick prays someone’s home. sitting out in the open like this makes him an even better target. 

the door swings open and zayn stands there, arms folded across his chest and face unimpressed. 

“louis isn’t here.” 

“i’m not here for him.” it’s not quite a lie. zayn’s frown gets deeper. 

“you can come back when he is.” 

“no,” nick nearly shouts, jumping forward to catch the door before it closes. zayn scowls, opening his mouth to yell, but nick keeps on talking. “i have to be here, alright? there was a werewolf, it attacked me in my flat, and like, i’m not safe, okay?”

“so you came here so they can attack us instead?” zayn asks, vaguely angrily, and nick shrugs. 

“more people to help.” 

“what makes you think we’d help you--” zayn sneers, trying to push the door shut again. 

“zayn, what’re you doing--- oh! nick!” 

“hiya, liam.” 

liam looks at him, then at zayn, then where they’re fighting. 

“what are you doing here? louis is at work.” 

“i know, zayn told me, but i’m in trouble and i need help.”

“trouble, like…” 

“werewolf trouble.” 

“oh,” liam says again and considers for a moment. “zayn, let him in.” 

“why the fuck would i do that?” 

“because if he gets hurt, louis will be bloody insufferable for a long while and i’d rather not deal with that. also, because nick’s our friend.” 

zayn pushes for a moment before abruptly letting up, stepping back so quickly that nick stumbles again. he grumbles under his breath and stomps away, leaving liam to smile apologetically. 

“sorry about him.”

“no, it’s… fine. i get it, like.” 

liam makes a ‘what are you going to do’ sort of gesture and then waves him in. nick throws his bag down on the sofa and sits next to it, tipping his head back against the cushion. his heart is finally slowing down into something a little less racing. 

“what’s all this about, then?” 

nick tells him the story, this time a little more detailed. liam’s eyebrows grow closer together as he listens and the tips of his mouth turn farther downwards. 

“did you know him?” liam asks. “the wolf, i mean. did you recognize him?”

nick rolls his eyes. 

“it was a fucking wolf, liam. of course i didn’t recognize it.” 

“but we’re all different, and like, you theoretically could differentiate between the wolves.” 

“yeah, well, i wasn’t taught that skill and also i was too busy getting attacked to pay attention.” 

“shame. it’d help if we knew who we were dealing with.” 

“a werewolf,” nick says dryly and it makes liam laugh. “pretty sure we’re dealing with a werewolf.” 

“ah, fair enough.” 

liam’s still laughing when nick comes in to collapse on the sofa. his heart rate’s finally gone down to something almost normal. liam sits on the opposite side of the sofa, leaning easily against the side of the sofa. 

“thought you didn’t like me,” nick says carefully, eyeing liam’s relaxed stance. 

“ _zayn_ doesn’t like you.”

“yeah, but i thought you didn’t either.” 

liam shrugs a little, glancing over to grin at him. “i trust louis, and louis says you’re safe. also, harry does too, and he’s got a pretty good sense for these things.” 

“oh.” 

“also, zayn’s just being a prat at this point.” 

“am not!” zayn calls back from somewhere in the corridor. nick jumps and liam rolls his eyes. 

“yes you are! get over it already.” 

“i was _stabbed_.” 

“but was it nick’s fault?” liam challenges and zayn skulks into the room, hands in his pockets and a mutinous look on his face. “did nick stab you?” 

“no,” zayn bites out, refusing to look at nick. liam nods once, satisfied. 

“then stop blaming him for it.” zayn growls once and disappears back to his room. “he’ll come around eventually,” says liam and he settles back into the cushion. 

“thank you?” 

“you’re welcome, mate.” 

nick laughs and then winces, remembering the scratch on his side. the adrenaline had dulled it, made him forget, but now that it’s wearing off, it’s all he can think about. 

“shit, liam?” 

“hmm?”

“don’t panic, but do you have a medkit?” 

liam sits straight up, fixing him with a glance. “are you hurt?” 

“a little--”

he barely gets the words out before liam’s dashing out of the room and coming back with a plastic box.

“where is it?” 

“um--” 

“nick!” harry shouts, bursting in through the door. “what are you doing here?” 

“he was attacked by a werewolf,” liam says as louis follows harry inside. both their gazes snap to liam and then to nick. “he was hurt.” 

“what the fuck?” harry says and darts to nick’s side. “are you alright?” 

“yeah, i’m fine. just a scratch.” 

“let me see,” demands harry and nick dutifully pulls his shirt up. the colour fades from harry’s face. 

“it’s nothing.” 

“that doesn’t look like nothing,” louis tells him. “what happened?” 

“a wolf burst into my flat and went for my throat. i’m alright, though, besides this.” he motions to his side. 

“a wolf,” louis says flatly. “in your flat.” 

“yeah.” 

louis stares at him for a moment and turns to liam. 

“give me the medkit, payno. i’ll patch him up.”

liam hands it over without missing a beat but there’s a confused expression on his face. louis motions at nick.

“c’mon.” 

“where’re we going?” nick asks mildly but he follows louis to his room. louis shuts the door and leans against it, watching him. “why can’t liam do it?”

“let me see your scratch again.” 

“louis--” 

“can’t let it get infected.” 

nick sighs and rucks up his shirt to show him. the pain’s sort of faded, dulled to where he can ignore it, but it twinges when the fabric brushes over the raw skin. it’s still bloody but it’s not too deep. louis’ face still clouds over when he sees it. 

“i don’t think it’ll need stitches.” 

louis makes a noncommittal noise, coming closer. he gently prods the skin around it, nick holding back a wince, and then nods. 

“think you’ll live,” he says, ripping open a bandage. he squeezes some antiseptic on it and plasters it neatly onto the cut. 

“just barely,” nick grumbles. 

“first you said it wasn’t a big deal, now you’re upset about not dying? make up your mind, honestly,” louis tells him and gives him a kiss before he can argue. nick kisses him back, arms locking around his waist. louis slides his hands under the hem of nick’s shirt and presses them to nick’s skin, carefully avoiding the wound on his hip. nick slips his fingers into louis’ waistband. 

“haven’t done this for a while,” he breathes, shivering when louis nips a little.

“mhmm,” louis replies, too focused on kissing down nick’s throat. he stretches at the collar of his shirt and it’s going to be too big on him, but nick can’t quite care about that right now. 

“off,” he urges and pushes louis away to strip off his shirt, helping him out of his next. louis kisses him again as soon as the shirt’s over his head, more urgently this time. it’s all teeth and tongue and louis’ hot hands all over and--

“louis!” harry shouts, banging on the door. louis breaks away with a curse, glaring in harry’s direction. 

“if we’re really quiet, maybe he’ll go away,” louis suggests. 

“louis, you need to come out here. now.” 

“bit busy, harry.” 

“it’s an emergency.” 

louis groans, dropping his head onto nick’s shoulder for a second. he huffs out a breath, warm against nick’s skin, and then steps away to the door. 

“god, if this is some sort of prank... “ he mutters as he throws it open. harry’s standing there, eyes wild as his hair, and a worried look on his face. “what.” 

“they’re here, louis. the bloodmoon pack, they’re here,” harry tells him frantically, not even blinking at the fact they’re half-naked. 

louis just gapes at him, his mouth open in shock. 

“sorry?” 

“they’re here, and they’re wanting to speak with you.” 

louis glances back at nick and his gaze zeroes in on his hip. nick looks at him and then down at it with a frown. the realization hits them both at the same time.

“harry, get liam and niall and tell them to stay with nick at all times, alright? actually, send them in here and tell them not to leave. you too, nick. don’t leave this room until we say you can.”

“i can protect myself.” 

“yeah, but having two people to help is never a bad thing.” he bends and grabs a shirt from the ground. it’s nick’s, but nick doesn’t care. 

“they want to see him too. both of you, together.” 

“me?” nick asks, pausing and raising an eyebrow. “why do they want to speak to me?” 

“you killed their alpha,” harry tells him. “there’ll be repercussions for that.” 

“they’re not going to kill me, are they?”

“they’ve already tried that, love,” louis says, pointing to his side. “but you got away, so i guess it’s diplomacy now.” 

“how fucking terrifying.” 

the others are in the living room, obviously on edge. they all look up simultaneously when louis comes in. 

“there’s a lot of werewolves out there. four, at least. they’re all girls,” liam says briskly. he’s pale but determined, a frown settled on his face. zayn’s scowling too and he’s watching the front of the house. 

“we’ve only got a few minutes before they come in,” he says. 

“we’re going, we’re going,” louis mumbles. he’s on edge as they head to the door, restless hands twitching against his leg. nick catches one and holds it, smoothing his thumb over louis’. louis gives him a tiny smile. 

there are four girls in the garden, and none of them look like a werewolf. even after years of training and becoming friends with the boys, nick’s still taken aback at how _normal_ they appear. they could be four girls in the shop, in a uni lecture, dancing at a club. 

in fact, nick thinks and squints at the group, they _were_ at the club. or two of them, at least. they’re the ones who startled louis the other night, and then the one that interrupted their snogging too. 

nick squeezes louis’ hand tighter. louis takes a deep breath.

“leigh anne,” he says evenly and one of them smiles. “it’s been a while.” 

“i’ve missed you, tommo,” she says. “you didn’t say goodbye when you left. or hello a few days ago, either.” 

“bad memories. i’m sure you understand.” 

leigh anne grimaces, something unidentifiable to nick flashing in her eyes. 

“i do,” she says, shifting to look where nick’s standing next to louis. she tilts her head to the side. “miss you, though.” 

“wish i could say the same,” louis says tightly. “who’ve you got with you, then?” 

“pardon, i’ve been rude. this is perrie, and you met her and jade the other day. and this is--” 

“jesy,” someone says behind nick. everyone jumps and louis twists to stare at liam, open-mouthed. the girls are startled too, looking like they’ve seen a ghost. “her name’s jesy.” 

“liam--” zayn mumbles but he’s cut off. 

“liam, you’re alive?” the one named jesy asks and she steps forward a little, louis tensing as she does. liam’s still looking at her, his face twisted into something nick doesn’t recognize. 

“yeah. i’m alive.” 

“we thought-- we thought he killed you.” 

“obviously he didn’t,” snaps louis and he’s practically vibrating with rage. “now what do you want?” 

“we came to visit,” perrie says, a bit petulantly. harry snorts right behind nick’s shoulder. 

“no ulterior motives?” he says quietly and the four girls narrow their eyes. nick stifles a smile and can practically feel harry’s smugness. it’s probably not the best time for his cheek, but nick appreciates it nevertheless. it makes him a little less nervous, a little less on edge. 

“we came to visit,” repeats jade. “a _friendly_ visit.” 

louis’ fingers brush against nick’s side, lightly touching the scratch down his hip. nick does his best not to flinch. friendly would be a lot easier to believe if he hadn’t been attacked earlier. jesy watches them with a keen eye, eyebrows raised. 

“swear it on my life,” she says and catches louis’ gaze. they watch each other for a few seconds, three breaths long. something happens in those moments that nick doesn’t understand but he can feel the gravity of it. the boys shift uneasily, harry edging closer to nick, and niall too, until he can feel them breathing on his neck. he fights the urge to shiver, to look away, to run for safety somewhere else. this is the safest place for him to be, as mental as that sounds. 

louis nods his head once, jerkily.

“fine. but promise you won’t hurt us. swear it. your pack won’t attack while you’re in our home.” louis’ voice is fierce and passionate, only a tiny tremor hinting at his nervousness. jesy thinks a moment, tapping at her mouth with a manicured finger, and smirks. 

“as much as i’d love to promise you that, it’s really not my call to make.” 

“you’re the alpha, aren’t you?” 

“actually, i’m not,” she drawls, still smiling, “because he is.”

there’s a moment where the entire world seems to pause, to grind to a stop, and the blood in nick’s veins runs cold. 

“who?” louis demands. she raises her chin and points directly at nick. 

“him.” 

 

the air is tense, nearly crackling with it, and it’s suffocating. nick leans against the wall and watches the girls sitting at the table. they look remarkably relaxed for being in a room with another pack. 

the boys, on the other hand...

niall’s slouched up against the wall, chewing on a fingernail nervously. harry’s next to him and nick can tell he’s fighting to keep still. he’s breathing quickly, shallowly. liam’s expression is blank but his shoulders are stiff and he mirrors the girls whenever they move. zayn’s the only one who looks even remotely calm, if it wasn’t for the glower he keeps focused on the table. 

louis stands with his hands on the back of a chair, tapping at the wood, and raises his eyebrow. 

“i don’t understand,” he says and stares jesy down. “nick’s a human. he can’t be an alpha.” 

“i’m telling you he is,” jesy tells him in a bored voice. 

“he _can’t_ be.” 

“you really hadn’t noticed?” leigh anne asks, curious. louis presses his lips together and doesn’t answer. 

“i could smell him from ages away,” jade says as she eyes nick curiously. “smells like pack.” 

louis and harry go pale, and zayn sucks in a breath. 

“i told you so! ages ago, i _told_ you he smelled weird and you told me i was mental!” zayn spits, prodding louis in the back. 

“he’s a human, he can’t be,” louis nearly shouts, twisting his body to half-face him. “he’s not even a werewolf, how can he be an _alpha_?”

“don’t know, but he is,” 

“i’m not, i promise,” nick says weakly. it feels like everything’s in slow motion, and the words are echoing over and over in his head. “i’m not an alpha.” 

jesy frowns and crosses her arms. the rest of the girls do as well, looking certain and immovable. 

“would i lie to you?” she challenges, and then her gaze shifts to louis. “ _am_ i lying you?” 

“she’s not,” liam answers for them all. he sounds bitter and refuses to look anywhere but at jesy, visibly on edge. 

“she’s our second in command,” perrie says. nick believes it. “second to you.” 

nick jumps, shaking his head. he’s speechless for the first time in his life. perrie frowns at him a little and so does leigh anne. 

“how can we prove it to you?” asks leigh anne. 

“you can’t,” says louis bitterly, “because nick’s not a werewolf and he’s not an alpha. and if he _was,_ he’s a human and therefore can’t do any alpha-type things.” 

“i guess you’ll just have to trust us,” jesy says. 

“why the fuck would i do that?” he snarls, fingers white on the chair. “now, would you kindly get the fuck out of my house. immediately.” 

“i’d rather not.”

“you need to.”

“i’m not--” 

“please,” nick interrupts. he clears his throat and tries again, louder. “please go. give us a night to think about it, yeah?” 

there’s a long moment when nick thinks that she’s going to refuse, and something will snap. she watches him carefully and then stands up. 

“until tomorrow, boys,” she says, anger steadying her voice. the other girls leave as well, their faces carefully neutral, and bodies tense.

“wait,” liam calls as they turn. “tell your pack to leave nick alone.” 

“leave him alone?” asks leigh anne. liam crosses his arms. 

“they attacked him earlier this morning. tell them not to do that again.” 

“it wasn’t-- i didn’t tell them to do that.” 

“i know,” says liam. “but they did.” 

jesy glances at nick, catches his gaze. “they won’t go after you again, alright? i’ll make sure of it.” 

“we’ll kill them if they do,” harry says quietly, wrapping fingers around nick’s wrist. it’s comforting and protective all at once. nick wonders how he can say it so easily. 

“i know. but he’s their alpha; he can control his pack if he wants to.” louis stiffens at that, his shoulders going tense. 

the girls file out and leave them to themselves. it’s silent as the boys look at each other, but avoid nick’s eyes. nick counts his breaths, _one. two. three. four. five. si--_

“you’re an alpha,” niall says finally, wonderingly. “i don’t-- i don’t understand.” 

“how can that even happen?” asks harry. “of the bloodmoon pack, nonetheless.” 

a muscle jumps in louis’ jaw.

“the bloodmoon pack,” he repeats, voice flat. he finally looks at nick and his expression is unreadable, eyes wild. nick’s at his side in two seconds. 

“hey, love. what’s wrong?” 

“what’s wrong? you’re the fucking alpha of the fucking bloodmoon pack and you’re asking what’s wrong?” he sounds hysterical so nick folds him into a hug, but louis keeps talking. “i thought i never had to see them again. god, i thought i was done--” 

he shoves nick away and stands for a second, chest heaving. he makes an aborted motion towards nick, seems to think the best of it, and runs out the room. liam doesn’t hesitate and follows him out the door, zayn on his heels. 

“i don’t understand,” nick says, partially to himself. harry pushes off the wall and presses himself into niall’s side, watching nick with a sad look. “did i do something?” 

“no, erm, louis is… complicated,” answers harry. 

“really? hadn’t noticed.” 

harry ignores him. “has he, um, has he told you anything about his growing up?” 

“no?”

niall sighs, shuffling himself and harry towards the sofa. 

“might as well sit down,” niall tells him. “it’s been a long day.” 

“louis grew up in the bloodmoon pack,” harry starts as soon as nick’s perched carefully on the chair. he looks tired, washed out and worn.

and then the words sink it.

“he _what?!_ ”

“yeah. so did liam,” says niall. 

“lou was there until he was sixteen? i think? and it was awful. his mum and sisters were there, and he loved them, but he hated it. the alpha was not nice, as you probably could tell. he ran away, became a rogue. my mum found him nicking bread from the bakery because he was so hungry.” 

“bakery?” it’s the only thing nick can think to say. harry nods, pulling his sleeves over his hands. 

“yeah, mum owns one back in cheshire. louis stayed for a while, worked there, became part of our pack.” 

“why aren’t you anymore?” 

“i’m getting to that part,” harry says and levels him a glance. nick mimes zipping his lips shut. “he didn’t, like... he didn’t take well to being in a pack, right? it’d been a bad experience of him and he resented the authority. dunno. he just decided to leave one day. and i left with him.” 

“your mum just let you leave?” 

“yeah.” 

“were you… were you, like, in _love_ with him?” 

harry smiles a little bit, shaking his head. he leans back into niall’s side a bit. “no. yeah. maybe. you know louis; he’s _captivating_ and i also wanted to be a little independent.” 

niall snorts and kisses the top of harry’s head briefly. “how’d that work out for you, huh?” 

“oh, shut it. you’re not my _mum._ ” 

“leemo is, though.” 

“liam’s dad,” harry says, grinning at him. “tommo’s mum.” 

niall snorts again, rolling his eye and fighting a smile. “is your hip still sore?” he asks nick, switching the conversation so quickly nick blinks a little. 

“yeah, i guess.” he’d forgotten about it in all the excitement. it twinges a little and he pulls up his shirt to look at it. there’s a bloodstain on the white plaster. it’s in the vague shape of a heart.

niall watches him with a thoughtful look. “we should put a different bandage on that,” he says, hopping up and running out of the room before nick can stop him. he’s back in a heartbeat and he sits carefully next to nick’s chair. 

“here, let me see.” 

nick hikes his shirt up further and lets niall fuss over him a little, hissing when the antiseptic stings.

“tommo’s better at this than me,” niall comments quietly as he works. “patched liam right up when he got here, and liam was absolutely shredded.”

nick thinks about liam and the guarded look in his eyes. thinks about the way he hadn’t relaxed when the girls were in the room.

“he was part of the bloodmoon pack too?” 

“yeah,” niall says after a pause, glancing up to scan nick’s face. “he was.” 

“why was he hurt when he got here?” 

“all liam’s told us is that he didn’t listen. don’t think the alpha took well to that.” 

“no,” nick mutters and remembers the way the alpha had looked at the boys, like they were a piece of meat. “i don’t think he did either.” 

niall doesn’t say anything after that, just dabs at the cut a little more, and neither does anyone else. 

 

louis isn’t back and it’s late. nick’s fading fast, the now-mended scratch in his side aching and his head swimming with tiredness. harry lifts his head from niall’s shoulder. 

“nick. grimmy. just go to bed, yeah?” 

“can’t.” 

“you can, and you should. you’re hurt.” 

nick’s voice is rough with tiredness. “don’t want to go. they’re not back yet.” 

harry unfolds himself and niall follows, both of them reaching forward to pull him up. 

“you’ve had a long, shocking day,” niall says gently and nick allows himself to be tugged to his feet, “you need to rest.” 

“we’ll stay up and make sure they get here safe, alright?” adds harry. nick nods. he’s so tired. they push him to louis’ room, get him out of his clothes, and pull down the covers. 

“i’m not a baby,” he complains when harry tries to tuck him in. harry coos at him and kisses him on the forehead. “you’re a prick.” 

“i’m just being a good mate. helpful, like.” 

nick thinks niall snorts at that, but it’s so quiet that he’s not sure. he closes his eyes instead and barely hears the boys flip off the lights and leave the room. 

 

he wakes up much later, the room dark and quiet in that middle-of-the-night way, to someone getting in the bed with him. 

“wha--?” 

“shhh,” someone says. “s’just me. go back to sleep.” 

nick lifts his head a bit and looks at the boy next to him. louis. 

“you’re back.” louis nods, barely visible in the dimness, and inches closer to nick, like he’s unsure what to do. nick closes the distance between them and wraps him up in a hug. “hiya, love. you smell like the cold.” 

louis laughs a bit, just a huff of breath.

“fitting, seeing as i was just outside in the cold,” he murmurs and presses his nose to nick’s chest. it’s cold. “you smell like someone else’s pack,” he says very, very quietly. 

“funny, that.” 

“i don’t understand.” 

“don’t think anyone does. i certainly don’t.” 

louis burrows impossibly closer, like he’s trying to dig his way into nick’s stomach. “you’re an alpha. fuck.” 

“there’s not going to be any weird werewolfy shit happening because i’m an alpha and you’re an alpha and we’re in the same room. in the same bed, even.” 

louis snorts, shaking his head. “you’re ridiculous.” 

“it’s a valid question!” 

“no, it’s fine. as long as you don’t try to hurt--” his breath catches and he freezes for a moment. “as long as you don’t try to hurt my pack. then it won’t be good.” 

“i would never.” 

louis lets out a long sigh, finally shifting back to look at nick. he watches him for a second, eyes scanning nick’s face.

“i know.” they’re significant, those words. “i trust you.” 

nick doesn’t say anything to that, doesn’t _know_ what to say to that, so he kisses louis instead until they’re both struggling to keep their eyes open. 

 

“so nick’s an alpha,” zayn says, barely keeping a scowl off his face. 

“right,” harry answers, a little harshly. his arms are tightly folded and he keeps inching closer to nick. 

“ _and_ he’s a human.” 

“as far as i know, yeah.” 

“that’s not possible, then. jesy was lying.” 

“she wasn’t lying,” liam, niall, and louis say together. “you know that as well as we do. she thinks she’s telling the truth, at least,” continues liam. zayn looks like he’s chewing on his tongue. 

“it’s not possible,” he repeats darkly, mostly to himself. harry shoots him a dirty look. 

“and yet it happened,” niall says. 

“not to make this about me,” interrupts nick, “only, it sort of is. what are we going to do about this? i can’t stay an alpha forever. it’d make christmas dinner quite awkward, that’s for sure.”

niall chokes on a laugh, but it sounds nervous. louis rolls his eyes. 

“how do you, erm, give it up? can you even do that?” nick asks. there’s a few seconds of silence as the boys all look at each other and then at louis. he doesn’t meet their eyes, toying with a seam on his jeans. 

“you can redo ties, as an alpha.” 

“oh, thank god. how do i do that?” 

“but only if you’re a werewolf,” louis finishes. nick’s heart sinks. “or that’s what i reckon. you can’t _feel_ a bond, can you?” 

nick thinks about it, tries reaching out his mind in vain. 

“what am i looking for?” 

“it’s like… warm? you’re hyperaware of other people. what is jesy doing right now?” 

“how the fuck should i know?” 

“you’d know,” louis says. “as an alpha, you should know. just, like, think about her? oh, fuck i don’t know. i can’t describe it.” 

nick opens his eyes and focuses on louis’ frustrated expression. he’s scowling at his hands, tugging viciously on a loose thread. 

“hey, it’s alright. we’ll find another way. there’s another way, right?” 

“yeah,” says louis. nick waits but the answer doesn’t come. 

“well… how?” louis still doesn’t answer. he yanks too hard on the string instead and it snaps. nick covers his hand with his own. “louis.” 

“the fastest way to become alpha,” he says finally, still not looking at nick, “is to kill the previous alpha. that’s how you got it in the first place. s’why people keep trying to kill you.” 

“it was only the once,” nick mumbles distractedly. louis grimaces. 

“we’re not going to do that, though,” interrupts harry and his voice is sharper than nick’s ever heard it. he’s staring at nick with a fierce look, determined. “we’re not going to kill you. or let you be killed.” 

“‘preciate that, harold.” 

harry flashes him a tiny smile. 

“it’d help if we knew _how_ you became alpha in the first place,” says liam. “you’re not the first human to kill one, right? why aren’t they alphas now?” 

“dunno.” 

“it’s strange.” 

“he’s the first human part of a pack to kill one, though,” niall says suddenly and everyone turns to gape at him. only going a bit red, he continues: “like, there aren’t many humans, erm, _involved_ with werewolves. and when they are, they usually don’t have grimmy’s training. and even if they _do,_ they’re not presented with an opportunity to kill an alpha. it’s a unique situation.” 

“that makes a lot of sense. that’s really clever, niall,” says harry, tilting his head a bit and niall goes redder. 

“just thinking out loud.” 

“how’d nick become part of pack, though?” 

this time, they all turn to look at him. he shrugs. 

“fuck if i know. don’t feel any different.” 

“could it have been the sex?” harry wonders and nick feels his cheeks go beet red. louis is blushing as well. nick hits him in the shoulder. 

“you didn’t tell me that hooking up with you would lead to weird werewolf shit,” he whispers vehemently. “i wouldn’t have done it otherwise!” 

“oi!” says louis as liam snorts. “it hasn’t happened before, why would it have happened then?” 

“must’ve been a really good fuck,” harry mutters and nick hurls a pillow at him, hitting him straight in the face. he’s only a little bit smug about that. 

louis folds his arms and glares at harry. 

“nick didn’t become a part of the pack because we fucked, _harold._ it must have been something else.” 

“did you accidentally make a blood oath with each other?” niall asks. “or meld your minds together?” 

“mutual orgasms?” harry adds under his breath. nick gives him a dirty look.

“not that i know of,” he says as primly as possible. 

“when you fought with us,” liam starts slowly, thoughtfully, “you threw that knife and i was gonna be in the way. but like, i _knew_ you were gonna throw it, and i ducked out of the way before it left your hand.” 

they process this for a minute, chewing on their own thoughts. 

“can you feel me now?” nick asks and they all shake their heads. 

“you’re part of a different pack,” says niall. “there’s not a connection between us now.” 

louis twitches a bit and then goes still. 

“fucking hell,” he breathes. “fucking hell-- nick, can you go make us some tea?” 

“erm… what?” 

“go in the kitchen and put the kettle on. i’m in the mood for a cuppa.” 

“do it yourself...?” 

louis gives him a small smile, eyes pleading and puppy-like. nick tries not to think about the irony of that statement. 

“please?” 

nick sighs, but he heaves himself off the sofa and makes his way into the kitchen. 

“i don’t appreciate this,” he half-shouts over his shoulder. louis doesn’t answer, and he flips on the kettle and pulls out six mugs. “do all of you want tea?” 

he sighs again and starts for the lounge only to crash into louis as he comes through the door. 

“woah, love,” louis says easily. “careful.” 

“careful yourself,” grumbles nick. louis grins at him and it’s brighter than it has been in days even though there’s still worry in his eyes. “did the rest of your lot want tea?” 

“hmm? oh, dunno.”

“you’re useless, you are. can’t believe i’m shagging you.” 

“it’s because i’m fantastic at snogging,” louis yells at him. nick shakes his head and stops dead in his tracks. the boys are all nervous, looking at him weirdly, and zayn’s nowhere in sight. 

“is everything alright?” 

“just peachy,” harry says in a strange voice. it does little to ease nick’s nerves. 

“oh...kay? well, how many of you want a cuppa? i need a show of hands-- fuck!” 

for the second time in two days, a wolf comes out of the shadows and springs at his neck. he throws himself to the right and drops to a crouch, scouring the room for anything he can use to help. the boys are just standing there watching him and for a moment, nick thinks they’re going to let him be killed. they’d promised they wouldn’t kill him, but said nothing about standing by, and this gets rid of all their problems. 

it’s a shame. he thought they were friends. 

the wolf takes advantage of his distraction and crashes into his chest. nick collapses flat on the floor, pinned under the wolf’s paws and its snarling mouth centimetres from his jaw. 

“harry, help,” he tries to huff but no sound makes it out of his throat. “please--” 

“i felt it!” louis shouts, barrelling into the room. he doesn’t blink when he sees nick under attack. “i felt his fear!” 

the wolf growls, claws pricking at nick’s skin. why isn’t anyone _doing_ anything?

“you felt it?” harry asks, lighting up. louis nods.

“i did! zayn, you can get off him now.” 

there’s a moment when nick doesn’t think zayn will get up, that he’ll go against louis’ orders and rip out nick’s neck. but then, with one last scratch of his claws, zayn bounds away. nick stays on the floor and breathes again, deep gulping lungfuls of air that makes his chest contract. 

“zayn just attacked me,” he says flatly. 

“i asked him to.” 

he lolls his head to frown at louis. “why?” 

“niall said there wasn’t a connection. between us.” 

“yeah.” 

louis grins, offering his hand to help nick up. nick stands, straightens his shirt and winces at the ache in his chest. zayn had drawn blood, a little, and it stings. 

“well, i felt a connection.”

“what does that mean?” 

“it means i might be able to help you redo the ties.” 

 

jesy leans forward and rests her elbows on the table. nick’s not exactly sure how they found her, but liam had gone out and come back in a half hour with the four girls in tow. they’re still just as intimidating, but the smiles they send him are kind enough. 

“what you’re suggesting, that’s not possible.” 

louis raises his eyebrows, smile playing at the corners of his mouth. 

“he’s a fucking alpha. that’s shouldn’t be possible either.” 

“you shouldn’t be able to feel his ties, louis,” she snaps and taps her fingers on the table. “first off, he’s not a werewolf, and second, he’s not in your pack.” 

“i know it’s strange, but it’s _true._ ”

jesy narrows her eyes at him. “you’re lying.” 

“what do we have to gain for lying? you’re the one with all the power here. if it works, you’re the alpha of one of the biggest, most notorious packs in the country. and if it doesn’t, well. then you’ve got nick for an alpha.” 

“this is absolutely mental.” 

“it’s worth giving a shot?” 

“wait,” nick interrupts just as jesy’s starting to nod. “i don’t know you at all. how do i know you’re going to be a good leader?”

“i’m the one here negotiating with you, aren’t i?” she says as nick chews on his lip. “look, the bloodmoon pack is very large and competitive, and i’ve fought a lot of people to get to where am i now. when the previous alpha died, it was chaos. everyone wanted a chance at the top.” 

“how’d you get it, then?” 

jesy meets his eyes straight on, her gaze steady and unafraid. “i made friends with people who were overlooked. i got the favour of most of the pack. and, when it was necessary, i fought for it.” she lifts her chin. “and i won.” 

“she’s a good leader,” says leigh anne shortly. she’s holding hands with jade, and jade with perrie. 

“wouldn’t be here if she wasn’t,” says perrie. “the pack will be in good hands.” 

nick’s father always told him to trust his gut, that it was usually right. he looks at jesy, looks at the way they’re all connected together, and something seems right. he nods. 

“i believe you.” 

a grin spreads across jesy’s face, wide and lovely. she nods as well and shifts her gaze to louis. 

“alright, smartarse. what do we have to do?” 

“the ties are weak, but i can feel them,” louis answers her, pulling a tiny face at her comment. “i think i’ll be able to retie them.” 

“can you do it now? i’ve never done this before.” 

louis frowns for a minute, concentrating, and then shakes his head. “nah, still too weak.” 

“how are you going to do it, then?” nick asks, slightly alarmed. 

“it’ll have to be outside. how close is it to a full moon?” 

“a week,” liam says promptly and louis thinks about it. 

“that might do. not ideal, but it might work. tonight, outside. we’ll all be wolves, ‘cept nick of course.” 

“we can wait until a full moon,” jesy says but louis shakes his head again, more firmly this time. 

“no offence, but i’d rather you lot leave as soon as possible.” he smiles thinly, sincere enough not to be mean. “you’re not our favourite pack.” 

jesy laughs a little and inclines her head. “understood. tonight, then. hopefully.” 

a ball of anxiety starts to pool in nick’s stomach, mixed with apprehension and fear. it’s not a nice feeling. 

“it’s not going to hurt, is it?” 

“shouldn’t,” liam tells him quietly. “i mean, i wasn’t an alpha, but it just felt like a little tugging in my head when i had it done.” 

“but no promises,” niall says and grunts when harry elbows him in the side. harry gives nick an encouraging smile. 

“it’ll be fine, promise.”

louis leans in so his shoulder’s brushing nick’s, reaching over to briefly touch his hand. it feels like an encouragement and a little bit of the _anxietyapprehensionfear_ fades away

“well, if you say so, harold.” harry’s smile slides into a grin, one that nick returns easily. 

the girls gather themselves and stand, almost at the same time. perrie lingers to look at them all. her long hair’s tied up in a ponytail and she seems tired. 

“we’ll be back around ten,” she says. “i think jade’s going to bring snacks.” 

niall and louis perk up immediately.

“snacks?” they say together and nick can hear perrie laughing all the way out of the house. 

 

nick’s training had taught him a lot of things. he’d been taught how to use all sorts of weapons, basic first aid, how to endure and survive and fight, they’d all been drilled into his head over and over again. 

he’d gone through _years_ of it, brushed up every couple of months, and the lessons they taught followed him even after he’d gotten out of that life. always be on your guard, always carry a knife on your person, always try to engage first. 

“and never, _ever_ , under _any_ circumstances,” his instructor had said, his voice a bellow and his face red, “let yourself be the only human in the room.” 

 

“nick,” louis says, snapping him out of his thoughts. “nick, are you ready?” 

nick looks at him and then at the mass of wolves sitting just behind his shoulder outside. there were quite a few; jesy had brought reinforcements. 

“you’re not going to let them attack me, are you?” he asks carefully as he focuses back on louis. louis’ face softens. 

“nah, i like you too much to let them get to you.” 

“thanks, love.” 

“i’m right there, yeah? me and all the boys, right there with you. they’ll have to get through us if they try anything,” says louis as he crowds in closer, going up on his toes. nick closes the distance between them and kisses him, desperate and needy. louis kisses him back immediately, seems to understand what nick’s trying to do, and captures nick’s face in his hands. it’s grounding, soothing, to feel louis’ thumbs stroke along his jaw and his mouth moving against nick’s. 

after a moment, they pull away. nick’s breathless a little, a combination of fear and snogging, and his hands shake when he goes to fix louis’ hair. 

“love you,” he says hoarsely, because it’s swelling up from his toes and he thinks he might explode if he doesn’t say it now. louis’ eyes open wide. “i love you.” 

“such a cliché, grimshaw,” mutters louis but he’s grinning. he presses one more kiss to nick’s mouth and steps away, a soft smile on his lips. “for the record, i love you too. kind of stupid for you, actually.” 

and then he’s pulling off his clothes and changing into a wolf before nick’s eyes. the change takes a few seconds, and then he creeps forward, cautious. nick’s frozen in place, never looking away from the wolf, every instinct drummed into him telling him to run. 

louis steps forward again and nudges nick’s hand gently with his nose. the cold startles nick enough to unfreeze, and he crouches down so they’re eye to eye. 

louis’ eyes are the same as when he’s human and nick takes comfort in that, takes comfort that not all of louis is melted away. they’re kind and careful and a brilliant blue, and worry’s written across them, obvious even as a wolf. 

nick reaches up tentatively to stroke the fur on louis’ nose, then on top of his head. louis keeps watching him. 

“you’re very soft, love,” nick whispers, petting him behind the ears. louis’ eyes slide shut and a little hum of happiness comes from his chest. nick laughs. “does that feel nice? god, you’re just like pig dog.” 

louis’ rumbling sounds a lot like laughter and his mouth lolls in a wide grin. it makes nick laugh as well. louis bumps his face into nick’s, pushing him gently towards the door. 

“i know, i know. it’s time to go.” 

it’s still hard walking outside into the mass of wolves, even with louis’ promises ringing through his head, but louis bumps up against his thighs and it’s a little easier. nick’s fingers itch for something to hold, not even to use, but as reassurance. he settles a hand into louis’ fur instead. 

jesy, or at least the wolf nick assumes is jesy, sits a facing him, a little out from the wolves behind her. she’s an impressive auburn, stately and proud. nick can see why she’d make a good alpha now. she carries a presence, especially in wolf form, and it commands the attention of everyone around her. 

hopefully, this all works out. 

he stops about a foot from her and tries not to shy away from everyone looking at him. it’s awkward and uncomfortable, being the only human, and he holds on tighter to louis. 

“erm… hi,” he says lamely and feels louis shake with laughter under him. “thanks for coming? i guess?” 

jesy inclines her head and it’s such a human gesture that it makes nick relax a fraction. louis butts against his knees, causing them to buckle. nick kneels so they’re on the same level again, so louis can look him dead in the eye. 

and then the weirdest tickling sensation starts to happen. it feels like his mind’s being tugged, like there’s an itch he can’t scratch on the inside of his head. it doesn’t hurt, but it makes his whole body recoil in discomfort instead. 

the tugging gets more insistent and more tangible. it’s become a niggling now and it’s like his mind’s being rearranged. he supposes it is, in a way. 

a dull ache starts in the front of his head, the beginnings of a migraine. louis is breathing hard, trembling with exertion, and he’s not looked away from nick at once. he whines a little high in his throat. 

there’s a flash of blinding pain, then the sensation of falling, and nick’s entire body sags involuntarily. louis drops down too, shaking his head like he’s trying to get rid of something. 

jesy lets out a piercing howl, dragging it out until others join her, filling the air with the sound. it sends shivers down nick’s spine. she drops her head and trots forward. looking at nick and louis, she nods at them, gives nick’s cheek a tiny lick, and then turns around and runs away. her pack follows her on quiet paws until the only trace of their presence are the indents in the grass where they sat. 

nick buries his face in louis’ fur and breathes hard for a moment. 

“did it work, then?” 

he sits up just as someone comes barrelling at him. nick gets a flash of chocolate fur and green eyes before he’s bowled over and attacked with a tongue. harry licks at every bit of nick’s face he can reach, ignoring nick’s attempts to push him away. a yellowy wolf nick assumes is niall joins in too, as does the darker brown one that’s very liam-like. they’re loud and tickly and enthusiastic, nipping at each other and licking nick in their enthusiasm. 

“okay, okay, that’s enough,” nick says around a laugh and shoves at someone’s head. liam sits back and yelps, making harry and niall sit back too. they’re grinning very wolfy grins and harry can barely keep still, he’s so excited. 

“you’re not hurt, are you?” someone says quietly and nick glances over his shoulder to see louis back as a human. he’s got his arm slung around zayn, playing with the dark fur at his neck. 

“a little bit of a headache, but i’m fine. nothing a little paracetamol can’t fix.” 

louis smiles a bit but it’s hesitant, unsure. 

“you’re certain?” 

“wouldn’t lie to you, would i?” he stands up and holds his hand out for louis to take, hauling him up too. “now c’mon, love. if i stay awake any longer i think i might die from exhaustion.” 

louis snorts and laces their fingers together. “if you say so.” 

 

nick falls asleep next to louis and is only a tiny bit surprised when he wakes up to four extra boys there too. 

 

louis slides him a glass with a sigh, leaning forward into nick’s space. 

“oi,” nick says, “you’re in my space. is this proper customer service?” 

“fuck off,” louis tells him, but then he gives him a kiss so nick doesn’t think he means it. 

“very, _very_ strange customer service. never had that happen to me before.” 

louis rolls his eyes and steals a sip of nick’s beer, quieting nick’s protests with a raised eyebrow. he sets down the glass and taps a finger against the rim. nick waits. 

“there's a full moon tonight. just to let you know,” he says eventually. 

“okay? should I be worried? you're not going to like, go bloodthirsty and murder me are you?”

he laughs. “no, nothing like that. we just can't be human for the night and we run around like puppies. we’ll get a bit antsy before we change, though.”

“why?”

“being that close and being human, it's not comfortable” louis says, scrunching his face up. it's disgustingly adorable. nick could kiss him again. “it's like your skin’s itchy and the only thing that'll soothe it is changing.” 

“oh. that sounds...lovely?”

“it's not so bad, really. sometimes we just stay wolves the whole day and that's the best thing to do.”

“why don't you always?”

louis shrugs. “different reasons. to be more normal, maybe, or if we've got stuff to do. or to make sure no one sees us. that kind of thing. or like, work,” he offers, waving a hand at the bar. nick concedes the point with a nod. 

“do i need to do anything? for tonight, i mean.” 

“not unless you can change into a wolf,” louis says. “i’ll just be gone most of the night. you don’t have to stay over, if you don’t want to.” 

he says it flippantly, but something in it makes nick pause. 

“do you… want me to stay? i can, like,” he asks gently and watches louis’ cheeks turn a tiny bit red. 

“you don’t have to.” 

“lou, do you want me to stay the night,” he says flatly. louis shrugs again, glancing at him quickly. 

“yeah, if you could. it’d be nice.” 

nick leans over the bar so he’s close, pressing his nose to louis’ face just to be cheeky. it makes louis laugh, which was nick’s goal, so he pecks him on the cheekbone. 

“should i bring pig?” 

“eh, maybe not? don’t want to deal with a freaked-out pig and a freaked-out you at the same time.” 

“louis, darling,” nick tells him dryly, “i’ve already been the only human in a circle full of wolves as you messed with my brain and handled it _quite_ well, if i do say so myself. the full moon is not going to freak me out much more.” 

louis looks unconvinced as he tops up nick’s drink. 

“but i won’t bring her, if it makes you uncomfortable,” he adds. 

“maybe… not this time? just us, yeah?” 

nick catches louis’ wrist and tugs until he looks at him. 

“love, why are you so worried about this?” 

louis fidgets and nick rubs at his pulse with an absent thumb, feeling it rabbit under his touch and waiting for him to get his thoughts in order. 

“dunno. it’s weird, right? it’s weird.” 

“maybe,” nick allows. “but why’s it weird?” 

he hesitates. 

“i didn’t… i didn’t expect you to be so cool with this. i’m not _human,_ nick, not all the time. and when you, like, flirting with me and we went on that date to the record shop-- it made me so sad because it couldn’t _go anywhere_ , y’know? you’d ask too many questions and i couldn’t explain, and i’d have to give excuses about why i’m responsible for adult boys and why i disappear every month for a night or two, or like why there’s always fucking hair on my clothes even though i don’t have a dog, and i would’ve been really careful about when you could come over so none of us werewolves-- i didn’t think you could know about any of that. and if you _did,_ i didn’t think you’d be alright about it. but you are and i don’t… want to… scare you away.” 

his voice is barely audible as he trails off and his pulse is still jumping under nick’s fingers, betraying the calm demeanor he’s trying to project. nick squeezes his wrist a little, comfortingly, and brings it up to smack a kiss on the back of louis’ hand. 

“i’m not going anywhere. you _know_ i’m not, because i love you. wolves and all.” 

“that’s the second time you’ve said you love me,” louis manages. nick shrugs a shoulder. 

“must’ve meant it, then.” 

“yeah,” louis says, tilting his head to examine him. “you must’ve.” 

nick kisses his hand again and then drops it, sitting back on his stool, pleased. 

“now that we’ve got that all settled, i’ll come over ‘round eight? alright?” 

“alright.” 

“see you then, lou.” 

 

the sunshine is what wakes nick, in the end. that or the kick in nick’s back delivered by a harry who’s dead to the world. he groans, rubs the bruise, and shifts away from harry’s legs. coincidentally, it shifts him closer to louis. 

louis, who has dirt smudged on his cheek. louis who has grass in his hair and a frown on his forehead as he sleeps. 

louis, who is surrounded by his boys, his _pack,_ and who would die for them. louis, who loves nick and who nick loves back. 

louis, who found them so they could become a family. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) @bigbrotherlouis on tumblr if you wanna talk


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